(Minghui.org) In the Chinese language publication Dismantling the Party Culture, it is said, “Every thought and action stems from the indoctrination by the Party, generally known as ‘Party Culture.’ People are poisoned by it but can't detect it. It is very difficult to move away from that and rectify oneself.”
I began to practice Falun Gong in 1995, and I have benefited mentally and physically. The improvement of my health has also benefited my family.
However, I wasn't able to clarify the facts to people in an upright manner after Falun Gong was banned in 1999. Although I distributed information about the persecution, my mind was filled with fear.
“But do you know what a bad person is and what a good person is? If your mind is filled with hatred and malice, think about it, everyone: what kind of a being would one be? And it will show in your conduct and even in your looks, and people will see evil in you.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2014 San Francisco Fa Conference”)
Master's words made me realize that I had been immersed in the Communist Party's culture without understanding that I had been deeply poisoned. This culture has seriously hindered my improvement in cultivation.
I joined a Fa-study group in 2010 and learned how to look inward for shortcomings. I also began to eliminate the indoctrination I had imbibed for so many years. I tried to correct myself in my every word and action and immersed myself in Dafa. My xinxing then started to elevate.
I was a team leader in a caretaker company in 2010. Before the Chinese New Year, I wanted to buy some gifts for my staff as my appreciation for their hard work.
When I stepped out of my home, I saw a 100-yuan bill on the ground. I thought that it would halve my expenses for the gifts. Another cunning thought entered my mind: “I am not the one who is going to use this money and enjoy it.” Thus, I felt that my action was justified. I picked it up and put it into my pocket. I talked to my husband about it that night. He just looked at me without saying a word.
A lady bumped into my car a few days later, and the collision caused a long scratch on her car door. She claimed that I ran into her and demanded I either take her to the hospital or give her 100 yuan.
My husband told me to give the lady whatever she was asking for. But I did not listen to him. She threatened to call the police. I was a bit concerned. My husband apologized to the lady and gave her 100 yuan.
Inside the car, he told me, “You are in the wrong. It is the driver's fault in a collision with a bicycle. You also failed on the aspect of cultivation. Let me tell you that you gave back the 100 yuan you picked up the other day. Think about it!”
What he said really shocked me. I had thought that I did not have a strong attachment to self-interest or money. What had happened to me? I could hardly believe this was me! I would not have committed such an act even before I started practicing Falun Gong.
At home, I thought, “I have cultivated for so many years. What am I cultivating? I'm still beholden to the Party culture–pick up money when you see it on the ground and don't admit guilt.”
I came to realize that the Party's indoctrination was deeply hidden within me and consisted of many attachments, such as self-interest, arguing with other people without giving any ground, quibbling, and wanting recognition from others.