(Minghui.org) I would like to share my recent process and enlightenment from memorizing Master's article, “The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be.”
I felt that my soul was stirred after reading the article. However, that feeling faded with time and the study of Master's other writings, and my desire of wanting to be diligent even disappeared. Thus, I thought that if I memorized this Fa, it would leave a deeper impression.
However, the fear of hardship surfaced, and I didn't want to memorize it. On second thought, I thought that the more I didn't want to memorize it, the more I should do it, as not wanting to memorize the Fa developed from human notions and attachments; they obstruct because the Fa will show their true colors and eliminate them. Moreover, I should continue cultivating despite the difficulties.
Master said,
“A person has many tests to overcome in the course of cultivation, one reason being, from the time of birth on, a person ceaselessly forms notions of every sort as he comes to an understanding of human society, and attachments result. Because human society is a place in which suffering goes hand-in-hand with enjoyment, life does abound with suffering, however wealthy you may be or however high your status. Because pain is hard on people, they try to, consciously or unconsciously, ward off suffering in hopes of leading a more pleasant life. And so it is that in the pursuit of happiness people form ideas about how to avoid harm, how to live well, how to get ahead in society and achieve fame and success, how to acquire more for themselves, how to come out on top, and so on. To this end, as they gain experience people come to form notions about life; and those experiences, in turn, come to fortify these notions as people live out their lives.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
I didn't feel any improvement after memorizing the above paragraph and realized that I should not memorize the Fa for the sake of memorizing it. I should assimilate to the Fa instead.
I started using the Fa to look within. I asked myself which of my thoughts were the human notions that Master talked about. I recalled that I surfed the Internet a lot in June when renovating my house. I was searching for advice on how to deal with every aspect of the renovation to ensure that I would not be duped by contractors and to make the results perfect. My notion of not wanting to be cheated caused me to waste a lot of time.
Another human notion was wanting a more relaxed life. When I felt tired after taking care of my child, I started thinking that I should move back to my parents' house. With three adults taking care of one child, I could relax more.
I also wanted to earn more money. I thought that I should not teach on a one-to-one basis, but rather teach a class so I could earn more money. However, this is the thought of a person who wants to move up and pursue fame and gain.
While memorizing the Fa, I felt that I was studying the Fa every day. Even though memorizing a paragraph took a long time, I could understand the broadness and profoundness of the Fa. After repeatedly memorizing and reciting this Fa, I experienced the process of how human notions are formed. When some thoughts appeared in my mind, I understood that they were notions and could separate my true self from the notions.
Master said,
“This phenomenon indicates that Fa-rectification and Dafa disciples’ cultivation are in their final stages. And yet a small number of students—veteran students, even—have to differing degrees exhibited a despondent state and slackened in their resolve to be diligent. They haven’t realized that this is an attachment to the duration of Fa-rectification, or is caused by interference from incorrect, acquired notions, which results in their gaps being exploited by interfering factors that the old forces left behind early on in the surface of the human dimension, wicked specters, or rotten demons—things that have magnified and strengthened those attachments and human notions—all of which has brought about this despondent state.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
“Of course, most disciples who are in this state are that way because, at the beginning, they didn’t realize that they had subtle attachments or were being interfered with by their own notions, and so the evil has exploited this gap and magnified those factors.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
Most of the time, I had a despondent cultivation state and strong jealousy. I recalled when I was in junior high school and came back from a three-day break after New Year’s, I was secretly pleased to hear that my classmates had been playing a lot during the break while I had been studying; they would thus do worse in the test. Due to my attachment to fame and gain, I didn’t want my classmates’ achievements to exceed mine. This mentality was very distorted.
After memorizing the Fa, I understood that I originally did not have this strong jealousy. As I had treated this attachment as belonging to me, it became difficult for me to remove it. Realizing this, I suddenly had the confidence to eliminate jealousy.
Though I obtained the Fa quite some time ago, I felt that I did not believe in the Fa’s principles, as the mentality of “seeing is believing” and that of atheism have assimilated into my thoughts. I have not cherished this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of being able to obtain the Fa and a human body.
I had done the exercises only a few times since starting cultivation. After memorizing the Fa this time, I made a breakthrough and started on the path of becoming diligent.
Master said,
“I know that after you become clear on this you will quickly catch up, but you should take fewer detours on this most magnificent, divine path; not leave reason for regret in your futures; and not fall so far behind in terms of levels. That is my hope, your hope, and the hope of the beings who are counting on you.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
When reading the above Fa (before I decided to memorize it), I understood the “levels” to mean the difference between practitioners who are diligent and me. I understood it this way because I still have a competitive mentality and always wanted to compare myself to other practitioners. However, when memorizing the Fa, I understood the “levels” to mean the gap between the levels that I could cultivate to and my original level; if I am not diligent in cultivation, I would not be able to return to my original level.
Many times I wanted to give up memorizing the Fa, as I felt that it was too difficult. After deciding to continue, I was no longer in a hurry to memorize everything; instead, I read it over and over again when memorizing a sentence.
I realized that memorizing the Fa is different from memorizing an ordinary person's article or textbook. When memorizing ordinary people's writings, we would note them down and use certain memorization techniques. However, when memorizing the Fa, the Fa will remove notions and attachments before the Fa manifests itself in our mind.
Every word in Dafa has a broad, immense, and profound inner meaning. If we think that we can study more Fa by reading instead of memorizing, I think this an attachment that we should urgently remove.