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My 17-Year-Old Daughter Helps Me to Cultivate

November 26, 2017 |   By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Heilongjiang Province, China

(Minghui.org) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner but have not been cultivating myself well according to the Fa principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance. I have kept myself busy with Dafa work and I realize now that I have somewhat neglected my daughter.

My daughter is 17 years old and recently started becoming upset easily. She said to me, “Mom, you don't really love me. I don't have anyone. Others have a mother and a father, but I have no one.”

My husband was also a Falun Dafa practitioner, but passed away as a result of persecution.

I asked my daughter, “How would you like me to love you?”

“If you don't know how to love me, how can I tell you?” she replied.

I naively said to her, “But I pay for anything you want.”

“You do buy me anything I want,” she replied. “But that's not what I really care about. I need love. Do you really love me? Every time we have an argument, you always think you're right. Have you ever admitted that you were wrong, even once? I always apologize to you whenever I'm in the wrong! Do you think you have done what your cultivation asks you to do? I would say that you haven't.”

Although I believe that I had not done anything wrong to her, I didn't fight back. As a practitioner I need to be compassionate. To cultivate compassion, I must first let go of complaints and the need to find blame. I thought that my yelling at her had been for her benefit because I was disciplining her, to teach her about what's right and what's wrong.

However, my daughter said, “Mom, but what about forbearance? It's not forbearance if you yell at someone when that person is wrong. True forbearance is that you don't lose your temper when others are wrong.”

Her words were a really good reminder for me. Whatever I do, I should consider others first.

I used to complain and make excuses when I looked outward at others, but when I started looking inward I saw my mistakes and where I needed to improve, I no longer had any complaints of others.