(Minghui.org) I attended this year's Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference in New York. To me, Master's teaching was more serious than ever before, and my heart has never felt heavier, especially when it comes to the issue of disciples not fulfilling their oaths.
Listening to Master, I felt my karma being removed piece by piece. When Master put emphasis on the duties of Falun Dafa practitioners, I suddenly felt my body in another dimension stand up and merge with an ancient deity with wings. I also had a divine instrument in the shape of a stick in my hand.
I think I was enlightened by Master's words of responsibility, and the corresponding divine side of me thus awoke.
We practitioners often talk about the responsibility of saving people and assisting Master in the Fa-rectification period during our daily Dafa work. We also share about articles from the Minghui website.
Yet after my xinxing reached another level, I realized how shallow my understanding had been. Sometimes, my words and the appropriate action did not align. I see now that I've been unable to properly position cultivation and secular life.
At the end of Shen Yun's 2016 season (and other seasons prior), I made a 180-degree turn in priorities as I moved from promoting Shen Yun to return to my secular-life activities. My being undisciplined, this has gone on year after year, and I've remained unclear about what I should do. As such, I've just followed the crowd.
I am grateful that Master has given us more opportunities to save more people. Opportunities like these can only happen because of the sacrifices Master has made. However, I have not done well in terms of fulfilling my responsibilities, due to my desire to enjoy everyday life since I left China.
I have known all along that I should place Master, Dafa, and saving sentient beings as my first priority. I've also known I should not be attached to other practitioners' actions or behaviors. Yet knowing this, I've still held strong resentment toward others, and I have not held to the very thought of cultivation and saving people as foremost.
Master pointed out that some practitioners have been looking at things with human mentalities, and that some have not regarded saving sentient beings and Dafa as the first priority.
I realized that my own mentality in this regard was exactly the root cause of my inability to progress in cultivation while promoting Shen Yun. I realized that I even distanced myself from fellow practitioners during such times. But now I recognize my problem, thanks to Master's words.
I am more clear now that the purpose of me coming to the secular world is to validate Dafa and save people—rather than enjoying everyday life. Thus was my oath and responsibility.