(Minghui.org) I am a new Falun Dafa practitioner. The thought of “death” often preoccupied my mind before I started practicing. I was tormented by illnesses, severely addicted to video games, and immersed in pursuing fame, self-interest, and sentimentality.
Sometimes, I went to the top of our office building with the desire to end my life by jumping off. I once dreamt that after dying, my spirit would still be playing video games. Life seemed hopeless.
When I had reached the depths of despair, Master Li saved me from hell by helping me to obtain the universal Fa and to truly understand the meaning of life.
It was Dafa that had completely changed me from someone who was very negative and often went to extremes, to becoming a practitioner who holds himself to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
For Master's saving grace, my gratitude is beyond any description. On the occasion of May 13, World Falun Dafa Day, I would like to share my story to encourage people to be aware of the many traps in today's society and truly understand that Falun Dafa is wonderful!
I was born in the 80s. When I started going to school, cartoon movies were booming. It was how I killed time. Later on, I often frequented video game arcades without telling my parents. By the time I was in junior high school, I had become addicted to computer games.
My home was far from school, so I left home early and got to class very late every day. I would go to the Internet cafe or the game arcade instead. When I was short of cash, I just stole from my parents. Nobody knew that I got to class late because I'd been to the arcade; it had nothing to do with living far from school.
During my on-campus residence in senior high, I often went somewhere to play games all night. Though I spent less time playing games than when I was in junior high, I did not put my heart into studying and ended up failing exams.
My parents had to use their connections to bribe the school so I could be admitted to a university. There were three majors for me to choose from. To get my parents to pay for an expensive computer, I decided to go for a computer science major. I went from playing games in secret to playing openly. In my last two years, I hardly went to class and just spent a lot of time playing games in my dormitory.
After I started working, I had an income and was in control of my spare time. I only fell deeper into my addiction. I often went to the game store to gamble. In the three years before I started practicing Dafa, it cost me roughly 40,000 yuan to invest in one computer game.
I used my salary to play games in secret without my wife knowing about it. When I used up my salary, I began to use credit cards. I tried many ways to cover the cost of playing games. As a result, after working for eight years, I had very little savings.
I spent my time playing games every single day. I played at work and at home. On the weekends or holidays, I got together with my friends and went to the Internet cafe to play games. I would spend the whole day there and leave my family behind. When my family asked me to come home, turn off the computer, or to come for dinner, I often told them that I would be there soon.
Then I would just ignore them. I only stopped when I was completely exhausted. I called my arcade friends to talk about games non-stop. Games became my whole world. I had very little time for anything else.
Both my wife and father were very angry with me. I had completely lost myself. No matter how much my family tried to persuade me, nothing could change me.
My sense of right and wrong went out the window, and my health deteriorated. Now, thinking back, I see that my behavior was way below that of an average person.
I went from being very fit to being plagued with illness symptoms. I had hair loss and became nearsighted. I often did not urinate for a long time, which resulted in a full bladder, prostate pain, and acne. My lower back, neck, and head hurt, and a bulge developed between my third and fourth cervical vertebrae. As a result, I could not sit or stand up straight. I looked older than someone my age!
Persuaded by my mother, I began to read Falun Dafa books.
I had an ECG in preparation for an operation on my hemorrhoids. My heartbeat was irregular, but I ignored the result and went ahead with the surgery. It turned out to be a small procedure, but, afterward, I lost strength in both legs, and the muscles in my legs became big bulges.
I was recuperating on the couch when a fellow practitioner came to visit my mother. She invited my mother and sister to attend a local experience sharing conference for young practitioners. The seat was reserved for my younger sister, but she did not want to go.
Seeing my condition, the practitioner suggested that my mother take me instead. Initially, I did not want to go, but they insisted and, in the end, I felt obligated to go. When I was climbing upstairs to the meeting room, I had to take a break every other step, even with someone assisting me.
I saw many young practitioners I did not know and sat in a corner to watch Master Li's Lectures in Guangzhou. Even now I can still vividly recall this!
I knew beforehand that Dafa was great and that my mother had benefited immensely from it when all her illnesses were healed. Our family lived in harmony, and she hoped that I would obtain the Fa as well.
However, I had been educated to be atheist and was interfered with by my addiction to computer games, so I could not understand Master's Fa principles. I did not grasp the meaning of cultivation and raising one's xinxing. I was suspicious of Dafa and did not fully believe in Master.
But as I watched Master Li's nine-session Lecture Series in Guangzhou, the entire energy field was very compassionate and peaceful. I gradually began to understand Master's teachings, such as “Zhen-Shan-Ren is the sole criterion to discern good and bad people.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun).
I learned how to eliminate attachments and look inward. I came to understand that this was the Buddha Fa that was meant to offer salvation to everyone. My view of the world changed dramatically. My bad old notions fell apart and were replaced with a healthy view of the world.
Every day, after we finished watching Master's lecture, we got together to do the five exercises. I could not sit in the full lotus position at first, so I sat in the half-lotus position. Later, when I tried to put my leg down, another practitioner firmly encouraged me to hold onto it. We all studied the Fa, did the exercises, and shared with one another.
After a few days, I completely changed. I needed help to walk at the beginning, but then I was able to walk on my own. When I was climbing upstairs, my mother could not catch up with me. On the 8th day as the class was ending, my muscle bulges disappeared.
“This is the only remaining piece of pure land in the human world. This kind of environment can truly raise the morality of human beings and make it noble. It can turn them into good people, and it can also change very bad people and return them to their best state.” (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada, 1999)
The teachings made a deep impression on me. There is indeed no pure land in our current society. The only place one can find it is in Dafa. At our Fa-study group, there were no conflicts or fighting for self-interest, only peace and serenity.
So many practitioners I had never met before offered me a lot of help. I could share with them my confusion and troubles in day-to-day life, including work. Every one of them would sincerely offer their help and try to think from my viewpoint. It was as if they were helping me to loosen the ropes that bound my attachments to me!
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“When one’s Buddha-nature emerges, it will shake ‘the world of ten directions.’”
With Master's benevolent protection, I let go of my ego and gained a new life. I have completely eliminated my bad behavior, especially the addiction to computer games which I had played for nearly 20 years.
I noticed my hands became numb as soon as I played video games. So I understood right away that I should not play them.
Then I thought about selling my game account, but many practitioners were against my doing this. An uncle said to me, “Let me give you an analogy. If you were addicted to drugs and decided to quit, why would you sell them? Wouldn't it harm the people that bought them?”
I was stunned. He was absolutely right. I cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and should not harm others. But I had a hard time deleting the account. Each time I went to the game website to delete it, my desire to play games would rear its head. But I persisted, and with the help of some other young practitioners, I succeeded.
The computer games that used to occupy my mind did not pop up anymore. My mind became clear; the habit of playing them was completely eliminated. A friend once joked, “If you could quit the games, then I will quit eating!” It is really hard to believe, but, by virtue of cultivating Dafa, I did it!
I realized there were many things I needed to take care of in my day-to-day life. I also realized how selfish I'd been. Now I hold myself to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and spend more time with my family. When they saw how I'd changed, they were delighted.
Dafa's principles have enabled me to act in a more righteous manner. I now have good control over my future and know how to educate my child.
I stopped fighting for fame and self-interest and wholeheartedly devoted myself to being a good employee. I now help others and am tolerant when I run into conflicts. In my spare time, I even repair the company equipment, which saves my employer a lot of money.
After I learned Dafa, I also returned things that I took from my company before. They have all witnessed my positive changes.
“One practitioner works in a textile factory in X city of Shandong Province. After studying Falun Dafa, he taught other coworkers to practice. As a result, the factory has taken on a new look. He used to take home pieces of towels from the textile factory, and so did the rest of the employees. After practicing Dafa, instead of taking things home he brought back to the factory what he took home before. When others saw his actions, nobody would take things home anymore. Some employees also returned to the factory what they previously took home. This situation occurred throughout the entire factory.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I used to add in a small profit margin when my relatives and friends asked me to buy electronic equipment. After I began the practice, I realized that I should not behave the same way as before and just took the amount I had paid. When a co-worker tried to pay me to show his appreciation, I declined it. He could sense my integrity and kindness, which created an opportunity for me to save him by clarifying the facts.
While writing this article, I realized there are still many areas where I fall short and many attachments that have not been eliminated. I know that I don't yet measure up to Master's standards. However, with Dafa rooted in my heart, I will continue to strive forward diligently!
In today's society, where morality is steadily declining and full of Party culture, many young people born in the 80s and 90s have lost themselves in everyday pursuits.
They are also unaware of the persecution happening in China today. That is tragic. Practitioners should seize the time on this final leg of Fa-rectification to help them understand the truth.
(Submission to “Celebrate World Falun Dafa Day” 2018 on the Minghui website)