(Minghui.org) I am 78 years old. When I looked back on the last six months of my cultivation, I came to a rude awakening: I had really slacked off. How did that happen? First, I did not study the Fa teachings seriously. Second, I did not pay enough attention to sending forth righteous thoughts. That allowed the old forces to take advantage of me.
Master Li Hongzhi said:
“Cultivation is extremely arduous and very serious. If you are being even a bit careless, you may stumble and become ruined at once. Therefore, one’s mind must be righteous.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I had studied this passage many times, but I did not manage to truly heed it.
In order to take me down, the old forces made me sleepy when I studied the teachings and while sitting in meditation. They made me drowsy every time I sat down.
I started to handcopy and memorize the Fa, but I still got sleepy and felt miserable. Fellow practitioners advised me to keep sending forth righteous thoughts. I did, but the situation remained unstable.
Later, I even became obsessed with ordinary TV shows. This was not a trivial problem. I even sat there for hours at a time watching TV, sometimes for several days in a row.
I knew something was wrong. Master said, “A person is like a container, and he is whatever he contains.” (“Melt Into the Fa,” Essentials for Further Advancement) I am a practitioner, so I should fill my head with nothing but the Fa. I definitely should not leave any room for messy ordinary people’s stuff. I had wasted lots of time that I should have used to study the Fa or to save people. I realized that I shouldn’t do that anymore.
But the old forces would not let me go so easily. I became attached to the plots. Sometimes I compromised and watched a little at mealtimes. However, once I watched one episode, I was temped to watch the next.
Master knew I was obsessed with it, so he gave me an obvious warning.
Master said:
“As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how you go through cultivation.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
My son went out of town for his job. My daughter-in-law was also out of town. Before she left, she told me that the bathroom doorknob was broken and that building maintenance wouldn’t be around to fix it for a few days. She told me not to lock the door or I would be stuck in there. I told her I understood.
However, the next morning, when I went to take a bath after sending forth righteous thoughts, I accidentally locked the door. I panicked and didn't know what to do. The broken knob was too small for me to grab and too tight for me to turn. I thought I could break the window and get out that way, but without the proper tools, it was impossible.
Then Master's Fa appeared in my mind: “...nothing happens by chance.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference”) This was for sure a wake-up call for me to remove my attachments.
I looked inside and found attachments to comfort, resentment, fighting, selfishness, fear, passion for my children, sentimentality towards my sister, etc. Thankfully, Master used this incident to reveal my attachments. No matter how long it takes, I will cultivate with diligence, never let up, and strive to be a true Dafa disciple.
I was tired, thirsty, and hungry. I did not have my cell phone with me and panicked, exhausted and trembling. My son wouldn't return for a week, and I had no idea when my daughter-in-law would be back.
I could not give up. I had not yet finished my mission, and there were so many people yet to be saved. I said to Master, “Master, I know I was wrong. From now on I will not watch ordinary TV anymore. I will relinquish all my attachments. I will remember that I am a Dafa disciple at all times and be strict with myself with everything. Master, please forgive me, a disappointing disciple.”
Then I tried the doorknob again, and the door opened. I felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest. I was speechless, tears running down my cheeks. I kowtowed to Master and thanked him, although no words could do justice.
Looking at my watch, it was only 11:40 and I had not missed the time to send righteous thoughts.
This experience really got my attention. Cultivation is very serious, and there is no room to let up for even the least little bit.
My son and daughter-in-law were both amazed and believe Dafa is good.
In the past, my daughter-in-law did not let me clarify the truth to my granddaughter, saying that kids were too young to understand. Nowadays, from kindergarten on up, all schoolchildren are indoctrinated with atheism as well as Party propaganda slandering Falun Gong.
Now things have changed. They’ve all witnessed the extraordinary power of Dafa and realize that it is a way to cultivate Buddhahood. My granddaughter also quit the Young Pioneers.