(Minghui.org) From childhood, I've always had to be number one in everything. At school I was the top student; at home, I was the oldest child and regarded as a role model for the younger ones; when I entered the military I was the best soldier and kept being promoted; at my workplace, I was the model employee, and rarely called in sick.
Caught up in the competitive climate of pursuing money and personal interests which pervades China, my health was destroyed.
By the time I was in my 40s, I developed several health problems. The worst were cirrhosis and migraine headaches that were so severe that I often threw up. I also had hypertension, low grade fever, arthritis, etc. Everyone knew that I was a sick person, and my husband often remarked that I never looked healthy.
My workplace was kind to me, and covered all my medical costs, no matter how expensive the treatments were. But nothing helped. I often sadly thought about all the money and reputation that I fought so hard for, which did not compensate for my endless pain. “Am I doomed to suffer from pain and sickness for the rest of my life?” I asked myself.
In 1997, my sister told me about Falun Dafa. She said, “Falun Dafa is amazing. One of my friends who was always mean to her mother-in-law began treating her parents-in-law kindly after learning this practice.”
She gave me the main book Zhuan Falun, but I didn't immediately start to practice. However, soon after I began to practice Falun Dafa all my diseases disappeared. In the last 23 years, I haven't taken any medicine. I'm now in my 70s, but I have almost no wrinkles. I walk quickly and I'm as energetic as a young woman.
Master [Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa] not only gave me health, but also taught me the meaning of life. When I began to follow the teachings, my life improved. I was able to stop pursuing fame and money. I now feel at peace and focus on cultivating myself so that I can become a better person.
Master taught us,
“Contrast that with the following view: coming to this world is like staying over at a hotel, which we quickly leave after a short stint. Yet some people are so caught up in this place that they have no interest in leaving. They have forgotten their true homes.” (Zhuan Falun)
I learned what the real purpose of our lives is. When we come here it's like checking into a hotel. Nothing in this world belongs to me. I don't pursue anything, and I will not take anything with me. Every day I strive to put down all my attachments.
I've had 2 accidents: a car accident and later I fell and injured my spine. With Master's help, I quickly recovered from both accidents. My family was amazed, and now they all believe that Dafa is extraordinary.
Although my two children do not cultivate, they respect Master. When they encounter difficulties, they ask Master for help.
When the persecution began, my children helped me make informational materials about Falun Dafa. My daughter was not afraid. When her coworker saw her making materials and jokingly said he would report her, she said, “Go ahead and call the police. I am making Falun Dafa materials, this is not the first time.”
When their friends have misunderstandings about Dafa because of the Communist Party's (CCP) propaganda, they clarify the truth. Once when I was spied on and harassed by the police, they helped me hide the materials.
Because of their positive attitude they have been protected, and here is one example.
During Christmas in 2004, my daughter and her friends went on vacation in Thailand. They survived the historic tsunami, which killed thousands of people and made headlines worldwide. Twenty minutes before the largest wave came ashore Phuket Island, my daughter and her friends left for the Phi Phi Islands by boat.
On the boat, she and her friends enjoyed the sun and beautiful scenery. They had no idea that a tsunami was traveling under the sea from Phi Phi towards Phuket, the island they just left. When they saw the ocean churning and heard about the disaster, her friends were scared. My daughter told them to say, “Falun Dafa is good.” They were frightened, but my daughter told them that they would be safe.
Had they left Phuket 20 minutes later or arrived at Phi Phi 30 minutes earlier, they would have encountered the tsunami. A few hours later when they returned to Phuket, the paradise had become a living hell. My daughter saw many victims' corpses in the hotel where they had been staying. She donated all her cash to the local residents.
All of our friends and relatives were amazed that she avoided this disaster.
It's hard to find an apartment in China these days, and people compete to get the best ones. When I retired from the military, I should have been given a free apartment according to the policy. After I filed all the paperwork, everybody assured me that my free apartment was guaranteed. In the end, however, I got nothing, whereas other people who had also served in the military got theirs. I became upset. Everyone in China knows apartments in large cities are worth millions of dollars (Editor's note: a typical 1000 sq. ft. apartment in Beijing costs 1-2 million U.S. dollars). My loss was huge.
“During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at their roots.” (“Digging Out the Roots” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
“There might be instances where something seems to be yours, and people might say so too, and you believe it is yours, when in fact it’s not and in the end it goes to someone else. From this it will be seen whether you can let it go. If you cannot, it means that you have an attachment. We use this approach to rid you of your worldly wants, for that is what’s most important.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun 2018 Translation)
After we began to cultivate, Master arranged our paths. We need to put aside our human notions and let things happen naturally. Why should I get attached to something that may not be mine? Would a hotel guest be attached to the things in his hotel room? As a practitioner, I want to improve my xinxing, cultivate well, and return to my true home with Master.
After I read the Fa intensively, I put down my attachment. When some friends mentioned my not getting an apartment they asked me how I was so easily able to let it go. They said, “You used to be so competitive. How can a clever person like you swallow such a big loss?” My heart was not moved all. Had I not practiced Falun Dafa, the old me would have made a huge fuss. Dafa has truly helped me become an altruistic person.
Master has arranged everything for us so that we can live in everyday society without worrying about our basic needs. I didn't fight for the free apartment I was entitled to, but afterward, my husband's workplace sold him an apartment at a price lower than the market price. Although it's not big, there's enough room for my whole family.
Within a short period of time, my mother and then-husband passed away. Afterward, my daughter got very sick. It felt like Master's poem, “Abundant troubles rain down together” (“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin). I followed the teachings of the Fa and kept adjusting my mindset, so I did not become upset by these tribulations.
When I chose a tomb for my husband, I told my children to find a place for one person. Many friends and relatives did not understand, because the spouse is supposed to prepare a double-place for him or herself in the future, according to tradition. But I know where I am going, so I was not moved.
On the way to the funeral, I talked to the taxi driver about Falun Dafa and convinced him to quit the Communist Party. A fellow practitioner praised me, and said, “Very few people would be able to do that under such circumstances.”
During the years my husband was sick, I was not attached to emotion. I was able to take care of him, and then I went out to clarify the truth every day. After he passed away, I did regret not spending more time with him. But when I measured my behavior with the Fa, I know I did nothing wrong. I did my best to take care of him, and I also went out to talk to people. I knew his knowing side would not complain.
However, after he passed away, it was difficult to set aside emotion. I felt lonely; I had no one to talk to; I missed him. These attachments bothered me, but with Master's help, I was able to eliminate them. The Fa-rectification is approaching the end, and every minute is precious. I have no time to feel lonely. Since I am single now I have more time to do what a Falun Dafa practitioner should do.
“The fact is, those who can’t step forward, regardless of the excuse, are concealing fear. Yet for cultivators, fear or lack thereof proves [one’s] humanity or divinity, and it is what differentiates cultivators from ordinary people. It is something that a cultivator must face, and the biggest human attachment that a cultivator must remove.” (“Study the Fa Well, and Getting Rid of Attachments is Not Hard,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress Vol. III)
My understanding is that stepping forward and validating the Fa is part of our cultivation process. My biggest issue was fear, and I knew it was because my cultivation was not solid. I knew that I needed to eliminate my fear which seemed to be more severe than other practitioners'. My friends, family, and neighbors all pressured me to stay safe and not talk to people about Dafa. But I know that Master asks us to save people so I must do it unconditionally. My journey was not easy or smooth.
At the beginning of the persecution, when I first went out to pass out flyers I was so nervous that my hands shook. Every time I went out, I only took two or three flyers with me. I was so nervous that I even twice handed out the envelopes which are used to hold cash. One time, another practitioner and I went out to hang up a banner on a hillside. When I heard the tree branches moving, I jumped into the bushes. I was covered in dirt and leaves. Looking back, my behavior was so ridiculous!
Another time I tried to tell a security guard about Falun Dafa and the persecution. He was listening, but he suddenly took out his phone and said, “Wait here.” I was scared, and ran away. While I ran, I took off my jacket and covered my head with it, hoping no one would see my face. Shouting “Master, please help me,” I ran and ran until I found a taxi.
Whenever I saw a police car, I became nervous. With Master's help, the fear never stopped me from clarifying the truth.
As the Fa-rectification moves forward, more and more evil in the other dimensions has been eliminated. With intensive Fa-study, my fear has also been reduced. From the Fa, I realized that this notion of fear does not belong to the real me. I am a Dafa disciple, a life that was created by the Fa, and what I am doing is the most sacred and the most righteous thing in the universe. What do I have to be afraid of?
Before 2012, all I did was pass out materials. In 2012, I began talking to people face to face. I usually go out and talk to people on the street every morning. It has become such a part of my daily life that if I don't go out, I feel uncomfortable, like something is missing.
I often recite Master's poems and send forth righteous thoughts on my way to talk to people.
“What's important for cultivators is righteous thoughts. When you have strong righteous thoughts, you are able to withstand anything and do anything. That's because you are a cultivator: someone who is on a divine path and who is not controlled by the factors of ordinary people or low-level principles.” (Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles)
I feel that intensive Fa-study and solid belief in the Fa and Master are my best protection. Now, I don't have any fear when I talk to people. Before, due to the fear, I only told people about Falun Dafa and the persecution and I never told them that I'm a practitioner. Now, I always tell them that I'm a practitioner, and how my family and I have benefited from the practice.
Whenever I help someone quit the CCP, I sincerely thank Master. If I fail, I look inward for my own problems.
When fellow practitioners filed lawsuits against Jiang Zemin, I had some concerns. Some attachments seemed to be impossible for me to overcome. However, after intensive Fa-study, and with fellow practitioners' encouragement, I also filed the lawsuit using my real name. Afterward, I felt at peace because I did what a practitioner should do.
My cultivation path has not been easy. It was painful to get rid of fear, to face the pressure and frustration, and to eliminate my attachments. When things got hard, I thought about pursuing comfort. Sometimes, I even envied everyday people...how comfortable they looked, enjoying themselves at parks, beaches, and tourist sites.
As soon as these thoughts surface, I immediately remind myself that this thought is not from the real me. I know that all of us face tribulations. I know that our revered Master has endured more than we will ever know. The miseries that I endured are really nothing. It is a sacred honor that I am allowed to be a Falun Dafa disciple and can help Master save people.
When the number of people withdrawing from the CCP approached 200 million, I was out of town and could not submit the list of people whom I helped to quit, so I gave my list to a local practitioner. She later told me that when she opened the website, the number was not 200 million yet, but after uploading my list, the number exceeded it. I felt very happy.
I always focus on what Master asked us to do. I live a very simple life. I cook once a week, and I organize my daily schedule. I do the five exercises every morning with practitioners all over the world. After that, I study or memorize the Fa for an hour, and then I go out to clarify the truth. At night I study and memorize the Fa again or read articles on the Minghui website.
I listen to the podcasts on Minghui.org. I recite the Fa on the way to clarify the truth. I have started memorizing Zhuan Falun for the sixth time. I have transcribed Zhuan Falun once. I have memorized Hong Yin multiple times, and I also read Master's other teachings.
When I study the Fa well, I am able to measure everything with the Fa.
Dafa disciples are only in this human world for a short time. Master is watching His disciples, and waiting for us to cultivate well so we can return to our true homes. Let us put down all the notions we've formed in the human world, eliminate all the filthy stuff, and return home with pure minds and bodies.
Thank you, Master.