(Minghui.org) I am a new practitioner who has practiced Falun Dafa for nearly four months.
When I was young, I often recited Master's instructions on the music tape when I played beside my mom while she did the Falun Dafa exercises. As I was very young, I loved watching television but disliked watching the news, so I was not influenced by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) hate propaganda against Dafa. Although I was ignorant of what Dafa was, I still felt that it was good.
I read Zhuan Falun for the first time while I was still in elementary school. Although I already recognized all the words, I had no idea of what cultivation was. Despite this, its principles of “Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance” were already deeply rooted in my heart. Thus, when I saw content in the elementary school textbooks that slandered Dafa, I refused to accept them and tore up the books upon returning home.
I had always supported Dafa even when I did not practice it. In school, I never bullied vulnerable classmates as other kids did but instead helped them out. I was not interested in gossip and stayed away from those who liked flattering others or were rebellious. My academic performance was average, but I was always a people's person in class, and the friends I had were those who treated people kindly and honestly.
My character underwent a great change after I came to Canada to attend high school. Due to societal influences, I started playing computer games and watching anime. I often chatted about the computer games and anime plot with my classmates, and I even developed the habit of staying up all night to surf the Internet.
I always felt fatigued and did not have enough energy. In addition, I often went to my friends' houses for gatherings, where we would eat, drink, and have fun. Despite the fun, I felt empty. I later found a girlfriend but was hurt deeply when we broke up.
Watching my mother diligently making phone calls to people in China to tell them about Dafa and the persecution made me want to start practicing Dafa. One night after reading “Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference,” I had an indescribable feeling in my heart—I felt Master's Fa had awakened me.
That night, I cried a lot and kept mumbling repeatedly while lying in bed: What had I been doing all these years?
Faced with being lost in the human world for so many years and forgetting my mission of saving people and my real home, I felt a sense of loss and guilt.
That night, I made up my mind to cultivate and to do the three things that Master requires so as to redeem the regret and loss of being lost in the human world for so many years.
I officially started cultivation from that night and deleted all the computer games and anime on my computer. I even sold my gaming consoles and deleted the ordinary people's music on my phone. Though I felt that this was what I should do, it still took a lot of determination for me to do it.
I still remember how the thought karma in my mind tried to stop me from uninstalling such software. However, I knew that if I did not thoroughly clean out these bad things, it would not meet the requirements of a cultivator.
While uninstalling the software, I kept reciting, “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance is good!” At that moment, I felt every cell in my body reverberating. When I made up my mind to delete all these bad things, I threw up some viscous liquid. I knew that Master was cleansing my body.
I could still remember that before I started cultivation, my mom confiscated my phone and computer to stop me from playing games. This did not change me. However, after cultivating, not only did I uninstall the games, but I could also control myself.
I will firmly reject, negate, and eliminate the thought of wanting to play the games with righteous thoughts whenever it comes up. I know that these are the interference from thought karma and outside factors, not my own thoughts. With this, I have not played computer games since that time, and I also would not watch ordinary people's videos when having meals. When I have the time, I would listen to practitioners' experience sharing articles on Minghui.org.
I underwent a great change physically and mentally after starting cultivation. Around Christmas, I went to a friend's house and saw the condition of my friends: instead of being full of vigor and vitality at their age, they were lying weakly on the couch with their eyes either staring at their phones or watching television, and they were yawning in broad daylight.
After chatting with them, I found out that they had stayed up until 4 or 5 a.m. in the morning before going to bed, and they were still talking about games, anime, and dirty things.
Thinking about it carefully, I realized that I was just like them before cultivating. I was confused and spent my spare time either looking at my phone or playing on the computer, and I often played games all night long. Although my friends and I wanted to change and knew living like that wasn't right, we didn't actually do anything about it and could not let go of those things.
After beginning cultivating, my physical strength became better with each passing day, and I was full of energy every day. I found a part-time job at the supermarket while I awaited admission to college. This job mostly consists of manual labor and doesn't require much mental work, so I would often recite, “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance is good.”
Once, when my co-workers and I unloaded five containers of goods, they felt very tired and frustrated. However, I was not tired and was even smiling without a word of complaint. One co-worker asked me, “You are always smiling. Is coming to work a very happy thing for you?”
During the course of cultivation, most of my tribulations and xinxing tests have come from internal interference.
I can still remember when I first started cultivating again that the thought karma was very strong, and games and anime plots would often pop into my head. To reject them, I would sometimes hug my head and roll around the bed in pain. Later, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate them whenever they appeared. My main consciousness would stay alert at every moment; if there was a thought that was not in accordance with the Fa, I would send forth righteous thoughts and not allow it to live in my mind for even a second.
This lasted for a few weeks before my mind became clearer. Although the bad thoughts sometimes resurface, they are already very weak and will disappear instantly when my main consciousness is a little stronger.
I did not really feel anything when I sat in the lotus position for half an hour. However, it was very hard to make a breakthrough when sitting for one hour. In the beginning, when I was able to practice for one hour, my legs would shake badly, followed by my whole body. So, I used a scarf to tie up my legs to stop them from shaking and sliding down.
I refused to untie them despite the pain and would think of Master bearing tremendous hardships for us when it became too painful. I would feel that what I suffered was nothing and that I thus did not deserve to put down my legs.
This continued for about a month before my legs stopped shaking, although it was still very painful and I became very irritated. However, as long as I remember Master's words, “Nothing is truly unbearable or impossible” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun), I would be able to pass the test each time.
When I first started making phone calls on the RTC platform, I still did not have a good understanding of the facts on Dafa. I knew that the Tiananmen Square self-immolation incident was a hoax but did not know the details. In the beginning, I would learn from the training manual for beginners that my mom had. The scripts inside were easy to learn, and the basic facts had already been included.
I had the heart of wanting to save people badly, but I felt anxious whenever I made phone calls and would read the scripts loudly while my hands and voice shook. The answer rate and talk time were thus not very satisfactory.
Later, my mom told me that I should talk gently, not loudly, and the other party would still be able to hear it. I tried for a long time but could not do it, as my mind would become blank whenever the phone started ringing.
This situation gradually improved under the encouragement from practitioners in the training room and under Master's strengthening; I would speak softer and would not be so anxious or agitated. Moreover, I realized that I had to read up on the facts about Dafa as I knew too little of it. So I read many truth-clarification materials on Minghui Radio and the scripts on the website for quitting the CCP. The information on these websites was very helpful in aiding me to write a script.
I benefited greatly from attending a training session for beginners presented by a practitioner. I had access to many materials and also learned many ways to express myself on the phone, such as using data or economic phenomena to clarify the truth. Although I still use the script, my ability to give clear and convincing answers has clearly improved.
My xinxing has also elevated by making phone calls. For example, will I be moved when people swear at me? Will I have negative emotions when no one answers?
I was initially moved by ordinary people and developed an attachment to fear. I felt very heavy whenever I dialed a phone number. However, I understood that, regardless of the sentient beings' attitude, my responsibility is to clarify the truth. Later, another practitioner also encouraged me, saying, “Just talk and don't think too much.”
Unexpectedly, people started listening for longer after I changed my mentality.
I underwent a big change in these four months of cultivation. Thank you, compassionate Master, for scooping me up from hell, cleansing me, and giving me the chance to cultivate and save sentient beings. It is hard to express my gratefulness to Master, and the only thing that I can do is to diligently do the three things well.
However, there are areas in which I still have not done well, such as not calming down to study the Fa, failing to completely achieve tranquility when doing the exercises, losing focus when sending forth righteous thoughts, having trouble waking up every time to send forth righteous thoughts during midnight, and not being compassionate when making phone calls to save sentient beings.
Moreover, I still have attachments to lust, comfort, resentment, and selfishness. I will continue to work hard and be diligent, overcome my shortcomings, and rectify myself.
Thank you, Master!Thank you, fellow practitioners!