(Minghui.org) After listening to a story on Minghui Radio last week, I realized that I like to ridicule others. When I see a practitioner's behavior that doesn't conform to my standard or Falun Dafa's requirements, I criticize him or her sarcastically and feel superior to them.
I often like to tell crass jokes to get people's attention and feel smug about it.
I think I am smart and witty and like to play word games. Sometimes, I twist other people's words around to embarrass them. I have fun giving people nicknames and tend to blame others to protect my reputation. I also talk behind people's backs and distort facts.
My behavior does not conform to Dafa's requirements of cultivating one’s speech, and my words indicate that I have attachments to showing off, zealotry, competitiveness, and reputation.
An elderly practitioner once said that I didn't watch my language and didn't take her words seriously. I realize now that when I get emotional, my demonic nature takes over my mind and I say inappropriate things.
As soon as I saw my shortcomings, I told myself to think before I talk and to make sure my words conform to the standards of the Fa.
“The cultivation of speech that we teach refers to: that which involves one’s reputation and personal gain that cannot be given up among everyday people, that which has nothing to do with the actual work of practitioners in society, the senseless gossiping among practitioners in the same school of practice, attachments that cause one to show off, hearsay or circulating rumors, or those discussions on some social issues that one is excited about. I hold that these are all attachments of everyday people.” (Zhuan Falun)
I have felt more peaceful the last few days with fewer selfish thoughts and my ruthless temperament gone.
Two days ago, a practitioner said, “I notice you've changed quite a bit. You used to criticize others, and you wouldn't even let them explain their side of the story. Now you don't even talk that much.”
She continued, “Although your criticism was based on the Fa, you didn't consider if others could handle them. You only wanted to say what was on your mind, and your words lacked compassion. No wonder others didn't want to listen to you.”
I knew that Master was using the practitioner's mouth to point things out to me. Although I can now hold back and not say whatever is on my mind, I still have not met the Fa's standard of considering whether others can accept it.
Master has asked us to be compassionate when pointing things out to others. To reach that realm, I should put others first, let go of my selfishness, and strive to conform to a higher Fa standard. I believe I can do so.
“Dafa can strengthen even diamond, so could it be that we can't help one such individual person to improve?” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX)