(Minghui.org) Greetings Master! Greetings fellow practitioners!
I learned about Falun Dafa in 1995, when my mother began practicing. I was too young to study the teachings, so while my mother read the Fa and did the exercises I occasionally followed her movements. I grew up, stopped practicing Falun Dafa and led an ordinary person’s life until 2013 when something happened that made me return to Dafa. I enlightened to the fact that merciful Master had not given up on me, even though I was lost in ordinary human society. My family and I moved to Toronto in 2016. I would like to tell you about my experiences.
At our local weekly Friday study group, we recently began memorizing the teachings. I tried to follow suit. In the beginning, I only managed to recite one paragraph per week. Then I increased my pace and tried to memorize one paragraph per day.
I did not understand why every time I tried to memorize the Fa, I had all kinds of interfering thoughts; I simply could not calm down and memorize. For example, every day as soon as I started the first sentence, I felt anxious. I was afraid that I would not be able to finish and keep up with the others. Or, even if I memorized the paragraph for the day, I worried that I might forget it, so I had to start over again.
Because of these worries, I didn’t feel the magnificence and beauty of Dafa. Instead, it felt like a task and I was tired. I did not really take the Fa to heart. I was very perplexed about my situation. Perhaps Master saw my confusion. I found an article on the Minghui website. In the article, the practitioner mentioned that when they memorized the Fa, they were not in a rush, but rather they memorized it word for word, sentence by sentence. Even though they might not memorize much each day, they enlightened to the Fa principles as they put their heart into it.
This made me realize that when I was memorizing the Fa, I was always in a rush. I treated it as an assignment and wanted to rush through it. I did not realize that what I was memorizing was the Fa, the universe’s principles. It was disrespectful to approach it that way. When I realized that I had an attachment to results, I decided to eliminate it.
When I started to memorize, I felt anxious again. I tried to reject the anxiety by reminding myself that I was memorizing the Fa and that I had to memorize it word for word and sentence by sentence, based on my understanding of the Fa. Even if I may not able to finish one paragraph, I needed to take what I memorized into my heart. Gradually I could slow down. I felt that every time I memorized the Fa, I enlightened to the inner meanings of the Fa at my level.
I found that my state of mind improved while I studied the Fa. In the past, because I had only practiced for a short time, it was always my mother who took the lead when it was time to study the Fa. I felt like I was just going through the motions. Even though I was there physically, my mind was not. I just wanted to get it done and over with. But, after continuously memorizing the Fa, I felt that I could take the Fa into my heart and experience the boundless and immense meaning of Dafa. Also, I could stay very focused, unlike before, when my mind was not present, and I was interfered with by many external factors.
Master said, “When some people read Zhuan Falun they are not concentrating, but rather, thinking about other things, and not able to focus their attention on cultivation. It thus amounts to wasting time. And not just wasting time—instead of it being the time when they are to be elevating, they are using their minds to think over issues and things that they shouldn’t concern themselves with, and thus, not only aren’t they elevating, but on the contrary, they are often dropping in level. If you don’t study the Fa well, there are many things you will not be able to do well.” (“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)
As I continued to memorize the Fa, I was able to immerse myself in the Fa and I understood how to improve myself as a cultivator.
Master taught us:
“Selfishness is a fundamental attribute of the cosmos of the past. Because of that attribute, formation-stasis-degeneration-destruction and birth-aging-sickness-death are inevitable. In the future the Fa will be all-harmonizing, perfect, and selfless. The change in that fundamental attribute of the cosmos leads to fundamental changes in the cosmos's progression and beings' characteristics.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. V)
When I read this in the past, I didn’t understand what it meant to be altruistic.
After I memorized and studied the Fa more, I enlightened to the meanings. Before I started cultivation, whatever I thought about or did, the starting point was myself. I planned everything around myself; I satisfied myself first. After I began practicing, I knew that we needed to eliminate selfishness. I started to think from other people’s standpoints. But my attempts were very superficial and limited to being a good person. For example, when I went out to dinner with my husband, I would put a little bit of everything onto his plate. But if it was something I liked, I would hold onto it. If he took a lot of what I liked from me, I would be unhappy and would complain.
Once I understood what “altruism” was, I was able to focus on what he liked and put him first, instead of focusing on what I liked. Also, I tried to gradually eliminate the “selfishness” from my thoughts. For example, when someone said something negative about me, even though I was correct on the surface, I would try to think from others’ points of view and think about why they said that.
As I gradually eliminated selfishness, I enlightened to what Master said,
“Of course, we go about our practice in the secular world, and so we should still be devoted and respectful to our parents and care well for our children; we should be good to others, not to mention our own families, in whatever setting we may be, and treat everyone with kindness. We should treat everyone equally well, parents and children included, of course, and think of others first at all times. Your heart will not be selfish, then, but will be loving, kind, and compassionate. Common people, by contrast, tend to just be motivated by feelings and emotions.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
In the past, I thought about other people from my “feelings and emotions”. But I was still selfish. I did things for others because I felt comfortable doing it or I liked that person. I finally understood that only after we no longer focus on our “emotions” and “self” can we have “compassion” and “altruism.”
When I first left China, I saw many truth-clarification sites where practitioners spoke to people face to face. Since I came from an environment where the persecution is still going on, I felt it was truly wonderful to be able to openly talk to people about the truth and beauty of Dafa. So I went to these tourist sites to talk with people. But as I got busy with schoolwork and became involved in other Fa-validation projects, I stopped going. However, I’ve lately had this thought: I should continue to go to those tourist attractions to talk to people face-to-face.
So whenever I have time, I go to the Chinese consulate, Chinatown, and Queen’s Park to help distribute flyers and clarify the truth. I also go to Queen’s Park in the morning to do the exercises. On weekends, I go to Niagara Falls to participate in group exercises and talk to people about Falun Dafa.
I think it is very beneficial for young practitioners to participate in these activities. We speak English and can help older practitioners who don’t speak English. We can help Westerners who are interested in learning more about Falun Dafa or who would like to learn the exercises. I think that as long as we have the heart, Master will bring those people with predestined relationships to us.
I have also found that through my participation in these activities, I have improved a lot. I now have a strong desire to talk to Chinese people about Dafa so they can understand the goodness of Falun Dafa. I used to avoid Chinese people, and I only focused on Westerners. I had the notion that Westerners would not reject me. I admire those who clarify the truth to Chinese people in the front line, who persist in clarifying the truth to others regardless of their attitudes.
When I returned to the truth-clarification sites, I realized that I gradually eliminated the attachment for not wanting to approach Chinese people. In fact I focused on giving them flyers, and clarifying the truth to them.
As a young practitioner, I would suggest that more young practitioners come out and talk to people, clarify the truth and demonstrate the goodness of Falun Dafa.
The above is my cultivation experiences and understandings. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
(Presented at the 2019 Canada Fa Conference)