(Minghui.org) I was arrested at the end of 2015 and taken to a detention center. I discovered that I had let up in my cultivation and developed the attachment to comfort. On my first evening in the detention center, I said to the steel gate, “You cannot hold me!” I returned home 23 days later.
After I returned home, I suffered from severe insomnia. Because I was deprived of sleep in the detention center, my thinking was foggy. I could not send forth righteous thoughts or study Zhuan Falun with a clear mind. My entire body was so sore that it was difficult for me to walk.
When I learned that the police officer in charge of my case had extorted 1,000 yuan from my family, I got angry. I called him and demanded that he return the money, my Falun Gong books, and my computer. He answered my first call and then turned off his phone, so I sent him a string of text messages.
Gradually, my messages went from being accusatory to compassionate. In one message, I wrote:
“Mr. E, I followed the law to file a complaint against Jiang Zemin. My arrest was illegal. You then took me to a detention center, but I do not resent you. The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is responsible for all of this. The past CCP political movements, such as the Cultural Revolution, have caused all of us in China immeasurable pain! There really are no legal grounds for the persecution of Falun Gong. It's all based on Jiang Zemin's personal decision, which has harmed our country and all of us. You are still young. I hope that you can listen to your conscience and know what is right and what is wrong.
“A Nazi military officer, Schindler, saved many Jews during World War II. After the Nazis were defeated, Jews wrote many letters to save Schindler from being arrested as a war criminal..
“Mr. E, we appeal to your compassion. You need to know that, in this persecution, you are really the victim. After it is over, who will think of you? After each of the CCP's movements, many of its followers became scapegoats and were murdered by the CCP.
“Your life is precious. The persecution will soon be over. I hope you will think about your past behavior and your future. Be careful about every step you take in the future.”
In a few days, I got a call from Mr. E. He said that he had told my family to come get my computer and other personal belongings.
The Supervision Bureau then informed me that they had received my detention record from the police station and that they decided to punish me with a warning. I had just gotten a promotion. If I was given a warning, my salary increase would be canceled. Therefore, I decided to clarify the truth to them after the weekend.
Over the weekend, I could not sleep well. I felt dizzy, in pain, and hopeless. Master saw my situation, and the words, “Don't Worry” appeared in my mind. After waking up at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning, I felt sleepy and wondered if I should go to group practice or not. Just before I arrived at the practice site, I felt fine.
At Fa study, Master's words enlightened me. All the recent feelings, such as hopelessness and worry, disappeared. My righteous thoughts surfaced, and I felt that Master had arranged for me to awaken the consciences of government officials with whom I had a predestined relationship.
That afternoon, I wrote letters to the government officials and managers of the Supervision Bureau, Discipline Inspection Commission, Human Resources, Social Security Bureau, and my own company.
I wrote: “I followed the law to file a complaint against Jiang Zemin for the crimes he committed against Falun Gong. The pertinent government department should investigate the truth of my complaint. If the crimes are true, the government should arrest and punish him. However, not only was the complaint ignored, but I was arrested and treated as a criminal. It's unreasonable and unfair to give me a warning just because I was held, illegally, in a detention center. My arrest violated the constitution. I will hire a lawyer to fight for my basic rights.”
I delivered copies of my letter to all involved local government agencies. When I delivered the letter to the local district office, the chief officer asked me about “suing Jiang.” I explained that it involved filing a legal complaint against Jiang Zemin. He read my letter in detail.
Several days later, my manager said, “Let me tell you the good news. Your 'warning' was canceled. Your promotion and salary increase will not be canceled.”
I had a serious shortcoming – I disliked people who were against the Fa. I also disliked others, especially practitioners, who were irrational or who had enlightened on an evil path. I thought they were unreasonable and always tried to avoid them. When they irritated me, I got really angry.
Many Chinese practitioners were affected by the CCP's indoctrination. Because of stubborn attachments, the conflicts between practitioners can become very severe and difficult to resolve.
During the recent Chinese New Year, an elderly practitioner and I had a conflict. Her improper use of the telephone could easily expose our plans and activities to the CCP. However, she had never done anything to defame Dafa or Master, even in jail. I tried my best to help her understand how to follow the Fa in this regard, to prevent any losses from her careless behavior. However, I never gave her my home address or my telephone number. During the Chinese New Year, another practitioner brought her to my home.
I complained to the first practitioner: “Why did you bring her here? She is not rational. Don't you know that?”
After they left, I was even angrier. I cried and said to Master, “Master, how can we have the same Teacher?!”
After calming down, I started to search inward to find my attachments, which were reflected by her irrationality.
“If you, as a cultivator, only part with things superficially while deep down inside you still stick to something or cling to your own vital interests that you don’t allow to be undermined, I’d say to you that your cultivation is fake!” (Lecture at the First Conference in North America)
I found that there were many elements to my “disliking” others, such as cruelty, hatred, fear, and competitiveness. Looking deeply within, I found that my impulse to protect myself was formed in ordinary society and had become an instinctive reaction. Whenever I encountered people or things I perceived as harmful to me, I would avoid them as much as possible. If someone or something was threatening to me, I would start to fight without a second thought in order to protect myself.
“So sometimes we shouldn't "burrow into the horn's point" with strong everyday people's attachments, be unable to get out of it for a long time, and get more attached the more we think about it--the more you think about it the more your mind seethes, and the more you think about it the more demons take advantage of you.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference II)
When I found the root of my dislike and selfishness, I gradually calmed down. I remembered that, many years ago, I was severely persecuted because of another practitioner's carelessness. To avoid being persecuted again, I developed this self-protective mechanism.
But why did the elderly practitioner insist on coming to my home, even though she knew she was not welcome? On the surface, she relied on me. What attachment do I have that caused her dependence? If a practitioner cannot change his/her fundamental character, and the divinities do not demonstrate the deeper meaning of the Fa to the practitioner, how can he/she improve? If I think that my helping her is improving her, am I just building myself up? Do I really think that I am better than her? Isn't thinking of ourselves as better than others breeding demons in our minds? Shouldn't it be corrected immediately?!