(Minghui.org) The 13th China Fahui on Minghui.org is over. I learned a great deal from this online experience sharing conference and wanted to share my thoughts with fellow practitioners.
My greatest realization from these articles is that the essence of cultivation is looking within. The process of looking within can be very painful—almost like dissecting oneself—and I have tried my best to avoid doing it. When I had to, I would just scratch the surface and go through the motions, and I did not pay too much heed to it.
I mistakenly used sending forth righteous thoughts to get rid of attachments. Whenever I was in a tribulation, I would send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate inference and persecution. I never thought seriously about why things came about, or what kind of attachment or human emotion I needed to face and cultivate away. I only went through the formality of cultivation. One can imagine the state of my cultivation.
Listening to the article “Casting Off Fear in the Dark Den” on my way home from work, tears kept running down my cheeks. The author’s experience and courage deeply touched me. I'd had a similar encounter, but it was so long ago. I totally understood what she went through in that kind of environment. When she looked within and realized her shortcomings and mistakes, she immediately rectified herself and followed up with action. That was a very painful experience, but it not only changed her, it also changed the environment, the inmates, and the guards!
I have been slacking off and apathetic for a long time, and her article sounded like thunder and awakened me. Her righteous thoughts and actions greatly inspired me. She took her cultivation seriously, and that showed me my problem in my cultivation. I have been pursuing comfort and leisure for too long, lacking the willpower to be diligent. And to conceal my human heart, I used doing things for Dafa in place of my cultivation.
Master told us,
“Without cultivating one’s inner self and one’s xinxing, one cannot increase gong.” (Zhuan Falun)
I understood this Fa teaching, but I just did not want the hardship that goes along with it. The process was too painful and agonizing; it also takes courage and righteous thoughts to rectify oneself. I used all sorts of excuses to cover up my attachments and shortcomings. How pitiable and lamentable that was!
Master reminded us,
“What a cultivator works on is always him or herself, and even the slightest change to your human thinking amounts to an improvement and will be witnessed by divine beings.” (“A Congratulatory Letter to the Fa Conference of Europe”)
I again feel Master's compassion, encouragement, and inspiration, as well as his earnest expectations for his disciples.
That sharing article also taught me that, as a cultivator, one should always look at things from a positive perspective. As long as one can find one's shortcoming, it is all good.
The second time she had to get rid of her fear, she noticed her selfishness displayed in deceitful and crafty ways. When she realized it, she sobbed and sobbed and condemned her wicked, selfish heart. But she did not get discouraged or give up. Instead, she encouraged herself to do better the next time. That shows the firm belief and courage of a solid cultivator. As a cultivator, one shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes. The most noble thing is the courage to change and rectify oneself.
I felt that I had been lagging behind for too long, that my cultivation was not solid or diligent. Whenever I ran into a tribulation or persecution, I would go find fellow practitioners to discuss and share. I felt I have been looking outward all along.
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I have the Dafa teachings nearby, yet I do not look for answers within. Where should I find answers, then? Only when one truly calms the heart and searches within for one's attachments can one truly improve and elevate.
I was copying “Tempering One’s Heart and Will” in Hong Yin when I came to the line, “Each and every barrier must be broken through.” It made me realize the seriousness of cultivation. One cannot skip any barrier or test. That is an extremely strict requirement. One cannot glide through the test without meeting the standard.
I am grateful for the sharing articles that strengthened my cultivation confidence. I am even more grateful for Master's compassionate salvation. Any improvement and elevation all come from Master's inspiration, protection, and guidance.
From now on, I will re-energize and rebound in actual cultivation.
This is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out any shortcomings.