(Minghui.org) In the past three years of practicing Falun Dafa, I have gained a lot of understandings. With Master Li's guidance, I gradually learned how to cultivate my character. Below are some of my experiences.
I began to tell others about Falun Dafa last October. In the beginning, I had many concerns and fears. Plus, although I know Dafa is good, I did not know how to explain it to others. Master said,
“The state of things since July 20, 1999, has been completely different from that of before July 20, 1999. That is why doing the three things well is cultivation, while doing only one of the three isn't--that's how it is, and you won't be able to improve that way. So Dafa disciples must do them well.” (“Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005”)
I had only been sending forth righteous thoughts once or twice a day in the past. After being arrested for distributing Falun Dafa materials and being detained for a month, I often sent forth righteous thoughts over one hour a day. That way, my fear faded and I encountered less interference.
To learn how to tell others about Falun Dafa and the persecution in China, I printed related articles on the Minghui website, read them, and even recited part of them. In about two weeks, two or three people would quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) after I told them the facts; later it became one or two people per day. Nonetheless, seeing most people unwilling to change after I talked with them, I was frustrated.
Once when going out with some practitioners, I was impressed that they had no hesitation when telling others about Falun Dafa and they would not be selective about the types of people they spoke with. I asked myself why I could not do well like them. One reason was that I did not have strong determination. When I think further, it was because I did not fully believe in Master's Fa.
As a matter of fact, I was able to see many things in other dimensions through my celestial eye as well as previous life cycles. Why did I still have reservations and not fully believe in Master's words? Master said,
“Once humankind’s conventional mentalities form a systematic way of working and thinking, new ideas are very difficult to accept. When the truth emerges, people do not dare to accept it and instinctively reject it.” (Zhuan Falun)
In fact, it was atheism learned at school and other human notions that had blocked me.
Realizing that, I became firm in my mind that I was genuine practitioner and the outcome was surprisingly good. The following day, I talked with 11 people about Falun Dafa. It happened when I was waiting for a traffic light, on the bus, and eating out. Nine of them agreed to renounce their memberships in CCP organizations. Another one had not joined any organizations of the CCP, and the last person did not want to do so no matter what I said.
Little by little I found new ways of doing this and most people I spoke with agreed to quit the CCP organizations. Interestingly, my mind was also opened in other areas. For example, my computer skills improved dramatically and I could easily prepare truth-clarification materials. This made me understand better Master's words,
“But with Dafa disciples things should go quickly, whatever it may be. When you let go of self even more, your wisdom for validating the Fa will naturally come forth.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students”)
I heard about Falun Dafa from the internet and began studying the Fa on my own. After joining other practitioners in Fa-study, however, this situation changed.
Most practitioners in my Fa-study group are older with poor education. Some speak with a heavy dialect accent and some do not speak Mandarin at all, let alone using computers. Seeing this, I felt uncomfortable because not only was my reading slowed down during Fa-study, I had to correct their pronunciation, and help them by downloading documents and audio files from the Minghui website for them and uploading their name lists of those who had agreed to quit the CCP.
Nonetheless, I still tried to help them as much as I could. But the situation soon got more complicated. Because I am a relatively new practitioner and I often go online, two practitioners suspected me as to be spy. They also told this to other practitioners making many of them suspicious of me.
To make things worse, one practitioner in another city who I have known for two years shared with me her situation. I thought it was an easy tribulation, but she did not want to correct it, making me reluctant to talk with her further. After a while, she noticed that and told others that I was very selfish.
I was very upset and decided to stay away from them and study the Fa at home myself. Soon afterward, three older practitioners came to visit me hoping to help me and other practitioners improve together. I told them my frustration and said it was not me who caused the problem.
One of the practitioners pointed out the following passage from Master's lecture,
“The key is that Dafa disciples should do well the things you should do. But you are not even cultivating diligently, not cultivating seriously, or not really cultivating, and in the Dafa projects for saving people your human notions bring up your attachments, and you always feel resentful. What is your feeling of unfairness about?! Don’t you know what you are here to do?! Don’t you know how great your responsibility is?!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2016 New York Fa Conference”)
These words made me calm down and rethink my situation. My excuse was that I was a new practitioner so I shouldn't have to help those veteran practitioners. But in reality, I was avoiding responsibility, looking down on them, and out of selfishness, unwilling to help them at the price of delaying my own progress. This is not what a genuine practitioner should do and no wonder the practitioner in another city said I was very selfish.
I decided to let go of selfishness and, regardless what others said about me, I would follow Master's words and help other practitioners.
A practitioner who used to be suspicious of me then asked me to help her submit an article to the Minghui website. I had done this previously and it involved many tedious steps due to the internet blockade in China, and the security measures required for Minghui. Nonetheless, I spent some time working it out and that practitioner was very grateful.
When I began to practice Falun Dafa and read the section of “Loss and Gain” in Zhuan Falun, I was not sure how my cultivation path would be: If I were to give up all my material possessions, how could I survive in this world? Little by little, I gained a better understandings of this. However, when I lost my job because of the persecution, I was still very upset for a long time.
One day when reading the Fa, Master said,
“The world's people just live for and are driven by self-interest. And more than anything self-interest can make a person agonize or feel happy, but even if somebody fulfills his desires, what he gains isn't something everlasting for him, or something concrete and real. Besides, no matter how hard human beings fight for such things, it's not truly in their hands, since a person's whole life in this world was determined far in advance, and gods control every step a human being takes. No matter what a person wants, that doesn't count, though a person's pursuits can become attachments. The world's people invariably do things out of self-interest, even though they can't really achieve what they want. That's how human beings are. Regardless of whether human beings can obtain something, they will act on it, and that's human behavior.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students”)
I realized then that all my frustration and negative feelings came from the selfishness in me. The cultivation path of a Falun Dafa practitioner, to enter the new cosmos, requires me to completely discard this selfishness and elevate to a higher level.
With this new understanding, I felt refreshed and energetic, like a new person. No matter whether I was at my workplace, with my family, or working with other practitioners, I naturally have become considerate of others.
The situation around me also changed. Even when talking with people in front of the detention center, I no longer had fear or resentment. The officers at the detention center also became more supportive. One officer let me in without checking my ID and helped to check the account balance of detained practitioners.
With respect towards other practitioners and other people, I sincerely want to help them so that more sentient beings can be saved.
I need to do better as a genuine practitioner. I know I can achieve this with Master’s help.