(Minghui.org) I am a veteran Falun Gong practitioner who began the practice before the persecution started in July 1999. I have tried my best to do the three things that Master asked us to do, and I have managed to be strict with myself in every aspect of my cultivation.
However, the pain around my shoulders and neck has been there for over a decade. The pain appeared to be on and off, even when I sent righteous thoughts to eradicate it. I also looked within and became aware that I had xinxing loopholes somewhere, but I was not able to pin point this exactly. Recently, this problem has affected my hearing in both ears, and it was quite painful.
Even though we are in such an evil environment, thanks to our benevolent Master, we still have Minghui website as a platform for disciples to share cultivation experiences. After I read edition 813 of Minghui Weekly, I was struck by one of the sharing articles written by a fellow cultivator. Normally, I will start to look inward after reading a fellow cultivator’s sharing article.
This cultivator suffered from a severe toothache and it had interfered with his work and life. The pain still existed even after he had his bad tooth pulled out. Sending forth righteous thoughts did not work for him either. The pain only disappeared when he did the exercises. This cultivator was very good at bearing the hardship. He would have to do the exercises continuously four times before he could get some rest.
When he shared this with other fellow cultivators, they reminded him, “ Have you ever sent out a ‘Solemn Declaration’ [to declare null and void all actions and words that were disrespectful to Dafa] to the Minghui website after you were released from detention/prison? He then realized this loophole exploited by the evil. Once he found this loophole, he then rectified it and things went back to normal again.
Inspired by this fellow cultivator’s story, I started to look for my loophole and I indeed found it. Then I recalled everything! I was once doing the exercises with a few fellow cultivators in April 2004 and we were arrested. During that time, the 610 Office organized a so-called study session (brainwashing session) for a week. They threatened us not to do the exercises and told us to abandon cultivation practice. The police had a private conversation with me and asked me to stop the practice. At that time, I was not very clear-minded towards the Fa principles and was influenced by the evil party culture. I was cunningly using human thoughts to respond to this situation I was in.
I reasoned that I would promise them right “here and now” that I will no longer practice Falun Gong. However, I knew this was such a great practice, and I could not really stop it. I would carry on the practice at home. A momentary lapse in righteous thoughts resulted in me signing my name to a document agreeing not to practice. My memory on this faded after being so busy for so many years.
Now I have come to understand that cultivation is serious. What I did showed disrespect to Master and Dafa. Also I didn’t stand firm and I am sorry to Master and Dafa for that. After I found this loophole, my pain disappeared straight away. I had found the correct loophole. Master told us that looking inward is such a treasure. This was truly marvelous.