(Minghui.org) I was a very unreceptive and fragile person three years ago. The stress from my pursuit of ‘fame and gain’ in life impacted my health and I was frequently sick. I suffered from headaches, dizziness, palpitations and chest pain. Although I was academically successful and had a solid resume, I was not happy. I thought I had reached a dead end and felt trapped in a life without any meaning or hope for the future. I was fortunate to be able to learn about Falun Dafa and start on my path of cultivation. Cultivation has helped me to be more content and peaceful and I gradually recovered a vibrant life.
I just graduated from university this year. Since my youth, I was always at the of my class. I studied in the top schools and went for lessons to become skilled in many areas. However, few people knew the hardship behind all my academic success. The acknowledgments and benefits I reaped as a result of my great success caused me to unknowingly suppress my real thoughts and emotions. I always worked hard at my studies to get good results and I strove to accommodate everyone in my life so I would always be seen in the best light.
However, deep in my heart, I knew that all this was meaningless and I was not truly happy. However, I still allowed myself to indulge in this endless pursuit. Even with my parents, I suppressed my true feelings. I continued to present an increasingly glamorous appearance on the outside but it was getting increasingly dark on the inside.
"What is the meaning of life?" I often asked myself this question but could not find the answer. I could not find the answer to this question in my pursuit for academic results and good interpersonal relationships, nor in my favorite readings about the supernatural happenings or objects which science could not explain.
Often, while lying in my bed, I thought about the vastness of the universe and how my thoughts, or even the existence of human beings, would disappear thousands of years later. How empty and lonely will a space like that be? An unimaginable sense of fear sent shivers down my spine and made it hard to sleep.
Although I was always trying to be at my best, I did not have standards or principles of my own that guided me. I always changed according to the person I was with, so much so that it affected my thoughts and the way I expressed myself. I found it difficult to honestly express myself and feared I might be too critical of someone or hurt their feelings.
The stress from life and studies took a toll on my body too and I had headaches, chest pain, and low-grade fevers. I often had to visit the big hospitals and take medical leave to rest at home or at the school’s medical center.
All these conditions occurred because there was a problem with my mental health. But I did not notice that and was also not willing to face that fact. Once, as a senior in high school, I even painted a picture depicting my memories of my life so far as totally black.
During my time at the university, I joined a training program where the teacher functioned as a counselor and mentor and assisted students with life problems or issues. Topics such as the concept of life and death or family problems were brought up for discussions during the program. Feeling lost and helpless in different aspects of life, I often approached the program teacher to talk.
This teacher appeared to be someone with wisdom. She seemed to be able to grasp everything that happens in life. Once, during our conversation, she mentioned Falun Dafa and cultivation and recommended I read Zhuan Falun. She told me this was a book that I would not stop reading once I started it.
I was very curious as to what kind of book could make such a wise teacher believe in it. With a skeptical attitude, I clicked on the link to Zhuan Falun, only to be shocked by such a heavenly book. My emotions were very complex. I was stirred up with excitement mixed with a bit of being touched and sad. I was excited because there really is the existence of a universal law in this world, which is based on Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance!
This book answered all the questions that I had about science and beliefs and taught me about the meaning of life, the presence of gods and higher level beings, and how I should live as a human being from then on. I shouted in my heart, “Why did I only come across such a precious Fa now?” At the same time, I felt like crying from the bottom of my heart. I realized that I was sad because my earlier life had deviated from the Fa so much!
Since then, I started to cultivate my xinxing based on the tenets of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance and I also started to do the five Falun Dafa exercises. In terms of my studies, for the first time, I felt the joy of studying with my heart rather than merely caring about the results. When I changed my attitude towards my studies, studying became a relaxing and happy thing to do and I actually did even better!
The logic that I learned in Falun Dafa even helped me to answer some scientific questions that sometimes shocked the professor. In terms of health, I no longer had any ailments and I could feel the lightness and healthy state of my body. As I have the Fa in my heart, I just have to reflect on my behavior based on the tenets of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Therefore, I no longer feel awkward when I interact with people or express my thoughts. I can talk to people very openly.
As my xinxing improves, I am also more able to face the problems and setbacks in life in a calm manner, maintaining a placid and stable mental state. With that, I am able to lead an unrestrained and satisfying lifestyle and I feel that I have actually recovered the vibrancy in my life!
Not long ago, my boyfriend ended our relationship of many years. By the time I knew about it, he already had another girlfriend. My friends and relatives who knew were angry about it and sad for me. Even my ex-boyfriend was also very worried about me.
Although it came up very suddenly, I almost had no negative emotions. Instead, I pondered it quite calmly and even put myself in his shoes and thought about him. He felt my calmness and kindness, too. In cultivation, we talk about compassion. We need to be kind to others and always think about others first. I understood that the purer the compassion, the greater is its strength and others can also feel it. In cultivation, we also talk about the principle of tolerance.
Master Li said, “Forbearance is the key to improving one’s xinxing. To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Before my cultivation, I would definitely not have been able to truly be so calm.
Guided by Falun Dafa principles and teachings I have straightened out my attitude towards life and regained good health. I now speak with confidence from the bottom of my heart and know that I have truly found pureness and satisfaction in my life. I have found the meaning of life in all these achievements which I did not dare to think about before my cultivation. I am very thankful that I chose to read Zhuan Falun three years ago and start on my path of cultivation. I can still remember the image of myself in the past, struggling in the swamp all alone. It was suffocating and the future was nowhere in sight. After three years of cultivation, I am a totally new person through and through.
I am sharing my experiences before and after cultivation here in the hope that everyone can know the deep meaning of these two phrases: "Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good."
Thank you, Master! Thank you, Dafa!