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Practicing Forbearance During Conflicts

March 16, 2018 |   By a Falun Gong practitioner in Shandong Province, China

(Minghui.org) Because I refused to denounce Falun Gong, I was illegally arrested by local police and was taken to a brainwashing center in September 2001. After being released, my mother-in-law didn't allow me to visit her, although I reminded her that because of Falun Gong I recovered from my illnesses and eliminated my bad temper.

As her home did not have running water, I filled her water tank from her backyard well. On my way home, I had tears in my eyes and felt that I was being wronged. I asked myself, “Are you still a cultivator?”

Master Li said:

“To endure with anger, grievance, or tears is the forbearance of an everyday person who is attached to his concerns. To endure completely without anger or grievance is the forbearance of a cultivator.” (“What is Forbearance (Ren)?” from Essentials For Further Advancement)

Remembering this opened my mind. I no longer felt sad and continued to visit my mother-in-law.

Dealing Well With Tribulations

With the purpose of healing and staying fit, I began practicing Falun Gong and within one month I recovered from all my illnesses. Besides, a large scar on my face disappeared. After reading Zhuan Falun, a book of Falun Gong teachings, I understood the true meaning of life.

I used to work in a state-run company. I got along with everyone in my husband’s and my family. After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) launched its persecution of Falun Gong, I was laid off. I was ostracized by my family because of the implication by association policy by the CCP.

Although my husband has two older brothers, his parents chose to live in our home after we married. When my father-in-law accidentally defecated in his bed, my mother-in-law threw his bed covers into the yard. I washed them without complaining, although I vomited while washing the sheet.

My father-in-law, who needed to be fed, asked that I feed him, and I never complained. My mother-in-law bad-mouthed me for using a loud voice to awaken him. My sister-in-law said that her mother would continue to bad-mouth me because I practice Falun Gong.

I said, “If I hadn’t practiced Falun Gong and your mom treated me like this again and again, do you think that I would still treat her kindly? It is the teachings of Falun Gong that taught me to be tolerant.”

My husband then also lost his job and our financial situation soon became worrisome. We were advised to rent out our spare room, which would not have affected my husband's parents. However, one of my husband’s brothers and one of his sisters told us that we could not rent out the room. We decided not to fight with them about it.

I thought, “I am a cultivator and I won’t argue with them about this.” However, not being allowed to make a decision about my own home was a painful attachment to remove.

My mother-in-law’s eldest daughter was planting vegetable farms in the countryside. Each time she visited her mom, she would bring several bundles of different vegetables. My mother-in-law always gave the worst, smallest bundle to me. I never minded and accepted them with a smile.

Passing Cultivation Tests

A few days before the 2006 New Year’s Eve, my husband and I came home with our child after being homeless for a while. We were arrested by the 610 Office staff and some policemen. Both of us were beaten in our home and fell unconscious. My husband was beaten all night long, and shocked with an electric baton, burned with cigarettes, and suffered other tortures. There was no part of his skin that wasn't injured.

We were taken to a detention center, and 10 days later to the city brainwashing center. My husband’s sisters came to the brainwashing center to see him but did not visit me. When we returned home, they were reluctant to see me and two of my husband’s siblings were planning to force me and my husband to divorce.

They made my husband a prisoner at their home and planned to send me to my parent’s home. I refused to go. One of my husband’s sisters called my older brother and told him and his wife that my practice of Falun Gong caused her younger brother to be persecuted, so they wanted us to divorce.

I knew that their behavior was a test. No matter how badly they treated me, I did not raise my voice. Eventually, I rescued my husband from their house.

When a couple was installing a door for my house my mother-in-law shouted, “Are you going to drive me out? No, I won’t leave!” My husband and I looked at each other with a smile as I knew this was another test for me to improve my character.

The couple commented that no average people could stand my mother-in-law, the way she lived in my house and treated me like that even though I had treated her so well. The man told his wife, “She is very nice because she practices Falun Gong. Maybe you can learn Falun Gong from her.”

Making a Breakthrough

The winter of 2014 arrived with a heavy snowstorm. My mother-in-law had burned her thigh and needed help. My mother was living in my city house. I had to ride back and forth between the residences to take care of the two women.

I cooked good meals, went to the supermarket to buy tasty food, and washed my mother-in-law's dirty clothes. Two weeks later, her burn healed.

One of her daughter's and her husband visited her. She told them how well I took care of her and what good food I bought for her. Her daughter was very touched, and the husband told me, “My mother-in-law said you are the best, I am convinced; I am truly convinced.”

In those years, no matter how badly I was treated by my husband’s second eldest sister, I still treated her kindly with a smiling face and good manners each time she visited her mother. My husband and I would bring our child to see her with gifts during Chinese festival days.

She knew clearly that she had not treated me kindly, so she gave my child several hundred yuan in a red envelope for Chinese New Year, seemingly to make up for her past behavior. Her husband apologized to my husband for his wife’s behavior. I knew that the great compassion and forbearance cultivated from Dafa had touched them and their whole family.

Explaining the Facts about Falun Gong

Five years ago, we were on a tight budget, so we built a house to rent out. Almost every family who rented our house agreed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. They also had local and hometown friends visit them and they all heard the truth.

My mother-in-law was sometimes frightened, but later she no longer opposed me, no matter how long I took or whom I talked to about Falun Gong.

My husband's mother was sick the year before last and had checked into four hospitals. Her sons and daughters took turns taking care of her, two of them at a time. Her two oldest daughters wanted to visit her with me because I always volunteered to clean up her waste.

Many doctors, nurses, and patients thought that I was her daughter. I told them that I was her daughter-in-law and was a Falun Gong practitioner. They said my behavior contradicted what was said about Falun Gong on TV. Many people in the patients’ room lived to listen to me and 20 people agreed to quit the CCP and its youth organizations.

My mother-in-law told me that I was the only person she could rely on after she returned home from the hospital.

She remained healthy after checking out of the hospital until months later when she suddenly said that she would pass away. Early the next morning, she died. I knew it was because she had accepted the facts about Falun Gong that she passed away without suffering.

Representing the Goodness of Falun Gong

Through my words and behavior, my husband’s family, my relatives, and our neighbors all know that Falun Gong is good.

The most stubborn person in the family was the husband of one of my husband’s sisters. Countless times I told him about the goodness of Falun Gong and gave him informational DVDs and pamphlets. He finally decided to quit the CCP.

His son works in the procuratorate office. He refused to listen to me or accept the magazines my husband periodically gave him. However, his mother told him to take them home and read each one carefully – he quit the CCP.

My nieces and nephews who accepted Falun Gong have benefited, as they developed good and prosperous businesses. One of my husband’s brother’s daughter passed a test to become an official college instructor.