(Minghui.org) I am a young female Falun Dafa practitioner. I started to study Falun Dafa in 2012, but was not diligent in practicing until December 2015.
My grandparents began to practice Falun Dafa before the persecution of it started in 1999, and I grew up watching them do the Dafa exercises. Although I was very young at the time, I believed Falun Dafa was good.
My grandmother gave me Zhuan Falun and said that it was a very precious book. When I read the book, I could not understand anything no matter how hard I studied it. My father later found the book and tore it up. Given the persecution of Falun Dafa, he became scared and did not let me practice.
I eventually forgot about the practice and became busy studying to get into a good college. In college, I strayed further away from the principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” I was attached to seeking fame and love, became more selfish and had a bad temper. However, no matter how bad the environment was or how desperate I became, I always felt there was a strength pulling me back as if there was a line that I could not cross.
After my mother was diagnosed with cancer we began to read Zhuan Falun. The plan was that I would help her study it. As I continued to read the book and got in contact with fellow practitioners, I realized the preciousness of Dafa. I was able to gradually understand things around me based on the Fa, which helped eliminate a lot of pressure and emotional pain.
I was soon admitted to a postgraduate program at a school in another city and decided to go to that school. This decision caused my cultivation to take a three-and-a-half-year detour.
The initial excitement of cultivation gradually disappeared and daily Fa study became a task. With various attachments, I could not calm down to study it. I did not know how to cultivate solidly. I was trapped in the desires of everyday people. I did not have the group environment as before where I could share experiences and compare myself to other practitioners. I wasted a lot of time.
After I graduated and went back home, my grandmother told me that many Falun Dafa practitioners had sued Jiang Zemin, the former Communist Party head who initiated the persecution of Falun Dafa. Although I had some concerns, I believed I should still file a complaint against him.
At the end of the year, three police officers came to my home. One of the officers asked whether I practice Falun Dafa. When I said I did, they ransacked my place.
I was shocked. I had only heard of the rogue acts of the police and did not know what to do. I grabbed my Dafa books and held onto them tightly. An officer said he needed one copy. I did not have strong righteous thoughts and gave him a book. He then wanted more, but I refused. He grabbed all of the books from me.
After they left, I cried and felt bad. I called home and talked to several practitioners. Their righteous support helped me overcome the ordeal. I told myself that I would cultivate solidly after that incident.
The next day I studied Falun Dafa online by using a software to break through the Internet censorship. I was able to feel the preciousness of the Fa and I could understand its principles, something I had not been able to do before. That day was a new beginning for me. I started to truly cultivate myself.
I spent 10 days studying the Fa to familiarize myself with the principles. I learned that suing communist Party officials was every Chinese citizen's right. I decided to go to the police station to get my Dafa books back.
I walked into the police station without any fear. I told them that it was illegal to ransack my home and that I wanted my books back. I thought they eventually agreed to my demand when they told me to follow them to get the books.
It was only a trick to illegally detain me in the basement. I was later taken to a cell where I heard continuous crying and anxious footsteps from other cells. I had only one thought, "Master, this is not the place I should stay. I am going home today!"
I calmed down, looked inward and sent forth righteous thoughts. I felt every cell of my body was shaking. I believed Master was by my side. In that evil environment, negative thoughts constantly tried to enter my mind. I knew that if my mind was not righteous, the bad thoughts would have been enlarged, and eventually control me.
I realized the current situation could change and that I would only follow Master Li's (the founder) arrangement.
The police later transferred me to a detention center. I requested to see the person in charge and told him that the ransacking was illegal. The police did not have a search warrant and I had the right to ask for my personal belongings back.
I waited for a long time before I was taken out of the detention center and into a police car. I was thrilled and thought I was safe. I then learned that they had to go back to the police station to get the missing document. My heart sank and my legs began to shake out of fear. I strengthened my righteous thoughts and all fear in me disappeared.
In the car, a young female officer said that my life will be ruined if I get detained at the detention center. I would not be able to find a good job since I would have a criminal record. I was calm and was not moved by her words and told her that I would be released today. She gave me a thumbs up. I knew that it was a test for me.
I left the police station at around midnight. My heart was filled with gratitude. Without Master's protection, I could not have done it by myself.
It was hard for me to talk to people face-to-face about Dafa. I decided to make a breakthrough in early 2017.
I went out with fellow practitioners to talk to people about Falun Dafa. Some were happy to learn the facts, while others tested our hearts with their harsh words and disapproving stares.
One time, two girls became fearful and left before we even talked about Dafa. I was so disappointed and upset that I went home. When I got home, I opened a package that had just arrived. There was a small gold strip with the words “Never Give Up” on it. I realized that it was a sign to give me encouragement.
It happened quite often that I would miss the opportunity to talk to people about Falun Dafa. I was upset at my failures and felt hopeless. I could not hold back my tears and started crying on the street. I continued to cry at home. I knew the importance of clarifying the truth to awaken people, but I was unable to break through my attachment. It was too difficult!
I went with other practitioners to learn from them. Gradually, I was able to calmly talk to people. I was even able to help several people quit the Chinese Communist Party.
A few days later I wanted to talk to a man, but he kept ignoring me. Yet, he would come near me when I spoke to others about the practice. One day, I approached him and he said, "Do you know what my job is? I am in charge of catching people like you."
He showed me his ID card. I became a little nervous, but still said, “I know that you are only trying to protect me.” He said, “You are like my child, go home.”
On the way back home, I realized I still had the attachment to fear as I looked at the surveillance cameras everywhere on the street.
I realized that I still had the attachment to comfort and needed to be more diligent in making the best use of my time to be a solid practitioner with a pure heart to awaken more people to the goodness of Dafa.