(Minghui.org) I was born in 1999, a troubled year for China. While many people in the south still suffered the aftermath of severe flooding, the Communist regime launched a campaign more destructive than any natural disaster—persecuting the peaceful spiritual practice of Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa).
Chinese television and newspapers were suddenly awash with propaganda slandering Falun Gong. Fabricated stories and fake footage were played non-stop on TV. Police across China roamed the streets to arrest practitioners.
My mom was one of the hundreds of thousands of innocent practitioners who were arrested and detained for her belief during that time, only months after I was born. Separation has since become the recurring theme of our story.
Though limited, time with Mom is always happy and meaningful. Mom has taught me through her actions how one can live a rich life without a whole lot of money, how tenacious a person should hold on to the truth, and how hope in life comes from bearing great responsibility.
My father often said that my birth marked the beginning of our family's misery. “The suffering has been endless,” he often said. Even as a small child, I remembered him getting completely drunk and shouting late at night outside of my grandparents' apartment building, cursing Jiang Zemin, the then leader of the Chinese Communist Party, for launching the persecution that destroyed our family.
My father is not a bum or a drunk; he's very well educated and a gentle person by nature. He is very handsome—it makes me happy when people comment that I got his good looks.
I like to go through my father's pictures—he was such a happy child when he was little, always with a big grin on his face. The grin disappeared after I was born. He now looks so lonely and sad. When I was little, I never understood why he was always so sad. Nor did it occur to me that it was always just the two of us in those pictures.
I lived with my grandma and grandpa when I was little. They love me very much and did their best to give me everything other kids had. Whenever I saw other children with their moms, I would asked Grandma and Grandpa for a mother. That angered my father so much that he would yell. Grandma would quickly pull me aside, wiping tears off, and murmur, “Poor child, poor child.”
I didn't understand why she called me “poor child.” I didn't understand why other kids had moms but I didn't. My uncle, who often came to visit, told me that my mom was on a business trip far, far away and couldn't come to see me for a while.
A pretty lady came over to grandma's house one morning. She was all smiles when she saw me, but as she came closer to pick me up, tears rolled down her cheeks. I thought to myself, “Oh, she cries just like everybody in my family.” She wiped the tears off, smiled again, and said “I'm your mommy.”
“Mommy. You're my mommy? Grandma, my mom is here! I have a mom!” I was so happy. I took mom's hand and showed her my dolls and toys. When I turned around, I saw grandma, grandpa, and dad wiping tears away.
Mom took me back to our home. Though covered with dust, our home was big and beautiful. There, I had my own bedroom and my own bed. I had many pretty dresses and dolls. I never knew that I had such a wonderful home, just like all the other kids.
But this was no longer Dad's home. He lived somewhere else. I had to spend time with Mom and Dad separately. When I stayed with Mom, Dad missed me. When I stayed with Dad, I missed Mom.
I finally had Mom in my life, but some things just couldn't go back to the way they were. I still didn't have a happy family with both a mother and dad like all the other kids.
Mom didn't have a lot of money to buy me things but our days were simple and happy. She liked to read books and taught me to read Zhuan Falun. I learned that, in this world, I have a wonderful master who is spreading the great Buddha Fa. I was so happy—I had a master that most others didn't.
I liked to look at Master's pictures—he always looks at me with a loving smile. I helped Mom fold fliers with Dafa information. Mom said those fliers let people know that Falun Dafa is good and the persecution is wrong. I always put on my best dress when we went out to give out fliers.
The moon was always so round and bright, lighting our way home after distributing fliers. I rode on the back of Mom's bicycle and pretended I was a doggie and did silly barks.
Such happy times ended soon. Mom was hardly making enough money to cover our expenses. My uncle found a better job for her in a different city. Mom started commuting back and forth between two cities.
She stayed there during the week and came back to be with me on the weekends. I looked forward all week to the 10-yuan hamburger she would buy me every weekend—that was the highlight of my week.
Mom worked very hard to provide for me. She didn't make a lot but she always put aside a little to print Dafa fliers. Though things were hard, she was always very optimistic and said cheerfully, “It will get better, my child.”
I never asked her for anything. My only wish was to be able to see her every day and that she would never have to leave again.
However, come Monday morning, Mom always had to leave. She scooped me up from my warm bed before dawn so she could drop me off at Grandma's, then would catch a bus to the other city.
Mom always reminded me to listen to Grandma and Grandpa when she and I said our goodbyes. I held her tightly, cried, and asked her not to go. I asked if she was happy when she held my hands. She said, “Yes, baby. Mommy is very happy holding my baby's hands. But Mommy has to work and make money so we can be together. You and I, we both have to be strong.”
My dad's entire family blamed Mom for what happened and called her “stubborn.” Grandma would not let Mom pick me up. “Your mom can't buy you snacks or toys. Why do you want to go with her?”
Mom sometimes waited outside of Grandma's apartment building until very late only to find out that Dad took me somewhere else. She went back the next day with no complaints and just quietly stood outside, having no idea how long she'd have to wait. Grandma eventually gave in. She sighed, “Nobody can stop a mother's love in this world.”
Mom is a strong person, though one could hardly tell by her gentle ways. Money was tight for us—sometimes we couldn't even afford good food during Chinese New Year—but she never complained or even seemed to care much. We buckled down and still printed fliers and distributed them like we always did.
Grandma and Grandpa, however, were very different. Although they made good money and had everything they needed, all they talked about was money and how to make more of it. It just seemed like their lives revolved around money.
In their conversations with guests, they sometimes mentioned how my parents used to be the power couple that everybody envied and that Mom used to have a very good job before she was detained. They didn't understand why she wanted to give it all up to practice Falun Gong.
They were not the only ones. Everybody in the family, including relatives from Mom’s side, laughed at her and criticized her. They made sarcastic remarks, saying that she must have been too bored with her good life to want to practice Falun Gong.
“Who cares if Falun Gong is good or bad? What does it have to do with us?” her relatives would say to her. “The Chinese Communist Party has launched so many movements and caused so many tragedies. Who has been able to go against them and withstand the suppression? Why not focus your energy on making a good life for you and your daughter? Everyone nowadays has at least a few apartment units, a car, and some savings. Life is so short. Enjoying life is all that matters.”
Facing all the criticism, Mom would always reply nicely. “Besides responsibilities to our families and society, we also have the great responsibility to life that we have to fulfill. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is the great Buddha Fa and upholding the great Buddha Fa is everybody's responsibility in life.
“Falun Dafa is now practiced in more than 100 countries. The rest of the world has learned what a wonderful practice it is. Only the Chinese people are deceived. I am just doing my part to help people see through the Party's lies and learn the truth about Dafa,” she said.
She was ever so calm and so patient when she explained herself, hoping that others would understand what Falun Dafa truly is and what it means for everybody to fulfill life's greatest responsibility.
Her clothes seemed so plain compared to our rich relatives and friends, but her eyes sparkled with hope. With a smile, she wished everyone well in their pursuits, be it wealth or fame, but she never envied them or felt inferior because of her lack of means.
I love my mother. Being with her brings me a happiness and peace that no one else does. We didn't have a lot of things but we are rich in spirit.
I remember one year Papa, Mom's dad, had a big birthday celebration. My uncle took everybody out to an upscale restaurant and invited everybody to his new house afterward. His house is big and beautiful. My cousin showed me her room and we had such a good time running around in their new home.
Papa pulled me close at one point and asked in front of Mom if I wanted to have a good life like that. I knew what he was trying to do. After taking a moment to think, I said, “When a person is happy in their heart, she will not notice that what she eats and wears is not as nice as others.”
Grandpa was surprised to hear that—he moved his lips but didn't say a word. Mom stroke my hair gently and smiled, “Dad, please don't put us down again. What we are after is not something you'd understand and what you pursue in life is not what we want. We are happy the way we are.”
Mom is a quiet person and very independent-minded. Though she doesn't like to share her worries, I know there have been times when she felt helpless and cried a lot. But she has always been able to overcome the obstacles because of her faith and support from the good people around us.
We made friends with many other practitioners. A few of them often came to our place to read Zhuan Falun, the book of principles, and do the exercises with us. We worked together to make Dafa fliers and distributed them. They are such simple and nice people and were willing to extend a helping hand anytime we needed.
Many of them have had wonderful experiences cultivating in Dafa. One practitioner told us that she used to be illiterate before she practiced Falun Gong but now has memorized the entire book of Zhuan Falun. She said someone taught her to read in her dreams.
Their stories inspired me. Through practicing with Mom and other practitioners, I became more clearheaded and focused. Sometimes I dreamt that I rode on a dragon or a phoenix soaring in the sky. It was such a wonderful feeling.
Auntie Juan is Mom's best friend. She is a non-practitioner but very supportive of Dafa and was never afraid of associating with us. She often had long conversations with Mom and trusts her completely. While Mom was detained or working in a different city, she often visited me at Grandma's. She's like the aunt I've never had.
Auntie Juan is a successful businesswoman and uses her wealth to help others in the community. Mom often says that her support of Dafa has brought her blessings.
The persecution seemed so far away when life was in a nice rhythm and Mom always showed up to pick me at the end of the week. I never thought anything could happen to her until one summer.
Mom became very serious and seemed to have heavy thoughts on her mind. She took me to Grandma's as usual one morning, but this time I didn't see her for an entire summer. Grandma told me later that she was arrested.
My father appealed for her release at the police station, telling them that I needed her, but he was brushed aside. He cried as soon as he saw me when he got back to Grandma's, and so did Grandma and Grandpa.
That was the first time Mom was gone since I could remember. I was very confused, “Why did the police take her? She is a good person. Just because she practices Falun Gong? Why don't they like such a wonderful practice?” I didn't understand—wasn't it better for this world to have more good people? I couldn't make sense of it.
I missed my mom very much. I often hid in an alley on my way home from school and cried. I cried under the blankets late at night so Grandma couldn't hear me.
Mom finally came back at the end of summer. She had lost weight and was very weak. No matter where she went, someone followed her. My uncle told me that she was in a very dangerous situation and might get arrested again anytime. He found a job for her in a city even farther away and wanted her to leave town as soon as possible.
Mom decided to move away. Our happy twosome was no more. I went to school by myself, came home by myself, and did my homework by myself. Nobody braided my hair anymore, and nobody shared a burger with me. I only saw her every three months.
Day after day, year after year. I am now a teenager and have become somewhat used to not having Mom around. She has been living by herself all these years. She still cultivates in Dafa and continues to help others learn the facts about the persecution.
But we have good news to share. Mom has moved back to the area and is now closer to the family. We're doing much better financially and no longer struggle to make ends meet. Most importantly, our family's attitude toward Dafa has changed.
Nana, my mom's mom, had a stroke two years ago and was in critical condition. She lived, but she was paralyzed on the right side of her body. The doctor said that was the best they could do.
Papa and my uncle got her to try different things like massages and acupuncture, but nothing worked. Nana still couldn't hold chopsticks or comb her hair. She couldn't take a bath by herself and needed help getting dressed. She couldn't take care of herself, let alone do household chores or cook for Papa like she used to. The family took turns caring for her, but everybody knew that we needed a long-term solution.
Mom was the only one who didn't think it was a big deal. She said to Nana one day, “Why don't you practice Falun Gong with me? This is about all that modern medical science can do for you, but it's nothing in Dafa practice. Many practitioners had terminal illnesses and are now healthy as can be. That's why they are able to remain resolute in the practice. Dafa is probably your only hope to recover.”
Nana thought about it and said, “Maybe you're right. I have always wondered all these years why my daughter, so bright and educated, was so single-minded about Falun Gong. even when she was detained. I often compared you to others—you are tolerant, sincere and have a heart of gold. You show others kindness no matter how badly they treat you—only someone with great forbearance can do that.”
Nana started practicing Falun Gong with Mom. Surprisingly, Papa didn't say anything this time. Nana could only do a few movements at first, but she didn't give up. She took frequent breaks and with mom's help continued to practice. Gradually, she improved and was able to last a little longer each time.
A miracle happened. After Nana did all five exercises in one stretch for the first time one morning, she was pleasantly surprised that she was able to hold on to the wall and walk to the door. She was regaining control over her leg. Papa saw hope for her recovery and started to smile again.
Nana regained her mobility by doing the exercises every day that winter. She was able to care for herself again by Chinese New Year and was climbing up and down the stairs. By spring, she was going on walks with Papa.
Nana had a full recovery. She picked up all the cooking and house chores again as if nothing had happened. Now she recites “Falun Dafa is good” every day and other poems from Master Li's poetry collection. She always says, “Such good poems! Who on earth is Teacher Li? His words are so right.” Mom smiles and tells her to read the rest of Master's lectures.
Witnessing Nana's change, Papa's attitude toward Dafa also changed. He is no longer against it and now even helps Nana to stay on her exercise routine. Mom had kept a copy of Zhuan Falun for them, a special edition in traditional Chinese published before the persecution, and was happy to finally be able to give it to them. My uncle also started to understand Mom and what she's been doing all these years.
Even my grandma and grandpa, who have been heavily brainwashed by the Communist Party, are now gradually seeing that the persecution of Falun Gong is wrong. It is becoming clear to them how ridiculous communism’s atheist theories are. They, too, started to believe that there are higher beings and different realms in this world.
“Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” Mom said. “Dafa is the true Buddha Fa and will bring blessings to everyone who comes to accept it. Every practitioner has benefited from it and knows how precious it is. We witness the endless compassion of the Fa every day.”
The persecution has caused too much tragedy. Practitioners have sacrificed so much—some even lost their lives—to fulfill their responsibilities in life and uphold the great Buddha Fa. It's about time that people, especially the Chinese people, see through the Communist regime's lies. Let us work together to end the persecution and welcome back the universal values of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in our society.
I may be young but I dream big. I dream that a group of good people can quietly meditate underneath a big tree in a public park in China with expressions so peaceful and their consciences so clear.