(Minghui.org) I haven't always been diligent, and for a while I didn't even tell anyone that I was a practitioner, afraid that I would lower people's opinion of Falun Dafa. My mother had to keep reminding me to study the Fa. The few times I went out to distribute materials which clarified the truth, I did so because I was afraid that I wasn't doing the three things Master asked us to do. However, the entire time I trembled with fear while placing the materials on doorknobs.
Our local materials production site was sabotaged in 2005. Practitioners, including the coordinator, were arrested. That night I had a dream. In my dream, Master was sitting on a giant lotus, and several smaller lotuses were next to him. When Master called my name, I turned into a female Buddha and sat down beside him. A brilliant ray of golden light illuminated the scene.
The following morning I learned that local practitioners had been arrested. Three practitioners visited us later that day and told my mother what happened. They said we needed to establish a new site, and felt that I was the best candidate to run it. I immediately thought of my dream and realized that Master had given me a hint to coordinate producing materials!
My first thought was that Master asked for my help, and he is by my side, I will reestablish and coordinate the new site without hesitation.
Safeguarding the contents produced by a materials production site is very important. I have only used materials from the Minghui website.
Master told us in “Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference:”
“But as you know, Dafa disciples need to reach Consummation, so nothing should interfere with the form in which today's Dafa disciples validate the Fa—this is extremely critical. Don't add anything in beyond Fa-study. So you absolutely cannot circulate among Dafa disciples anything that isn't a part of Dafa itself, and you absolutely cannot disrupt Dafa disciples in any way.”
Sometimes practitioners brought interesting information they had received from out of town or from other websites, and they wanted me to make copies so they could distribute them. One practitioner brought materials which had information that was not very relevant to saving people or clarifying the truth and asked me to print them, but I declined. She went to a print shop and had copies made, but while she was distributing them she was attacked and beaten.
Another practitioner brought some DVDs about the Chinese-Japanese war. He said that other practitioners liked the information and he asked me to make copies for distribution. However, I couldn't find the DVDs on the Minghui website, and I didn't think the information was relevant to truth-clarification. So I refused.
He said, “You are too self-centered. I'm the only practitioner who still talks to you.” I thought that what I did was on the Fa and I didn't give in.
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve.”
I talked about this issue during cultivation experience sharing conferences which were held in three local areas. I suggested that we remove any non-Dafa contents on our MP3 players, stop printing or spreading any materials that were irrelevant to truth-clarification, and stop spreading information about calamities or the end of time.
A practitioner later told me, “I could tell that you were referring to so and so. Everyone knew.” Two others came to me and said, “You two (me and so and so) should have a talk and resolve your conflicts.”
I was moved at first, and felt wronged. After I calmed down, I said, “We don't have any conflicts. I simply chose to act responsibly for the Fa and fellow practitioners. I'm also being responsible for our practitioners as a group.” I didn't explain further.
During the 13 years I've run the materials site I maintained one thought, “If Master hasn't arranged a tribulation for me, then I won't have it.” My third eye is open, and I can see some of the phenomena Master described in his lectures.
I've sometimes seen or heard some things prior to a round of arrests in our area. I saw in other dimensions that the evil came after me after arresting other practitioners, but I was safe.
I looked inward when the first arrest occurred after I took over the materials site. I realized that I had been selfish. I tried not to store materials at home by producing only the quantities that practitioners asked for. I thought this would insure my own safety.
The result was that I didn't have extra materials to give practitioners when they had time to distribute them. But as soon as I produced extra materials, they became busy again and they didn't have time to distribute them. I found my selfishness and decided to start keeping some materials at home. That way, I would have materials ready when the other practitioners needed them.
When the second round of arrests happened, this time affecting several practitioners, I saw that I had been protecting myself. To protect the site and myself, I would order raw materials and then turn off my phone. Another practitioner would collect the raw materials and bring them to my home. Wasn't this protecting myself and putting other practitioners in danger? How awful this attachment was! I subsequently began to take care of both ordering and receiving the materials.
After the third set of arrests, I examined myself further and found even more deeply-hidden selfishness. I often told the others, “A practitioner who does the three things solidly is the safest.” It's true that I did the three things very seriously, but when I thought of safety, it was usually my own safety that I was concerned about.
Falun Dafa practitioners should be selfless, altruistic, and place others' interests first. As beings who have assimilated to the Fa we should place the safety of fellow practitioners first. For ourselves, I feel that we should focus on what each of us should do to be responsible for the Fa and fellow practitioners. After I came to these realizations, I decided to place fellow practitioners above myself no matter what.
I did not hide or stop my work when other practitioners were persecuted, and I have been stable and safe for the past thirteen years.
Isn't the old evil forces' goal to stop us from saving people? So, we should do even better when other practitioners are persecuted. We should do our own part well, and make up for the part lost when other practitioners are arrested. We should rescue them without compromising our efforts to save people.
We will not go along with the old forces' arrangements.
Master has spoken about compassion as well as choices. As my compassion began to expand, I've chosen to shoulder more and more responsibilities during the 13 years I've run the materials site.
I had only one copy machine in the beginning. I packed it up, along with the raw materials, when I went to work. When I returned from work I set up the machine again. I then studied the Fa or did the household chores. I also had to spend a lot of time with my child, since he was only four years old when I began running the materials site. I printed materials until 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. every night.
Even though I only printed a few materials, when I went out, I often noticed that some had been discarded. This made me sad, but then I thought, “Why am I seeing this?”
One day, as I picked up a discarded flyer I saw a scene through my third eye. After the practitioner who had handed it out placed the remaining materials into her bicycle basket, she had the thought, “I'm finally done. Now I have to go home and cook for my family.”
I then saw another scene. A practitioner was cleaning her home while she printed materials. She thought, “When the printing is finally done, I can focus on cleaning my home.”
I felt so ashamed when I saw these scenes! Yet when I printed materials, I had the same thoughts! Saving people is such a serious matter, yet I hadn't taken it seriously. I was being so irresponsible!
After I realized this, I focused on quality. I made sure that the stickers and DVD envelopes were well-made and clear. The other materials such as wraps, DVD labels, stickers, and calendars were printed in high resolution. I put my heart into making them the best I could.
Later, Master mentioned several times about extending the end time of Fa-rectification. I thought, “It's because we haven't cultivated well! The number of beings we have saved is not enough.”
Have some practitioners vowed to make materials but haven't stepped forward to help? I knew that I should shoulder more responsibility and assist with the progress of Fa-rectification.
I increased the number of printers to three. I also acquired a bulk DVD copy machine. I began making materials full time, and produced materials from 7:00 a.m to 10:30 p.m. The other practitioners distributed everything I produced.
My son was in elementary school at that time, and my ex-husband provided 500 yuan in child support every month. I didn't have cash, a job, or any savings. I didn't even have enough money to buy new socks.
Sometimes before I went to sleep, I looked at my son. Tears would well up in my eyes. Several times, I thought, “Master, I'm so tired. I cannot go on. I want to leave the materials site.” However, after doing the exercises the next day, I turned on the computer as usual and turned on the machines as usual. This was my choice and I have no regrets.
Through the years I've seen how I've descended to this universe. Through my third eye I saw the previous Earth and how I waited in the ocean. I saw that I cultivated for several thousand years on this Earth in the schools of Buddhism, Taoism, and Qimen. I saw the realms I achieved in Dafa cultivation. I knew that what I've contributed has been so little compared to what Master has given me!
I saw one day the realm where the old forces originated from, and I saw the arrangements they made for me. The arrangements ran like clockwork, like the rotating gears in a watch. When I transcended to that level, I saw the gears arranged for our area by the old forces. Each small gear was a part of a bigger gear. The nearby counties formed an even bigger gear which was linked to a gear for the entire province. Each province became a part of a national gear. Each country made up a global gear. The sets of gears rotated with great detail.
As soon as I saw how urgent it was to save people, I focused on catching up with the progress of Master's Fa-rectification. I increased my machines from three to five. Fellow practitioners have conducted large-scale distributions twice a year. Several practitioners drove to rural areas each spring. They mapped out nearby areas with GPS and didn't miss a single household.
When May 13th, World Falun Dafa Day, approached, we started producing stickers two months ahead of time. We feel that we haven't done a good job if even a single person in our city doesn't know the facts of Falun Dafa and doesn't know that May 13 is World Falun Dafa Day.
We finish distributing truth-clarification materials to rural areas and producing calendars each November, and then begin working on our local truth-clarification journal. We collaborate well on exposing local house searches, arrests, and illegal fining of practitioners.
Some practitioners and ordinary people write articles using their real names. Practitioners have written about how amazing Falun Dafa is and how their outlook on life has improved. Ordinary people wrote about the benefits they received when they acknowledged that Falun Dafa is good. These stories have shocked the evil, and as a result, our environment has been improving.
I haven't been able to be part of a Fa study group, so I started memorizing the Fa while watching the machines. At first, I could only memorize one lecture per day. When I tried to memorize more, my head became dizzy and I felt overwhelmed. Some days I've been so busy that I didn't have any time to memorize the Fa.
I had some down time last winter, so I started studying the Fa every day. I can now memorize four lectures per day. I recite the Fa whenever I assemble the journals or cut out bookmarks. I believe that in this way, the materials will carry the power of the Fa. I have melded my individual cultivation with saving people. I now feel that I'm truly saving people.
I would like to end by quoting Master's teaching, “A Reminder”:
“It is necessary for a Dafa disciple to ensure his cultivation on a daily basis, and it is the mission of a Dafa disciple to clarify the facts and save people. You cannot go without either of these as you journey toward consummation. How well you do is a reflection of whether you are diligent in your cultivation. The current state of affairs in society may change, but never will the requirements for cultivation, as they are the standards of the cosmos and the standards of Dafa.”