(Minghui.org) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner who began to practice Dafa two years ago. My cultivation practice hasn’t been very consistent; I'm sometimes diligent and sometimes not. The most troublesome issue is my laziness when it comes to doing the meditation exercise.
Some fellow practitioners were recently complaining about xinxing tests they experienced. I can see their pursuit of profit from what they say and because they became so distressed about losing a little bit of profit. After seeing their attachments to profit, I started to reflect on myself to see if I had the same problem. However, I don’t feel I am as attached to money, material possessions, work position, and so on as I was before.
Then I looked at my cultivation state, and I was disappointed in myself. I’ve talked about doing the meditation exercise in the morning for a year, yet I always failed to get up early. I also haven't been consistently clarifying the facts about Falun Dafa by making phone calls. If I got up late, I just skipped making the calls.
When it came to ordinary things earlier in my life, like studying for school, I was good and very diligent. When I was in high school, I often studied hard. As a graduate student, I also studied until midnight to prepare for exams. Sometimes I was so stressed out that I even cried while studying. Why could I conquer my laziness then, but can’t conquer it now? After sharing my thoughts with other practitioners, I realized that the problem was that I did not truly attach enough importance to my cultivation practice.
Master said,
“We are talking so much about cultivating one’s xinxing, yet this person still behaves as usual once he is among everyday people. He thinks that the actual and tangible benefits within his reach are practical, and he will pursue them; the Fa from Teacher also sounds reasonable, but cannot be followed.” (Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood why I could conquer the difficulties when I was a student, but always felt so lazy when it came to cultivation practice. It’s because studying can yield immediate, tangible results – if I studied hard, I would pass the exam with a high score. However, cultivating in everyday life doesn't typically result in any immediate, tangible results. Therefore I slacked off, and became what Master said, “... the Fa from Teacher also sounds reasonable, but cannot be followed.” What a strong attachment I have to pursuing benefits!
Another practitioner also seemed not so diligent. After reading the Dafa book for a while, she needed to take a break and played on her phone or computer. She wasted her time like that and complained that she couldn’t focus when studying the Fa.
I told her, “It’s like everything else; if you work more, you will gain more. Studying the Fa is a kind of hardship. You always want to be comfortable and try to avoid bearing hardship. Of course you can’t focus when studying the Fa.”
What I said to her also applies to myself regarding my laziness--my not being willing to get up early to do the meditation and my wanting to stretch my legs while doing the sitting meditation.
I also have the problem of not wanting to bear hardship, and I want to pursue comfort. Master has said many times that cultivation practice includes bearing hardship. However, I always want to pursue comfort, which is the opposite of the principles of cultivation. How could I cultivate well that way?
I also realize that fellow practitioners around me are like a mirror for myself. Their attachments may appear in different ways, but their problems are oftentimes the same problems that I have. If I always look inward after seeing others’ problems, I will improve in cultivating my mind.