(Minghui.org) 1993 was the darkest time of my life. My eight-year-old child died in a car accident on the way home from school. I could not handle the loss and cried every day. Grief-stricken, I could not work. My family agreed that I should move, so my husband moved us to a new location.
We had another child four years later, but I was still sad. I wondered what the meaning of life was.
I began to miss my parents and wanted to go back to my hometown. My husband agreed to let me go with our child to visit my parents in 1999.
I was surprised to find that everyone except my father practiced Falun Dafa. I had developed many health issues after my first child died, so my mother said, “Practice Falun Dafa. It is different from other qigongs. Falun Dafa has great health benefits and teaches us to be good.” I took her advice and began to practice it.
I returned to my own home in April 1999. I studied the Fa and did the exercises while taking care of my child, but I did not have contact with other practitioners.
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began the persecution of Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa) in July 1999. Television propaganda maligned Falun Gong around the clock. I was surprised. Why was such a good practice suddenly banned?
My husband was a temporary worker in the military. There were many meetings conveying the main message that if any of their relatives practiced Falun Dafa, those military employees would be fired. Because I did not study the Fa well and had a lot of attachments, I gave up my practice.
This is the biggest regret in my life. However, I still felt that Falun Dafa was rooted in my heart.
Ten years passed and Master did not give up on me. I had two dreams in which a Dao looked down at me from a cloud. At the beginning of 2009, I visited my parents and brought back an MP3 player with Master’s Fa lectures.
One day I cried because I accidentally deleted the recordings on the MP3 player. I called my mother who told me to ask Master for help. I went to Master's photo and asked for help. I said, “Please help me find a local practitioner.”
Two days later I met a local practitioner on my way to work. With tears in my eyes, I thanked Master for taking care of me. With the help of fellow practitioners, I started my true cultivation. I decided that I had to make up for lost time.
However, now I ran into trouble with my husband, who feared the persecution and did not want me to practice. He drank too much and came to see me at work. He tore my clothes and beat me. He said if I continued to practice Falun Dafa, he would divorce me.
I thought about something Master said about gaining four ways in one shot. I did not fear him or resent him. I told him, “I am here for the Fa. I cannot give it up. I need a home, too.” Very angry, he left.
I cried and felt pity for my husband. He went to work the next day as if nothing had happened and did not file for divorce.
As I read Zhuan Falun one day, I felt totally clearheaded. I had no thought but to study the Fa. A beam of blue light was shining on me as I studied. I felt serene and comfortable. When I finished and looked up, I saw it was dark. Master had provided the light for me to study.
At first I did not pay attention to sending forth righteous thoughts. We lived near the military campus. There was a big speaker that played CCP songs, which kept me from calming down. Then I saw Master’s Fa in my mind: “… if your righteous thoughts are strong, the power is enough to split a mountain …” (“What is a Dafa Disciple,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI）
So I thought, “Why are my righteous thoughts not strong enough? Who am I? I am a divine being!”
The sound then became fainter and fainter, and I could hardly hear it. I calmed down and sent righteous thoughts. Sometimes when I was able to calm down, I could see many things through my third eye.
My daughter was doing well in high school. When she came home one day, she told me that she was selected as an excellent student but had to join the Communist Youth League and then in the future she could join the CCP. She was told that was how she could find a good job and become an official later.
Distraught, I tried to explain to her about the persecution. She did not want to listen and began to argue with me. I did not know what to do. It would be bad for her if she joined. She just couldn't do that.
That night I couldn’t sleep. I held Master's photo and cried, “Please help me. If I can't save my daughter, who else can I save?”
The next morning, my daughter picked up her backpack and was about to leave for school when she turned around and said, “Mom, don’t worry about it. I won’t join.” I was pleased and thanked Master.
It is Master who gives me courage, who gave me a second chance to be a true practitioner. There are no words to express my gratitude. The only thing I can do is to cultivate diligently and return to my true home.