(Minghui.org) I was born in 1967, and grew up in an environment where everyone of my generation was an atheist. I believed in nothing and spoke nonsense. After the persecution of Falun Dafa began, I never bothered to accept any truth clarification flyers nor made any effort to learn what Falun Dafa was about.
My sister-in-law is a Falun Dafa practitioner. She used to tell me stories about the beauty of Dafa but I hardly listened to her. I sometimes pretended to be listening out of politeness, and I didn't understand when she talked about reincarnation. I never thought about where I came from or where I would go after death. These topics were way beyond me!
One day, something happened, and my attitude was drastically changed.
On July 26, 2012, I suddenly had severe pain in my stomach, back, and abdominal area. I went to the largest hospital in my region for a test. They found that there was a large, malignant tumor, and urged me to have surgery. The doctor said that tumors were like chives -- the more you cut them, the faster they grow. He said that treatments like radiation therapy and chemotherapy wouldn't be effective because the tumor was next to my pancreas, and that the operation would be challenging as the success rate was only 3 percent. Moreover, I would likely only live up to a year after the surgery.
I was devastated! At 45, I was already facing the end of my life. My entire family was scared and distressed. My doctor then said that my blood type, B negative, was rare and hard to obtain. The hospital blood bank had no backup supply of B negative blood at all, and it would take some time to find a supply of this blood.
Not only was I enduring physical pain, I was also braving the mental torture. I felt as if I was wrapped up by the shadow of death. I couldn't eat nor sleep.
At this desperate moment, my sister-in-law visited. She said to me, “Now, only Falun Dafa and Teacher Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, can save you! From this moment on, please repeat the phrases 'Falun Dafa is good; Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.' You will be alright.”
She also gave me information pamphlets and a recording of Teacher's 9-day lecture. In the past I wouldn't have listened to her. But this time, I accepted everything. I began listening to the lectures attentively. That night, I slept soundly.
The next day, the hospital told me that they found the needed blood!
I was reborn on August 3, 2012. It was a day I would never forget. It took the doctors five hours to remove a huge tumor from my body. I truly believed that it was a blessing from Dafa. Dafa saved me! Teacher saved me!
I knew this because two relatives who were diagnosed with illness similar to mine have since passed away. They did not believe in Dafa nor accept anything from Dafa at all. I felt sorry for them.
This life and death experience has completely overturned my deeply-ingrained atheistic worldview. Through my experience, my whole family also witnessed the greatness of Falun Dafa. In turn, they were supportive of me practicing.
As soon as I was determined to practice, I read Zhuan Falun wholeheartedly. That was when I realized that this book was indeed very remarkable! But as a new practitioner, I still couldn't let go of the attachment of having my illness cured. I took medicine along with reading the Fa, and I even brought with me the herbal medicine when going to Fa study group. No one said anything.
About six months later, a veteran practitioner shared with me in a serious tone. His words made me reflect. Indeed, for an ordinary person, medicine was to suppress the illness which was caused by karma. Cultivators however were supposed to remove karma. In Zhuan Falun, Teacher said,
“To attain a healthy body and truly make progress toward high levels, you must cultivate by truly following our xinxing standard.”
I wondered, how could I have a healthy body if I took medicine and practiced cultivation at the same time? How could I reach high levels?
Although I seemed to understand this Fa principle, I found it difficult to put my understanding into practice. I continued to study the Fa and improve my xinxing. It took me a year to finally throw out all the medicine.
When I truly understood from the Fa whether to take medicine or not, naturally I didn't want to touch it at all. It isn't like what the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) said, that Falun Dafa doesn't allow their adherents to take medicine.
My Fa understanding was still very shallow. As I continued to study more, my understanding grew. One day I suddenly realized that I didn't belong here, and needed to return to my true home in heaven. I wanted to return home with Teacher. The desire was strong. Practitioners said this was a righteous thought.
Time went by quickly. It was 2016 and I had practiced cultivation for three years, understood more Fa principles, and felt that I had improved my heart-mind character. But I often felt that there was an invisible wall between me and the Fa. I didn't have a good understanding of the Fa’s inner meaning. What is Falun Dafa? I couldn't clearly explain it. I sometimes even dozed off while studying the Fa.
Ever since I had the thought of wanting to “return to my true home,” I felt that I needed to learn the Fa by heart. I wanted to recite Zhuan Falun!
As soon as this righteous thought emerged, Teacher arranged for us to form a small group to recite the Fa. So the group was formed in November 2016. We first recited one page per day. I thought to myself that it would take an entire year to recite the book at this rate! I wanted to speed up. So I told myself to recite two pages per day.
Reciting the Fa is sacred. I learned not to go by speed and not to do it casually. When I was learning the Fa, I sat in a proper position, held the book, and paid attention to every word. Teacher opened up my wisdom, and layers and layers of the inner meaning of the great Fa were shown to me.
In the past, I hardly understood sections like “The Placement of the Mysterious Pass” and “Heavenly Circuit.” But ever since I began reciting the book, I came to understand the inner meaning of those things that I should understand.
Reciting the Fa helped me improve by leaps and bounds. The speed was also faster. I have now managed to recite the entire book of Zhuan Falun several times.
Other practitioners have said that even though I am a new practitioner, since I have the righteous thoughts of wanting to recite the Fa, my wisdom has opened up, and I have been lifted up. It is indeed so. Thank you Teacher!
The process of reciting the Fa is also cultivation. Once when our small group was reciting the Fa, practitioners told me to begin with lecture two. I recited six pages fluently. Everyone praised me for a job well done. I then immediately became complacent, so I stuttered, which made me lose face. I realized the problems and eliminated the interference. I understood that showing off was disrespectful to Dafa, so I forbid myself to do so.
There are too many advantages to count when it comes to reciting the Fa. I am determined to continue the endeavor, to recite the Fa over and over again until I reach consummation.
Ever since I began reciting the Fa, my understanding of the Fa has become more rational. I feel that my cultivation state has also improved and this can be summarized in different respects.
First, I can now distinguish the true me from the fake me. At the beginning stage of my cultivation, I knew only that I wanted to be a good person. At home, I tried to consider my parents-in-law first. I prepared three meals for them, but my mother-in-law's sarcastic words, such as, “How can I be so fussy with the food? It is already done...” resulted in a strong reaction from me before. But as my understanding of the Fa grew, I was aware that the 'fake me' would be annoyed and must be eliminated, and the 'true me' would simply remain unmoved.
When I didn't hold on to my notions, my compassion would emerge. I became sympathetic with my mother-in-law and had no complaints about her. It is not easy to be a human being! I recognize that as long as we cultivate ourselves using the Fa principles, it is actually not hard to eliminate an attachment. I then remind myself that I am a Dafa disciple. When I do well in every aspect of my life, I am validating Dafa.
One day in the summer of 2016 my heart suddenly started beating extremely fast, so fast that it felt like my heart would move up to my throat and make me choke. I immediately said, “I want to validate Dafa. You can't jump like that. I am a cultivator. When you do that, it's a smear to Dafa.” My righteous thought made my heart go back to its proper place, and I no longer felt uncomfortable.
My heart started beating fast again in April 2017, and my lips turned dark purple. I said to myself, “This is not an illness. This is a tribulation to see how well I will do.” So I sent forth righteous thoughts immediately and recited “On Dafa.” At that moment, my mother-in-law walked into the room. As soon as she walked in, I jumped out of bed, and my heartbeat returned to normal.
As long as we act according to the Fa, miracles can happen!
I had a high fever one day in August 2017. In everyday society, it is very dangerous for someone who has had major surgery to have a high fever. My family tried to make me take medicine, but I refused. I knew that it was karma elimination, and just continued doing what I was supposed to do. My family was worried and got my sister-in-law to come to see me. They felt that I only listened to Falun Dafa.
Indeed, in my heart, there is only Dafa and Teacher. The next day, the fever was gone. I once again validated Dafa in front of my family.
Back in my early years of cultivation, I began clarifying the facts as soon as I recovered from the surgery. It was a simple thing to do, I thought. I was not afraid of doing it. I felt that Dafa was the great Fa that could save people. Dafa and Teacher saved my life, so I needed to clarify the facts to all those who didn't know the truth, including all of my family, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. I got them all to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
I also took part in making phone calls, preparing truth clarification materials, and distributing flyers. There were some conflicts in our small group regarding distributing flyers. Some practitioners felt that it was a waste of money and effort, as many people threw out the materials that we gave them. But I felt that even if there was only one person who read the information, our efforts would not be in vain. Don't we already know that saving a person is salvaging a big firmament? Isn't it worth it?
At this moment, I need to break through the fear of clarifying the facts to strangers face-to-face. I feel confident that once my xinxing improves, I can do it.
The surgeon once told me that I could only live up to one year after the surgery. But it has been six years now since I had the operation. Other than the mark left in my abdomen, I am a perfectly healthy person. No one would believe that six years ago I was sentenced to death. All the goodness is due to Falun Dafa, and is given to me by the greatest Teacher. I can repay Teacher by better cultivating myself and saving more people.