(Minghui.org) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
After I began practicing Falun Dafa in 2013 I experienced many positive changes – I became a more compassionate person and I'm now considerate of others, both at work and at home. I'm immensely grateful to Master and Dafa.
I joined the group of practitioners promoting Shen Yun this year by chance. I believe this opportunity was no coincidence. I was determined to do the task well.
Joining the group provided me with a very good opportunity to cultivate – I felt that it was Master’s arrangement for us to improve ourselves, deepen our understanding of Dafa, and save the sentient beings in Singapore.
In October, we held an introductory talk for the 2020 Shen Yun Japan tour. Everyone in the publicity and introductory team had strong righteous thoughts and put in a lot of time and effort to make this possible.
Initially, I was only in charge of planning the timeline for the event. Due to a manpower shortage I was later asked to present part of the talk. This meant that I had to write the content and present it in front of everyone. The other practitioners encouraged me. I thought, “The harder I work, the more sentient beings I can save.” I strengthened my righteous thoughts as I drafted and wrote the material, and rehearsed presenting it. Although I had no prior experience the other practitioners were very patient and made helpful suggestions. Everyone was unified by the thought that we all wanted to assist Master in Fa rectification and save sentient beings.
The day of the presentation I was jittery and nervous, but I asked Master for help. In my mind, I told Master that since he arranged for me to do this I would do my best. I felt enveloped by strong energy and all my fears and uncertainties dissipated. The talk was very successful and we received positive feedback from the audience.
I thought my job was over, but the coordinator told me there would be a second presentation, and asked if I wanted to be the main speaker this time. Because this required hours of preparation, and I also had to work and take care of my family, I refused. When I heard that another practitioner would the main speaker, I felt very guilty – yes, I'm very busy, but aren’t the other practitioners busy too? We are so short staffed. How can I save more sentient beings if I refuse? After some reflection I agreed to be the main speaker.
Things are always easier said than done. After realizing that I had to prepare and memorize everything in 2 weeks, I became anxious. In addition, the talk was held around the same time that my students would have their exams. As a teacher, my students’ academic results are directly linked to my career. With all these obligations to fulfill, I started to have thoughts of quitting. I complained to my husband and said that I planned to quit after I gave the second presentation.
The second talk inched closer. Although I was more familiar with my speech, my mind was still full of insecurities and fear. The morning before the talk, I sent forth righteous thoughts, studied a Lecture of Fa. I rehearsed the content twice. I was more confident and felt that I'd be able to give a good presentation before I left the team.
Just before I stepped onstage, I was struck by a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea. My mind went blank and my well-prepared script became jumbled. I knew that this was interference and I asked Master for help. I gradually calmed down and was able to give the presentation. But my stumble at the start it made it less than perfect.
At that moment I realized that cultivation is extremely serious. Every one of our thoughts has an effect. When I looked inward, I saw that I was selfish and I wanted to be comfortable. I thought the other practitioners would blame me, but they comforted me instead.
I trudged back home with a heavy and dejected heart. I watched the 2020 Shen Yun trailer on my phone. I felt a piercing pain, almost like my heart was being torn apart. I couldn’t breathe or utter a word as my tears flowed. I held Master’s portrait in my hands. I felt so guilty for making such an unforgivable mistake, so embarrassed and ashamed. I told the other practitioners that I would leave the Shen Yun publicity group.
My sons comforted me. My eldest son said, “Mom, why are you crying? You did really well today! Even if there were mistakes, we can do better next time! How can you call quits when there's so little time left?” I looked up at my son in surprise. He shrugged and said, “I don’t know why I said that.” I realized that it was Master trying to encourage me and I started crying again.
The next day, I got up and tried to distract myself with housework. My mind kept going back to the previous day's events – I realized that if I quit, Master would be disappointed, but the old forces would rejoice. If the Fa rectification were to suddenly end, and I had not done my part, or fulfilled my vows, then what? Wouldn’t I feel a thousand times worse than I did now?
Master has sacrificed so much to guide and help me with his compassion, while I only cared about my own little sorrows and misfortunes. Was I involved in promoting Shen Yun just to receive benefits from Master and Dafa? How selfish that would be! I thought, I shouldn't sink deeper into self-loathing. I won't let my 6 years of cultivation go to waste! Suddenly, my mind became clear and I felt motivated. Looking at Master’s portrait, I said, “Master, I realize what I did wrong. As a practitioner, my life was given to me by Dafa. I should truly do all that I can to assist Master and save sentient beings.”
That night, the other practitioners phoned me and sent several text messages to encourage me. They said they were all waiting for me to re-join the group because they refuse to leave me behind. I'm immensely grateful for these diligent practitioners. I wish to thank each and every one from the Shen Yun publicity and introductory team for their encouragement and support!
Looking back, there were many instances where it was obvious that Master was looking after us. No matter what task we do, or what roles we play, we must work together to rectify the Fa with pure minds. We must always remember that they are Falun Dafa practitioners and we have responsibilities to fulfill. We should not validate ourselves. Instead we should always be humble, unselfish and diligent, that way we can maximize the strength of Dafa.
Fa rectification is coming to an end, and time is really tight. I will continue to look inward and cultivate myself. I am immensely grateful to Master for giving me an opportunity to participate in this task, and improve my cultivation through the process. Participating in promoting Shen Yun is a great opportunity to save people and improve our cultivation. I would like to urge more practitioners to join us and fulfill our prehistoric vows!
I would like to share an excerpt from Master’s teaching,
“Dafa disciples are the hope of humankind—the one and only hope. It is our mission to save lives, and a tremendous responsibility. Only by cultivating yourselves well can you do well what Dafa disciples must do.” (“A Congratulatory Letter to the European Fa Conference in Paris”)
Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2019 Singapore Fa Conference)