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Letting Go of Oneself and Cultivating Compassion for Family

October 18, 2018 |   By a Dafa practitioner in China

(Minghui.org) I've practiced cultivation in Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong) for almost two decades. I was enlightened to one point: Family members are not only our relatives but also the sentient beings who have the most predestined relationship with us.

Home is an important venue for cultivation. It's very important for a Dafa practitioner to follow Dafa principles, discipline himself or herself strictly, and behave decently everywhere. It will not work if we behave as practitioners outside and become ordinary people when we come back home.

Selfish and Willful Before Practicing Genuine Cultivation

I was the youngest in my family. My parents and brothers took tender care of me. Such a living environment made me develop a selfish and self-willed character.

Not long after I practiced Falun Dafa, the Chinese Communist Party began to persecute Dafa. Due to my fear and shallow understanding of Dafa, my behavior didn't change much. I wasn’t guided by Dafa principles. My husband was timid, so he prevented me from doing the three things. I held resentment against him.

I didn't care enough about my son, either. When he came home and saw me reading Zhuan Falun without greeting him, he would get angry. He said, “You are busy doing things only in your circle and never care about us. You are very selfish.”

My behavior made my son misunderstand Master and Dafa and develop resentment.

Dafa Changes My Way of Thinking

Thanks to Master's arrangements, I finally got a complete set of 40 Dafa books. I started reading them as soon as I brought them home. I was focused and free of distractions while reading the books. Apart from eating and sleeping, I did almost nothing else but read attentively. One time, I finished reading three Dafa books in three consecutive days. During that time, my husband purchased groceries and cleaned the house on his own while humming cheerfully, which was rare for him before.

As I was focused on studying the Fa, Dafa principles surfaced vividly as if it was spring. I was so excited. Such a great Dafa could not be found in thousands of years. Now Master had delivered it straight into our hands. How fortunate I was! Dafa made me realize my shortcomings and how far I was from Master's requirements. I was determined to practice cultivation diligently.

Thanks to Master's protection, I participated in a Fa-study group in such a tough environment when the persecution is still going on. After sharing with other practitioners, I realized that cultivation is a very serious matter and that it is not allowed to be swayed in the slightest. I understood that I must follow Master's words in order to walk a righteous path and return home.

Master said,

“You should always be benevolent and kind to others, and consider others when doing anything. Whenever you encounter a problem, you should first consider whether others can put up with this matter or if it will hurt anyone. In doing so, there will not be any problems. Therefore, in cultivation practice you should follow a higher and higher standard for yourself.” (Zhuan Falun)

I followed Master's words and started changing my way of thinking. I no longer stubbornly defended myself; instead, I considered others first. If my husband couldn't accept something—even if it was most righteous—I didn't push it. I would do it in a different way, and I did it well. I believed that there must be a right path for me. I no longer resented him and, instead, showed him more understanding and tolerance.

My Son's Changes

Once when my son visited me, he said, “Mom, you think we don’t support you in practicing Falun Gong, right?”

“That's what I thought before, but now I think differently. Because of the CCP's persecution, you are worried and fearful every day and suffer with me, especially your father. It's not easy for you.”

My son nodded in agreement. “We will never stop you from doing your things.”

I changed my mentality and became peaceful and compassionate. I now had others in my heart in whatever I said and did. Gradually, my husband changed, too. As October 2017 approached, he said he would practice Falun Gong together with me after October. Although he hasn't practiced the complete set of exercises so far, he changed a lot physically. His heart disease, high blood fat, and kidney stones are all gone; his stubborn vitiligo is almost completely gone.

“It's really a miracle,” he said. Now he recites the nine words sincerely every day: “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.”

He also knows how to cultivate his heart. His temper is improving. He purchases fruits and incense to worship Master. He helped me purchase copy paper and plastic bags for packaging pamphlets about Dafa and the persecution. I believe that he will get better and better with the inspiration of Dafa because Falun Dafa is omnipotent.

Master said,

“Zhen Shan Ren—three sacred words have boundless Fa powersFalun Dafa is good—true thoughts alter all disasters”(“The Source of All Fa,” Hong Yin IV)

My Daughter-in-Law's Changes

Three years ago, I wrote a truth-clarification letter to my son's mother-in-law. My daughter-in-law was not happy with me because of this. Actually, she was afraid of being associated with Falun Gong, as the CCP is still persecuting Falun Gong.

She called my husband and talked about it for an hour over the phone. She asked my husband to keep a close eye on me and prevent me from going out to tell people about Falun Gong. She said they would not come to visit us anymore or allow us to meet her daughter (our granddaughter). She also said some ugly words about not taking care of us when we were old.

My husband was angry. “Fine, just don’t come back to see us. Don’t interfere in our life. When we get old, we’ll go to live in a nursing home.”

I didn't take it seriously and continued working on my three things. I was very assured in my heart. When my husband missed our granddaughter, I cooked some delicious food, and he brought it to see her.

Two months later, on his birthday, we had a reunion with my son's family at a restaurant. I was very calm and carried no dissatisfaction or resentment against my daughter-in-law, as if nothing had happened.

Master said in Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference,

“Your heart isn’t moved at all in front of those things. In the eyes of others you are good at forbearing, when in fact it’s that your heart hasn’t budged. And that is the Ren of cultivation.”

“Only when you let go of all notions and attachments will you be able to advance unimpeded on your path of cultivation.”

Now my daughter-in-law helps me cook and do housework whenever she visits us. One time she told me, “My aunt asked me, 'Why does your mother-in-law always look so young?' I said to her, 'It's because my mother-in-law has a good mentality.'”

Now she is cheerful every day, too. She knows how to consider others and tries to be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, and a good daughter-in-law.

My son, who had previously suffered synovitis, said, “My legs don’t hurt whenever I come back to my parent's home.” This says they all believe that Falun Dafa is good.

When our behavior aligns with Dafa, we ourselves are the best truth-clarification materials. My whole family of five now get along very harmoniously.

Thank you, Dafa, for warming my home. Thank you, Master!