(Minghui.org) I am 70. I have been practicing Falun Dafa since 1997. I would like to share my experiences of looking within when I run into issues.
I was uncomfortable with a practitioner in our Fa-study group. While others were studying, he talked at will and continually interrupted others. When someone started a discussion, he took over and would talk and talk, leaving no time for others to share. When someone asked a question, he answered with his understanding.
I pointed out his issues to him multiple times, but he would not listen. Instead, he had a few heated discussions with me.
I then decided to stay away from him. I found an opportunity to take my truth clarification team out of the Fa-study group. Our truth clarification team was to go to the street to tell people about Falun Dafa and help them understand the Communist Party's persecution of it.
It was not until I studied Master's “A Congratulatory Message to the Taiwan Fa Conference” that I realized my problem.
“Cultivation is about cultivating one's heart and cultivating oneself. When there are problems, conflicts, difficulties, and unfair treatment, one is still able to search oneself and look inside, and that's real cultivation, and only then will one be able to continuously improve, walk straight on the path of cultivation, and head toward Consummation!”
I suddenly realized: Wasn't that practitioner's behavior a mirror of my own attachments? Shouldn't I look within to see why I was so annoyed by him? From the mirror I saw that I also had a show-off mentality and an attachment to competition, just in a different form.
I spent more time to study the Fa and kept sending righteous thoughts to remove these attachments.
Later my truth clarification team rejoined the Fa-study group. I started looking for that practitioner's merits instead of having negative thoughts about him. Things changed and he improved too. He started paying attention to what he said.
I had been working together with another practitioner, Miao, to tell people about Dafa since 2015. We went out every day and were never stopped by the police, even though the communist party wanted to arrest practitioners.
Another practitioner, Wei, joined us in 2016, but I didn't want to take her. I thought that she had an attachment of fear and might bring us trouble but, since Master told us to collaborate and help each other, we took her in.
Two weeks later, both practitioners were arrested during truth clarification. Though they were released shortly, Wei left our group.
Looking back, I recalled Master's words,
“(G)ood or bad comes from a person’s initial thought, and the thought at that moment can bring about different consequences.” (Lecture Four, “Improving Xinxing,” Zhuan Falun)
It was not her but, rather, my thought that her fear could bring trouble to us that actually brought trouble to them.
Then yet another practitioner, Tao, joined us. The three of us worked well.
Problems returned when practitioner Dai joined us early this year. Shortly after, practitioners Miao, Tao, and Dai were almost arrested twice.
I didn't want to take Dai at all. She was fearful and kept wondering if she was being followed. Her fear and suspicion made us start to worry, too. We then asked her not to come with us anymore.
One day after group Fa study, Dai followed us to go out to clarify the truth again.
Suddenly I came to the realization that I hadn't looked within again. I had developed a negative thought of Dai due to her fear and suspicion. I was looking outside, not inside. It's time for our team to improve ourselves!
We spent time to look within and fix our wrong thoughts. Then we invited Dai to go with us again. We helped her set up strong righteous thoughts. She had less and less fear and suspicion. One day she went out by herself. She talked to several people on the street about Dafa and helped five of them quit the Communist Party.
I have learned that cultivation is about cultivating one's self. It won't work if we focus on changing others. Only unconditional looking within and getting rid of one's own attachment is true cultivation.