(Minghui.org)
I had a vivid dream in which some practitioners and I went to a Fa conference. We were early, so we waited in the hall. The hall looked like a college dining hall, with long tables and chairs.
Soon, Master arrived. He walked toward me, and I knew he wanted to see my “report card”. I handed him my journal which contained the record of my doing the three things and personal cultivation. I was hoping that Master would only read the first half. I did not feel my cultivation in the latter half of the journal was as solid as Master would like to see.
As if he had read my thoughts, Master turned my journal to the second half, and with a smile on his face, pointed to the contents. I immediately understood what Master wanted me to do: to improve my personal cultivation. I promised Master that I would do better.
Master walked toward another practitioner and asked him about his profession. The practitioner said he was trained in finance. Master suggested that he work for a company owned by a Dafa practitioner. Without a seconds thought, the practitioner replied that he is already doing a project and does not want to work. Master smiled at him and walked away without another word.
I know this practitioner. He devotes his time to a project and is not financially independent. His family has been supporting him for many years. I said to him, “You don’t have to refuse so hastily, Master must have his reasons, you could think about it more and reply later.” Then I woke up.
Something I understood from the dream was that even though Dafa practitioners are one body and we should help each other out, we still need to make rational choices based on our abilities. Simply following others is not the right thing to do. Dafa is based in ordinary society.Master said:
“Throughout the entire course of my lectures on the Fa and cultivation, I have been responsible to society and students. The results we have received have been good, and their impact upon the entire society has also been quite good.” (Zhuan Falun)
As practitioners, in addition to saving sentient beings, we also need to set a good example in society by being responsible at work and to our families. Only through interacting with ordinary people can we show them the goodness of Falun Dafa. We would damage Dafa’s image if our behavior seemed strange to those around us.
In my dream, Master pointed out that I needed to work on my cultivation. I knew I needed stronger righteous thoughts and to be more diligent.
A few months later, I faced a major test.
In order to put together a family financial planning package, I needed to take a physical exam. My doctor found a lump in one of my breasts and urged me to have a biopsy to rule out cancer.
Two of my husband’s siblings had been recently diagnosed with cancer, and his brother had just passed away from liver cancer. His sister was also going through chemotherapy for breast cancer.
The two cancer diagnoses in my family and my own situation made me quite anxious. Thinking back, the lump had been there for some time and I had woken up many times from sharp pain in my breast. I could not bring up my condition with my husband because he was still mourning the loss of his brother.
Sentimentality, worry and the illusion of my impending death put a tremendous amount of pressure on me. I felt my life was about to come to a close. However, deep down inside, I knew this was not where I wanted to be as a practitioner. Without elevating my xinxing and enough righteous thoughts, I was facing my troubles like an ordinary person, not like a cultivator.
I started to search within myself for loopholes. Firstly, I had not completely put myself in the hands of Master and the Fa. Even though I had remained on the path of cultivation for over 20 years, I had never gone through any major illness karma. Craving a comfortable life had weakened my determination to be diligent. So I increased Fa study and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate any bad elements and attachments in my field.
Master enlightened me to the Fa:
“Once you bring up the word “illness,” I won’t want to listen.” (Zhuan Falun)
“When disciples have ample righteous thoughtsMaster has the power to turn back the tide”(“The Master-Disciple Bond,” Hong Yin II)
“But it’s not that you will definitely have to go through exactly something like that for it to count as laying down your life; that’s only the form of it. I don’t deem that important. What I look at is whether or not your mind can truly do that.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)
Half a month passed, and I still could not decide whether I should go through the formality of getting a biopsy. I did not want my husband to see me as irrational. There was a fierce battle taking place inside me, a battle between the side of me that was a cultivator, and the side that was still human.
One evening at Fa study, a young practitioner mentioned that she was going to see her primary care doctor. I knew that Master had arranged this conversation. With strong righteous thoughts, I said to her, “Seeing a primary care doctor is a trap. It seems at first as though it will be harmless to get checked out; plus, it's free. But, we could easily become trapped in the system and lose control over our body.”
After sharing with her that night, I felt calm and steadfast. The decision came naturally: I will stay on the path arranged by Master! At that moment, the barrier between the Fa and myself dissolved:
“True thoughts transform the whole sky bright” (“Stirred by Reflection,” Hong Yin IV)
The next morning, after sending forth righteous thoughts and doing the exercises, I had a mental conversation with myself. Do you believe in Master and the Fa? Or do you believe in modern medicine? Do you believe a cultivator’s body can be transformed into high energy matter? I remembered the “report card” in my dream.
Master's words appeared in my mind:
“The only path that lies before you, the disciples of Dafa, is one of real cultivation. There is no other path.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
After lunch I told my husband, “In regards to my health, I know you worry about me, and of course you feel it is harmless to get a check-up. What if the result is positive? Will I get treatment? I have two options, one is to rely on modern medicine. The other one is better and doesn't require medication, which one would you want me to choose?”
My husband replied, “I knew this conversation would come up eventually, it seems to me that that modern medicine contradicts your spiritual belief. However, I see getting checked out and receiving treatment are two different things. Of course I believe the body has its own healing power. But if I had to choose, I would choose what I can see.”
I responded, “You have heard many cases of Falun Dafa practitioners being completely cured of terminal illnesses. There must indeed be something more powerful than modern science, and I am on the path to prove it, under the condition that I must believe in it. I cannot cultivate if I rely on modern science whenever there is a problem.”
After two hours of genuine conversation, he said, “I will respect whatever decision you make.” I did not go for the biopsy.
While I was sending righteous thoughts a few days later, my celestial eye saw a beautiful flower, it looked almost like a lotus flower. The flower shimmered with many colors and floated right in front of me. It stayed for a long time before slowly disappearing. I knew Master was encouraging me because I had made the right decision.
After a few more days, the lump and the pain in my breast disappeared and my husband never brought up the topic again.
Master said:
“What’s not a righteous mind? It refers to a person’s inability to always treat himself as a practitioner.” ( Zhuan Falun)
As a practitioner, having a righteous mind and a strong main consciousness is vital.
Two days ago while sending righteous thoughts, I felt my main soul drift to the edge of humanity. I saw almost everyone there lived a life filled with attachments and desires. The part of them making the important decisions about life are not their true selves. By following the standard of the Fa, practitioners can elevate above the human level.
Believing in Master and the Fa, cultivating ourselves and eliminating our human attachments will let us harmonize with Dafa.
Master said:
“Those disciples who have come through the comprehensive and most rigorous tests have laid a rock-solid foundation for Dafa in this world, have displayed in the human world the true manifestation of Dafa, and at the same time have consummated their own most magnificent positions.” (“Towards Consummation,” Essentials for Further Advancement II)