(Minghui.org) A problem seems to have become more noticeable among some practitioners. These practitioners consistently clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to people. However, they neglect to cultivate diligently.
During times of conflicts at home or work, they do not look inward for their own shortcomings, but instead point fingers at others. This worsens their social environments. In turn, their complaints about others escalate.
This especially is an issue with practitioners who have previously been arrested or detained. They did not look inward to find their attachments that led to their being persecuted. These practitioners still have attachments, such as hatred, being competitive, and jealousy. Such attachments creates a lot of problems for their cultivation and Fa-rectification activities.
My work environment has been quite supportive of my practicing Dafa, as I have persistently told my colleagues and supervisors about the persecution.
Another practitioner was hired almost a year ago, although most colleagues do not know that she practices Dafa. There have been some issues with her work methods and results. She does not accept constructive criticism, and insists on her way of doing things. She considers herself in the right, is very bossy and refuses to cooperate. Some colleagues even shed tears working with her. Others were afraid to communicate with her when they are of a different opinion. Furthermore, she is often late for work and always comes up with many excuses. Her behavior has resulted in an unfavorable impression among her co-workers.
I tried several times to speak with her, but failed every time. Her ego is very strong. She defends herself by criticizing others when they are of a different opinion. However, I realized that I also had such an aggressive attitude. Therefore, my effort to communicate with her usually ended up in more arguments between us.
“I knew from the beginning that this lady had the same belief as you,” said my supervisor. “Just because of this, I have been waiting for her to change. If she were an ordinary person, I would have fired her a long time ago. I have not reported her to the police, either, wanting to protect her.”
His words brought me tears. I was moved by him, an ordinary person, for his righteous thoughts about Dafa. But I also felt ashamed that an ordinary person was accommodating a Dafa practitioner.
He continued, “You sometimes are stubborn, too, but you can self-reflect. Probably you self-reflect much sooner than she does. You practitioners are all frank and straightforward. It is what people should be like. I sometimes wonder, though, whether people with your belief are all quite strong-willed.”
I told him that I was aware of my aggressiveness and strong ego, but that I wasn't among practitioners who cultivated well.
“It is like a teacher who has 1,000 students, and 998 are excellent, but 2 are not,” I said. “You have encountered these two not-so-diligent students, and your impression of the Teacher shouldn't be affected by these two students. My strong-mindedness has helped me withstand the pressure of the persecution, but it also seems to have impacted my cultivation among ordinary people in a negative way.”
He replied, “No, my understanding of your belief is not affected by such things.” I said, “You are a wise man. Probably you will enter Dafa cultivation as well.”
My colleagues are all quite supportive and kind to me and my belief, due to the power of Dafa. However, sometimes I wonder whether my colleagues would have become practitioners, had I cultivated myself better and shown my colleagues a better example of a Dafa practitioner.
Because of the supervisor's positive impression and understanding of Dafa, quite a few practitioners have been hired at my workplace over the years.
Unfortunately some practitioners were stubborn, insisted on their own opinions, argued with supervisors and colleagues about work issues, and believed they were doing the right thing to fight against authority. Not only did their behavior cause work related problems, but they also created obstacles to clarifying the truth about Dafa to ordinary people.
In my observation, this kind of practitioner usually did better in a destructive environment where various forms of persecution took place. Yet, in a good environment, where Dafa is supported, they seemed to forget about self-discipline. Sometimes, a good environment is more deluding in a way.
I was an arrogant, self-centered, and quick-tempered person before becoming a Dafa practitioner. Although these traits have lessened, I still have not completely cultivated them away.
When imprisoned in a forced labor camp several years ago, I was unable to be hot-tempered. Thinking only of the Fa and saving sentient beings, my compassion grew so strong that I only thought of saving the guards and prisoners who had been deceived by the Communist regime's propaganda.
Slowly, I was able to think about others first under any circumstance, including times when I was in great danger. I truly felt that my heart was deeply changed by Master and the Fa. When I read, “Dafa is the wisdom of the Creator.” (“On Dafa” from Zhuan Falun) I had no words to describe my astonishment, gratitude, respect, and joy towards it.
I hope other practitioners who, like me, are self-centered, aggressive, and strong-minded, will cultivate themselves truly and diligently in Dafa through looking inward to better fulfill our responsibility to save sentient beings.