(Minghui.org) My mom, who lives in China, called me and talked about some of the problems she was having living with my younger brother and his wife. She complained that they treated her unfairly. I showed sympathy, was indignant after listening to her and thought to call and reproach him. But Master Li's teaching appeared in my mind.
Master said,
“...the things that happen to ordinary people, as Buddhists put it, all have underlying causes,...” (Zhuan Falun)
So I calmed down. My mom called me again and asked me not to tell my brother what she had told me. She worried that he would be angry and this would result in increased problems for her. I got upset, because it appeared that my mom did not trust me. I told her, “Don't tell me such things any longer,” and hung up.
Then, I regretted it, because my attitude might have hurt her. The words “how can you have compassion” appeared in my mind.
Master said,
“... everything in society comes completely from emotion. If you don’t sever emotion, you won’t be able to cultivate. But if you do break out of emotion, nobody can affect you, and ordinary attachments won’t be able to sway you. What replaces it is compassion, which is more noble.” (Zhuan Falun)
There is no coincidence for a practitioner. Thus, I looked inward and recalled several things that had occurred recently. I'd had a dispute with a fellow practitioner during an experience sharing conference in Taiwan. I felt that I was misunderstood and treated unfairly. Everything I wanted to do stemmed from good intentions and was meant to bring about the best result. I could not understand why my fellow practitioner did not accept my suggestion. I was full of complaints.
Then I noted that I still wanted to compete, fend off criticism, be recognized and change others. I thought that I could handle things well and held the mentality to excel.
It was good that I looked inward for my attachments. Then I was truly grateful to the fellow practitioner and Master Li. My mom called me again and said that my sister-in-law had overheard her talking to others. In the end, after discussing things together, she and my sister-in-law were again on good terms.
This helped me understand that only when one gets rid of resentment can one feel kindness and compassion.
Master said,
“Compassion comes from a person's cultivation, and it's not something that's acted out; it comes from deep inside, and it's not something done to show others. It's something that exists eternally, and it doesn't change with the passage of time or changes in circumstances.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Washington DC Fa Conference”)
One experiences resentment in everyday life. For example, some classmate treated someone unfairly in school, the aunt of a neighbor complained to my mother that her daughter-in-law did not respect her, and I felt that my supervisor was unfair. Notions form after experiencing these things.
Master said,
“A notion, once formed, will control you for the duration of your life, influencing your thinking and even the full gamut of emotions, such as your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. It is formed postnatally. If this thing persists for some time, it will become part of a person’s thinking, melding into the brain of that person’s true self, at which point it will shape his temperament.” (“Buddha nature” in Zhuan Falun volume II)
Resentment is a barrier that blocks practitioners from having compassion. Those who complain only look at it from their own point of view and believe that they have been mistreated. This is selfish in nature, as they attempt to get recognition, validate their ego, or were hoping for sympathy from others. Those who harbor resentment generally look at things negatively.