(Minghui.org) I used to love food and cooking tasty meals. Many women love to shop for clothes, but I loved grocery shopping and carried my own small spring scale. The merchants dared not shortchange me. I spent time at the stalls that sold frogs, squid, lobsters, chickens, and ducks. Food was the first and foremost enjoyment in my life. For this reason, I don’t know how many lives I killed, and how much karma I have accumulated
After I started to practice Falun Dafa in 2004, I stopped buying live animals, as I came to understand cultivation standards. Master said, “But suddenly ending a life, be it that of an animal or another creature, is a sizable sin and generates a lot of karma.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)
It was not easy to let go of the attachment to buying live animals, cooking and then eating them. My heart was moved when I saw frogs, squid, and lobsters in the market. But I forced myself to walk away.
Then, I couldn’t suppress my strong desire to have duck, so I asked my husband to buy one. I thought, “I haven’t eaten a chicken or a duck for a long time, and today I will finally be able to enjoy it.” Then, when I tried to cut the duck's neck, I cut my index finger. It scared me so much that I threw the knife down and called for help. My husband helped me bandage the wound.
My finger hurt so much, and the terrible pain awakened my conscience. I cried and said to Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa), “I was wrong. I will not kill again.” After that, I have stopped asking my husband to buy live animals for me to cook. But I repeatedly felt a strong desire for delicious food that made me feel uncomfortable. Over time, the feeling became weaker.
Since 2014, I no longer have a desire to eat good food. It is fine to fill my stomach with whatever food is available. I am a different person then I was before I obtained the Fa.
My husband rented a place in 1999 and started a business, which did very well. Three cousins and my sisters-in-law became our partners, and everyone expected to make a fortune. However, our relatives stole my husband’s technical documents intending to set up a factory of their own. They also tried to interfere with the relationship between my husband and me. They said, “It’s just a matter of time before you get divorced. You must deposit money in your personal account.” I believed them and started to ask my husband for money, which I deposited in the bank regardless of how my husband’s business was doing. I searched his bag and pockets, looking for money when he refused to give me any.
My husband and I quarreled and fought almost every day. Both of us felt tired and frustrated. My husband started preparing divorce papers in the spring of 2004. No matter how reluctant I was to divorce, I couldn’t save our marriage. It was sad that I didn’t see the reasons behind the divorce because I blindly followed my brothers and sisters-in-law's suggestions. I was so stupid and didn’t realize that I was wrong.
My mother died when she was 69 in July 2004, and I was about to divorce. She began practicing Falun Dafa in 1995. I witnessed her recovery from her previous illnesses after practicing Falun Dafa. She became a healthy person, was able to plant vegetables, do farm work, make clothes, and do other household chores. In the nine years of practicing Dafa, she lived a happy life. She once said: “You and your sister have to study Dafa when the persecution ends. Only by practicing Dafa can you break free from suffering and reincarnation.”
My mother’s death woke me up. I thought, “I was so crazy to have asked my husband for money all the time. I didn’t even care that we were about to be divorced. People are doomed to die. Can they take money with them? The most precious thing is life. Stop humiliating yourself.”
That was when I decided to practice Falun Dafa. I will cultivate well until I reach consummation, and return to my true self. Reincarnating one life after another is bitter and painful.” Thus, a week after my mother passed away, I started to cultivate in Dafa.
A few months after I began practicing Dafa, I let go of self-interest and gave my husband the over 100,000 yuan that I had saved. He was very touched and said that he was grateful to Master Li for educating the stubborn me. Therefore, he supports my practice of Dafa.
I follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I use them as a guideline and think about others in everything I do at all times. I decided I wouldn't harm others to advance myself anymore. At the same time, I educated my child to be a nice person and to not harm others.
Growing up, life was difficult for my mother, sister, and me. It was common for us to cook without oil, or not have rice or firewood. We often picked up wild vegetables and had no meat. The reason we were so poor was that my father did not look after the family. He lived apart from us. He would find another woman and gamble when he had money. He lived in someone else's home when he had no money and forgot about the three of us who needed food and clothes.
As a teenager, I wanted to get married, because it was bitter at home and I was barely surviving. I began working to support myself, and the family, when I was 15. I opened a corner store to sell groceries, cigarettes, and alcohol. The money was used to support my older sister so she could finish her technical secondary school. My father disappeared completely during the years my sister was at school. He reappeared after my sister started working. He was such an irresponsible person.
I had hated him since I was a child because he didn't look after his children and we suffered a lot. I also resented his infidelity and irritability toward my mother. I felt sick and disgusted when I saw him. I just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.
Then, I started to cultivate by following the Falun Dafa principles in 2004. I wanted to be a good person, and follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I knew that I shouldn't treat my father as I had in the past. I built a small residence with a kitchen and a bathroom in front of my house in 2005 and moved my father and stepmother into it. My sister and I paid their water, electricity, and other expenses. We wanted them to live well, eat well, and have good health.
I moved to a new house in 2006 and left my original two-bedroom house to my father and stepmother. My stepmother believed in Dafa and said that Dafa had made me a much, much better person. I didn't get along with them before I cultivated Dafa.
My stepmother had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital in the spring of 2017. We were told that she had to have surgery immediately, and the cost would be 30,000 yuan. I tried to call her two sons, but couldn't reach them. My stepmother was at odds with her sons and had almost no contact with them. My husband and brother-in-law put together 30,000 yuan to pay for the surgery.
My stepmother was very moved after leaving the hospital. She told her brothers and sisters that we were very nice to her when they came to see her. She told them that she was grateful to my father's two daughters and sons-in-law, who had saved her life.
Thereafter, my father and stepmother lived a quiet and peaceful life. We paid for their food, housing, living costs, and their health insurance only because we are my father’s children, even though he was irresponsible when we were young and made us suffer so much. Falun Dafa has resolved my resentment toward him and allowed me to treat him well, and be kind to my stepmother, so they can enjoy their life. They are fortunate because they have been benefiting from Dafa and enjoying the blessings of Dafa.
My husband’s younger brother did sales for my husband’s factory for about 10 years and earned several million yuan from commissions. In the winter of 2016, he opened a hotel in another province and invited all the salesmen to his new hotel, but didn’t invite my husband. In fact, everyone except my husband knew about it. My husband was greatly annoyed at his brother after hearing what he had done. He thought that he had always given him commissions and reimbursements at his own expense, yet his brother treated him unfairly.
My first thought when I heard about what happened was to be unhappy and blame his brother. But I immediately realized that I was being jealous. Then I thought to myself, “I don't want to be jealous and will eliminate it right now,” which gave me peace of mind. I persuaded my husband gently and patiently, "Don't be jealous that your brother is doing well. We should sincerely hope that he will be more and more successful. If your brother doesn't want to invite you, let it be. Don't be angry, don't be jealous. Jealousy hurts him and you, too. Get rid of it."
In the end, my husband changed his attitude about what happened. I used my understandings from studying Master's lectures to guide my own behavior and enlighten my husband, and to help resolve the conflict between the brothers.