(Minghui.org) Master has been protecting me for the past 17 years of my cultivation journey. Throughout that time I have studied the Fa, and also looked for and found my long hidden attachments and shortcomings during times of conflict. The conflicts turned into steppingstones for my self-improvement. I wish to share with fellow practitioners two incidents that are imprinted in my mind.
A fellow practitioner told me, “Do you know that someone claimed that you lied? You'd better look within to find out why someone said that.”
I was stunned and could not imagine why anyone would make such a comment. I had been closely following the Dafa principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I would not have lied on purpose.
Then, I realized that since I started practicing Dafa, I had only been searching for my possible wrongdoings and had not gone any further.
A year later, the same practitioner said again, “A practitioner said that you had lied. You really should look within. I am telling you this only because I believe you are a genuine practitioner. I myself have not noticed that you lied, or I would have pointed it out.”
I was deeply concerned, and could not figure out why people said that about me. To discover what happened, I went about it in a systematic way. I divided my life into periods and then analyzed each period.
There was not a single issue after I took my first job to the time when I began cultivation. Before my first job, I lived with my parents. There were times when I made up a reason for doing things forbidden by my parents. Did those count? I also looked into the second half of my career until retirement. My job was to “edit” materials as a secretary. Because this kind of editing often included using words that sounded good, but did not necessarily mean anything, my colleagues gave me the nickname “editor-in-chief,” which can also mean “always fabricating.”
This must be it. I was lying for half of my life without knowing it, but I considered myself smart and became used to it. At that moment, I felt as if something attached from the rear of my head to my back was removed. I realized that Master removed the bad substance for me because I had found my attachment. I was very touched. Thank you, Master; Thank you, fellow practitioners for helping me.
This has been imprinted in my mind. Cultivation becomes more serious the longer I cultivate. Everything in our lives is arranged by Master for the purpose of getting rid of our attachments. No words are said to us randomly, rather, it is to present an opportunity for us to cultivate our hearts.
When I tried to touch the cheeks of an adorable child who was the granddaughter of a fellow practitioner, the child's mom stopped me. She asked me to wash my hands before I touched the child. The practitioner repeated the same request.
Although I did not say anything, I felt terribly embarrassed. Moreover, during the following days, I couldn't forget it no matter what I was doing, including studying the Fa and doing the exercises. It is just like what Master said,
“But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve. Accordingly, his mind cannot get over it and is still bothered by it.” (Zhuan Falun).
The other day when I was doing the exercises, the feeling of discomfort and embarrassment attacked me again. I asked myself why I couldn't let it go. Master says, “looking within is a magical tool” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference” from Teaching the Fa at the Conference IX).
I asked myself why did I want to touch the child? Was it because I was pleased by her pure eyes and soft skin? Would I want to touch an elderly person? Of course not. Was my intention related to the heart of lust? No wonder they did not want me to touch the child – my filthy attachment was hidden deeply.
Then, I learned from my daughter that parents did not like their children being touched by unfamiliar people. Apparently, I was not considerate of others.
After others pointed out my mistake, I felt rejected and embarrassed. However, as I understood the reason for the incident, I was not annoyed any more. Instead, I felt grateful to the fellow practitioner and her family who helped me get rid of my attachments.
A few days later, I shared my thoughts and feelings with the practitioner. She told me that they had forgotten the incident, so why did I remember it. I did allow such thoughts to linger too long.
When writing this article, I found more of my shortcomings. For example, when handling some Dafa work at fellow practitioners homes, I often joined them for lunch or supper. Or I even stayed at their homes for a day or two when we had a lot of topics to discuss, without considering whether I caused trouble or inconvenience to others and their families.
All of us are busy with Dafa work, I do not have the right to disturb what other practitioners have been arranged to do by Master. My behavior might seem trifle, but they indeed were serious mistakes in cultivation.
I have experienced many other incidents like the two described above. Many practitioners have noticed that conflicts could come from anybody, anywhere, and at anytime. They could arise with family members, at work, in society, and even when we are doing Dafa work. By looking within, we will be able to identify the attachments to eliminate them to better cultivate our hearts, like pulling out weeds to allow good sprouts to grow. If we don't look within, we will miss the opportunities arranged by Master for us to improve.