(Minghui.org) I became a Falun Dafa practitioner at the age of 19, before July 20, 1999. I would like to share my cultivation experience with my fellow Falun Dafa practitioners and explain how I finally overcame a fatal disease over the course of five years. I sincerely hope that my experiences can benefit practitioners who are facing the test of life and death.
I suffered from gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my second child. Modern medicine has no cure for Type I diabetes so patients rely on insulin to survive. Without insulin, they may die in a matter of months or even hours.
I knew that genuine practitioners are free of illness, so retribution is a result of repaying karma. However, my body pain was so intense that I couldn’t take it and was rushed to the hospital five or six times. I was also worried that I would die at home and that people would misunderstand Dafa.
My last failed attempt to stop taking insulin was about six months ago. After suffering excruciating pain, I was rushed to the hospital. I cried to Teacher in my mind, “I cannot pass the test. I really cannot.” At that moment, I thought that I would rely on insulin for the rest of my life. I felt that I wanted to hold onto worldly things while working towards becoming divine. Even if I am able to consummate, the heavenly world that I represent will be incomplete because I did not cultivate well. How can I face the sentient beings who were destroyed because of my shortcomings?
A few days ago, I received inspiration from reading a practitioner’s sharing. Teacher gave him a new internal organ right after the old forces stole internal organs from him. I suddenly realized that Teacher could give me a healthy pancreas, too. I also recalled another sharing a few years ago, describing how Teacher replaced a practitioner’s skeleton.
I took a leap of faith and stopped taking insulin. This time, I won’t let my human thoughts sway me no matter how hard it is. I must pass the test of life and death and save the sentient beings in my world.
I told myself: “I am divine so I am free from aging, illness and death which are of the human world. I need to focus on eliminating karma.” Teacher also pointed out the same to me.
I began to feel pain after stopping insulin for ten days or so. I practiced the exercises twice daily and listened to the Fa 24 hours a day. Miraculously, the pain was less than 20% of what it had been and the symptoms were totally different. I only had diarrhea but did not vomit as I did in the past. I did not feel suffocated from a lack of oxygen, didn’t feel my organs stopping, nor did I feel aches from acid poisoning. But, my breath smelled like rotten apples and I hiccuped a lot to discharge carbon dioxide as if I drank soda. Surprisingly, I still had some strength to go downstairs. I asked my husband and three other family members to continue to go out and deliver Dafa truth-clarification booklets.
Three days later, all the symptoms disappeared but I still felt weak. After a week, I had more strength than an insulin shot gave me in the past. Since then, I knew that I passed the test of life and death under Teacher’s care.
Through this five-year-long ordeal, I enlightened that I need to resolve my xinxing issues that went unresolved for a long time, firmly believe Teacher and the Fa, and realize that I am not an ordinary person; rather, a practitioner walking towards divinity.
While facing the test of life and death, practitioners may encounter traumatic experiences. Everything in the human world is really an illusion, including the feeling of pain, bodily damage and all objects that the eyes see. The illusion is like a haunted house in a theme park to scare people. If practitioners are tempted, they are at the human level for the test, and evil can continue to persecute them.
Teacher wrote:
“...material and mental phenomena are the same in nature.” (Zhuan Falun)
In my experience, my human thoughts took over me several times during the test of life and death. I could not stand the pain in my flesh body caused by karma so I was rushed to the hospital. If I could use righteous thoughts from my divine side and mobilize the high-energy matter in my flesh body; the feeling from my human thoughts should not be able to influence me.
I benefited tremendously from memorizing and listening to the Fa. I relied on memorizing the Fa to help me endure hardship over the years. I focused on deep comprehension instead of seeking progress. I kept memorizing the Fa little by little and benefited every day.
Additionally, I listened to the Fa all day long except when I would study it, practice the exercises and eat. Whenever my brain was idle, I would listen to the Fa. I repeated the same lecture in a day so I could listen to the same contents repeatedly. I found that the effect was very good when listening to the Fa when I couldn’t fall asleep. The night was quiet, so I listened more attentively. Since I began to listen to the Fa when getting ready for bed, I am no longer sleepy in the day time nor during the fifth Falun Gong exercise of meditation. I recommend to those practitioners, who are bedridden by illness karma: listen to the Fa and immerse yourselves in the Fa 24/7.
To the fellow practitioners facing “death”: Don’t believe in the symptoms nor your external feelings. Believe in Teacher and study the Fa diligently. Your existence in the world can save many sentient beings.
Let’s work together to look inward and reduce karma. Supporting one and another, we will pass the test of life and death.