(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for almost 20 years. In 1997, my grandparents started practicing Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong). That summer, I stayed with my grandparents. Many people stopped by to study the Fa and do the exercises.
As more and more people showed up, my grandparents removed every piece of furniture in the living room, except for the television set, to accommodate about 20 to 30 people who went there to watch and listen to Master’s lectures on videotape.
After that, everybody would do the exercises together. I joined in as a matter of course and learned the five sets of exercises in no time.
I was looking around one evening when everybody was watching and listening to Master’s lectures. I noticed an elderly gentleman close by sitting in a lotus position. His legs must have been causing him great pain because beads of sweats showed up on his forehead and began to drip down his face, yet he was sitting perfectly still, completely absorbed.
I felt suddenly ashamed. I collected myself and tried my best to concentrate. That was the first time I paid full attention to studying the Fa, even though at eight years old, I didn’t fully comprehend the significance of that moment.
In 1999, two years later, the persecution of Falun Gong swept through the nation. The police dropped by constantly to harass my family. My uncle and aunt were arrested several times, sent to forced labor camps, and lost their good jobs. My mother cried with sadness. My father tried to persuade my grandparents to give up the practice.
I was suddenly thrown into a state of utter confusion. I didn’t understand what was happening and didn’t know what to do or how to act. Having lost my cultivation environment with no place to do the exercises and with no book to study, I became completely cut off from Falun Dafa.
A TV station one day came to my school. My classroom teacher instructed everybody to repeat some words that attacked Falun Dafa and to sign our names on a long exhibition board with words defaming Falun Dafa.
I decided I could not and definitely would not betray my belief in this wonderful practice, so I slipped away from the classroom and ran home. On the way, I was sobbing because I couldn’t understand why people would say such mean things about Dafa.
When I got home, I wanted to read Zhuan Falun but my home had been rid of all Dafa books. I looked and looked, frantically searching every drawer and nook and cranny. I was almost in the state of despair. My eyes were filled with tears. I pleaded for Master’s help.
All of a sudden, I spied something yellow on the top shelf of the bookcase. I reached up and took it down carefully. On the cover, I read three golden words "Zhuan Falun." I was so overjoyed, I wept. I held the book to my chest and thanked Master for this precious gift.
That evening, I took the book out and read it under my bed covers with a flashlight so my father wouldn’t find out.
In the heat of summer, it got very hot and stuffy under the covers, but I remembered how the elderly gentleman had sat in double lotus with sweat pouring down his face but continued to listen to Master’s lectures with full concentration. I told myself that I would do the same.
That was how I studied the Fa every day until I finished high school and left home to attend a university.
Later, many Dafa books and Master’s other writings began to show up at my grandmother’s house. I began to read them and memorized many verses from Hong Yin so I could fill my heart with Dafa on the way to and from school.
One day, my high school politics teacher used defamatory language to talk about Falun Dafa in class. I tried to clarify the truth to her but just couldn’t open my mouth.
When I got home, I wrote a truth-clarification letter and sent it to the teacher. A week later, that teacher announced in class, “A student wrote me a letter asking me not to speak badly about Falun Gong. From now on, I will not say anything bad about it.”
I took a step further and wrote to other teachers. I also wrote to my classmates. My classmates began to discuss what was in the letters.
A classmate asked me, “Did you get a Falun Gong letter? I wonder who could have written them?”
I said to her, “It doesn’t matter who wrote them. Don’t you think what it says is reasonable?”
The following day, I wrote a letter to myself. I showed it to my classmates, saying, “Come see what I got.” Then I read it out loud to the whole class.
Later still, I used the same method to forward the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklet and other Dafa materials to teachers, classmates, and myself. Then we discussed what we had all received.
When I am clarifying the truth, Master continues to grant me wisdom. I am not eloquent and generally do not talk much. However, when I am clarifying the truth, my words seem to spill out.
One day, a classmate spoke to me quietly in private, “Do you believe in Falun Gong?”
I smiled at her and said, “You figured it out.”
She answered, “I knew quite a while ago. But you must be careful, extremely careful!”
I thanked her with a joyful heart. Then I shared with her my grandparents’ amazing experiences both physically and spiritually with the Falun Gong practice. I also recited Master’s piece “On Dafa” for her.
She begged me, “Please loan me the book. I want to read it.”
Soon, she started Falun Dafa cultivation practice.
The wisdom Dafa bestowed on me kept raising my test scores. I ended up being top of the class in my last year of high school.
I tried to be helpful throughout high school. Many classmates would come to me seeking help and I would always patiently explain problems to them.
However, during the last year of high school, we were quite loaded down with homework assignments. I could barely find time for myself. Sometimes, several classmates would approach me separately with the same problem and I would find myself repeating myself over and over.
I began to get a bit annoyed, thinking, “For one little problem, I have to explain so many times to so many people. What a waste of my time!”
So, when yet another classmate came to me for help, I used some excuse to turn her down. But, I didn’t feel good. I felt I did wrong.
Master says:
“I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha Nature” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
I understood my not wanting to help, no matter for what legitimate reason, still stemmed from a heart of selfishness.
I searched out the classmate and apologized, saying, “I did wrong in not helping you. Please feel free to come to me whenever you need help. I’ll be more than happy to help.”
Before high school graduation, news spread that I had been admitted to a prestigious university. My family was very proud of me, believing it was a good thing. My hometown was all abuzz with excitement. But I eventually realized I had actually come face to face with the biggest challenge in my short life.
My high school had my academic achievement and test scores broadcasted on a banner hung up across the school entrance. The government awarded me a scholarship and held a banquet in my honor. The TV station interviewed me and asked me to share my learning experiences. Some people actually sought me out and asked for my autograph.
At the tender age of 17, to find myself suddenly placed on a pedestal of adoration, I became totally overwhelmed by the dizzy giddy feeling of fame and self-interest.
Master says:
“It was more difficult for a young person to conduct himself or herself well. Maybe you would have found this person usually very good, caring little for fame and self-interest, when he did not have many abilities in ordinary human society. Once he became well-known, fame and profit would easily interfere.”(Zhuan Falun)
I kept reminding myself not to seek name and fortune, but I couldn’t suppress the overwhelming feeling of self-congratulation and smugness upon hearing people’s praises despite the fact that I tried my best to appear humble.
Yet, I continued to feel all puffed up, believing I was better than other students.
Gradually, my Fa studies slipped and I failed to enter a tranquil state when doing the exercises. My thoughts were filled with nothing but fantasies of future and greater academic achievements.
I had always believed I could care less about fame and fortune. I was confident I was progressing well in my cultivation practice. But, faced with a real challenge, I realized I was actually in a very sorry state.
I was thrown into a quagmire of despair. I tried as best I could to fight all human notions and attachments that were dragging me down to ruination.
I finally decided I had to leave that devastating environment. I moved to another city and stayed with a relative. There I concentrated all my energy to study the Fa so as to rectify myself.
Everything finally returned to calmness and normalcy when I started at the university. There, I would generally spend my mornings in a quiet corner of the library to study the Fa.
At the university, every instructor had a personal mail box easily accessible to all students. I bought a color printer and printed Dafa materials to be distributed to all mail boxes.
There were surveillance cameras on every floor. The day before I did the distribution, I made a special trip to take a good look at the positioning of the cameras, and ascertained that if I walked from one side of the corridor with my back to the camera to get to the office where the mail boxes were located and walked from another side away from the camera, all the cameras would show would be my back.
Every time I went into action, I would continuously send forth strong righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil interference from other dimensions. Under Master’s protection, I was able to execute my mission every time without a glitch.
Very soon, all ink cartridges and printing papers were used up. I never realized producing truth clarification materials was not merely a one-time purchase but an ongoing investment. I had already exhausted my resources. I was frantic, wondering what I could do.
To my surprise, I was granted a scholarship just in the nick of time. With that unexpected but timely funding, my problem was resolved.
I thanked Master for His amazing arrangement.
One day, I read an article on the Minghui website about the brutal persecution suffered by a student attending Qinghua University. I made copies of the article and distributed them to every administrator and instructor.
Then, I collected every piece of information I could find on the Minghui website relating to persecution that had visited on the university’s teachers and students, complete with photos and illustrations, did a re-layout to produce a Qinghua University special issue, and forwarded a copy to each administrator, faculty, the student body, and all alumni.
I arrived in the United States in 2013 to further my education. The first winter, I went out with fellow practitioners to promote Shen Yun at shopping malls and deliver Shen Yun brochures door to door.
Those experiences exposed a variety of my well-hidden attachments but also helped me to temper myself and raise my xinxing.
I never liked busy activities. If I could ride, I would not walk. If I could sit, I would not stand. I liked to take things easy.
Promoting Shen Yun and selling tickets at malls required standing for long periods of time, sometimes for several hours, sometimes for a dozen. My feet would get sore and numb so that I had to walk around the ticketing booth to ease my leg muscles.
One time, I took advantage of some down time and sat down to rest for a few minutes. It was then I noticed a staff member in the coffee shop across from me standing at attention with a smile on her face ready for the next customer.
All of a sudden, I realized that was a reflection of her professional customer service training. That realization shook me awake. I stood up promptly.
I scolded myself, “Somebody could show up any second. I must be in a mental state of preparedness. An ordinary person can be conscientious about her job. I am a Dafa disciple, here to save people, shouldn’t I demonstrate a lot more seriousness, diligence, and concentrated attention?”
Delivering Shen Yun brochures door to door involved extensive and non-stop walking.
Sometimes when I felt tired and my legs were ready to give out, I would look at every elderly practitioner many years my senior walking briskly and showing no signs of fatigue.
Then I would tell myself, “There should be no thought of tiredness when your mind is on saving people. Feeling tired is a human notion. I must get out of this mental state, and I won’t feel tired.”
Sure enough, when I rectified myself and changed my mindset, I felt energized.
During my summer vacation, I became a reporter-in-training for the Epoch Times newspaper. In those few months, I felt tremendous progress in my cultivation.
Practitioners in the media are very diligent. They seize every moment. They get together every weekend to study the Fa, share experiences, and attend training.
I used to waste a lot of time on the internet, checking out ordinary people’s news items, videos, and shopping sites. Once I got online, I found it very difficult to get off. I knew it was wrong but for the longest time, I just couldn’t shake the habit.
At the Epoch Times, there was just no time to go online. I had to spend my days thinking about the articles to write, the dates they had to be turned in, what interviews to make, and so on. After a time, I realized I had stopped going online and, in fact, had not even thought about getting online. That attachment somehow resolved itself.
I graduated in 2015 and started working at the financial department of an American company in charge of daily transactions of several million dollars. I found it very difficult to adjust to such a weighty responsibility. The pressure was tremendous. There was often need to work overtime. I could find no time to do anything to save people.
A practitioner recommended that I join the RTC platform in the evenings to make truth-clarification phone calls. Evening hours in the United States are daytime hours in China. The calls can be made at home. The hours are flexible.
I agreed. The practitioner showed me the ropes with great patience. Making phone calls are often xinxing tests. When I met with persistent failure and constant rejections, I would be unsure if I could go on. The practitioner would always encourage me to give it another try and not to give up.
Last summer, a young Chinese lady showed up at my company as an intern. She found out I was Chinese also and seemed to feel a certain closeness toward me.
On her last day, she said to me, “I have been here for two months, but I haven’t even had a chance to share a meal with you.”
Somehow, what I heard was, “I’ve been here for two months, and you haven’t clarified the truth to me.”
I asked her in surprise, “What did you say?”
She repeated herself. I smiled. I knew why I heard her wrong. I knew her coming to my company as an intern was not an accident. She was there to hear the truth.
During dinner, I told her how I obtained Dafa and how practitioners are brutally persecuted in China. I explained to her why it is important to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She promptly renounced the Party and withdrew from all the Party’s affiliated organizations.
From that experience, I learned that, no matter how busy I get with my ordinary people’s job, I cannot allow myself to be sucked into it. A job environment is also an environment to save people. Every person I run into during my work hours is another target to clarify the truth to.
The department I work in is quite transient. We constantly have new staff members who work for a short period of time and then move on.
I know they are there to learn the truth and I make sure I am there for them.
Working in an ordinary people’s company, I missed having fellow practitioners around. I remembered fondly my time spent as an intern for the Epoch Times.
One day, the Epoch Times editor asked if I would be a translator and writer for Shen Yun reports. And so, I am again a participant in a media project.
In the past, I never worried about staying up late. But, for some reason, when I worked on the Shen Yun project I would feel sleepy despite attempts to drive the interference away by sending forth righteous thoughts.
One time, I felt tired while working on an assignment. I decided to lie down just for 15 minutes. However, I didn’t wake up until the next morning. I was depressed the rest of the day, even though the editor didn’t fault me but offered me comfort instead. I learned later she had stayed up all night to work on other translation pieces.
From then on, I warn myself to stay alert. If I feel tiredness coming on, I recite the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts but never lie down even for a few seconds.
Last year, my boss asked me to take the CFA exam to get qualified to become a certified financial analyst. My colleague shared with me that, on average, it takes six months of preparation and 300 hours of study to pass the CFA exam.
The next CFA exam was just three months away. I had to review the information five thick volumes. Where would I squeeze in 300 hours to study for it, especially when I had Dafa projects to work on, RTC phone calls to make, and Shen Yun to promote?
By a week before the exam, I had glanced through three of the five volumes, with two more to go. I used the last two days to finish up. The exam took six hours. I sat it out great difficulty.
A month later, the results came int. I'd passed! It was an absolute miracle!
The completely unexpected outcome made me realize something very important.
In the past when I was faced with a variety of tests and exams at the university, I had passed up many opportunities to participate in projects to save people. The tests and exams are never-ending, but opportunities to clarify the truth and save people, once lost, are lost forever.
If I place saving sentient beings as a first priority, tests, exams, and anything else in the ordinary human world will not be affected. Everything will fall into place.
Everything will happen as it should.
Our cultivation paths are all arranged by Master. We just need to walk Master’s assigned paths in accordance with Master’s wishes and requirements, ridding ourselves of all human notions and attachments, including our so-called human intelligence. The simpler and purer our minds are, the better.
This year, my company asked me to take the financial analysts exam at the second level. I thought to myself, “How come these ordinary people's exams are so neverending?”
But I realized that, no matter how busy human affairs are, I will forever have to put the three things in the forefront, and, at the same time, not get too attached to ordinary people’s affairs or their results.
Master says:
“Saving sentient beings is first and foremost. Just try to save more and more people.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX)
I missed quite a few opportunities to save people. From now on, I will strive to be more diligent and try my best to do well the three things, especially to save more and more people.
My cultivation level is limited. Please point out my inadequacies.