(Minghui.org) I'm an extroverted person and I’m very curious about everything. Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, my days were filled with gossip, socializing and eating and drinking.
After I started to practice Falun Dafa, even though the persecution was severe, I frequently visited other practitioners. In this way I felt that my days were full. But I later realized that my seeking companionship and socializing was a strong attachment.
“Unendurable loneliness is most dangerous to humans, and it’s also the greatest tribulation in practicing cultivation.” (“Lecture at the First Conference in North America”)
When I tried to improve myself in this regard in accordance with the Fa, I found that cultivating alone is very hard. I would visit another practitioner every 10 or 15 days. If I didn’t go I felt like something was missing. We would drink tea and chat. The other practitioner was excited and happy to see me. Gradually I felt that something wasn’t quite right. Every time I went there, I was subconsciously trying to get some news: How are the other practitioners doing? Has anyone been arrested? Then we’d gossip about the others. From the information I received, I felt that I could gauge how my cultivation was going, see what I should watch out for, and feel that I wasn't falling behind. Afterwards, I became complacent.
One of the old forces’ standards for measuring practitioners is to see whether one is able endure loneliness. The old forces made their own arrangements for each practitioner. For example, today someone praises him and tomorrow someone else criticizes him. This is in fact a trap. If a practitioner falls for it then the old forces have a reason to persecute him and claim that he can’t endure loneliness.
My Attachment Is Pointed Out
Cultivation is very serious. Several years ago I was constantly harassed by the police but I couldn't find my shortcoming. One policeman said, “You need to have less contact with other practitioners.” I thought, “That's not up to you.” But I later realized that the old forces could say, “You like to socialize. You go to other practitioners’ homes and chat with them for long periods of time. Is that what a practitioner should do?”
After I understood that if I can't improve fundamentally then I'm the same as an ordinary person, I was able to improve a little bit. However, for a long time I felt unsettled and I easily became irritated when I didn’t visit other practitioners. I later realized that the old forces were trying to control me. This was not my true self.
The uneasy feelings I had if I didn’t go and the happy feelings when I visited others weren't the real me.
Being able to endure loneliness shows one’s level of cultivation. I really admire those practitioners who work on Minghui. They've quietly worked for the past 20 years. They are like still water and even the gods look at them with respect. This state of quiet diligence is very different from those of us who like to socialize.
Everyone admired one local practitioner and said he was very diligent and cultivated well. But then he got stomach cancer and passed away. For a long time I was confused about what happened. I recently realized that he really enjoyed socializing. Every 10 or 15 days he visited each local practitioner. Every time he came, he always had some specific things to talk about. After he developed symptoms of cancer he didn’t enlighten to his shortcomings and eventually passed away.
Recently 10, 20, and even 30 veteran practitioners were arrested together. We are at the end of Fa-rectification. How could this happen? A practitioner from a region where these arrests occurred said that the police arrested the practitioners when they got together to watch the two million people march in Hong Kong. Didn't the old forces take advantage of their shortcomings?
One practitioner kept teasing me by saying, “When are you going to treat everyone to a meal?” Even though it was a joke, it pointed out my problems. In the past I was frequently invited by the others to eat. When someone invited me, I would get very excited and arrive early. Even though we called it a “sharing” did we really gather to discuss our cultivation? Most times we just chatted and ate. Now that I think about it, we were too relaxed and perhaps we enjoyed ourselves too much. Was that cultivation? Do the recent large-scale arrests have something to do with this?
I remember that before the persecution started in July 20, 1999, our local exercise site also often organized discussions about cultivation. However, back then when we went to a practitioner’s home or went to another city and it was time to eat, most times we just had one dish with rice. When we went out to eat it was just a simple bowl of noodles or a bowl of rice.
The coordinator told us, “When Master traveled around giving lectures, the practitioners who accompanied him just ate instant noodles.” Of course, I’m not saying that practitioners should not keep in touch. I’m mainly talking about the habit of visiting each other for pleasure. We should eliminate this attachment.
I’ll end my sharing with Master's words in “Fa Teaching on World Falun Dafa Day”:
“Having said this much, I’m thinking this matter is just incredibly serious! It is so serious, yet many people are not treating it seriously. That’s notably so for some veteran Dafa disciples. Has it occurred to you that everything in your daily life is part of cultivation? Your every word and action, and everything you do—all of it is part of your cultivation. Do you realize that?”
This is just my limited understanding. If anything is inappropriate, please kindly point it out.