(Minghui.org) My parents and older sister started practicing Falun Dafa many years ago, so I've seen and heard a lot of things about Falun Dafa and knew it was quite good from very early on.
My mother hoped that I would become a Dafa practitioner, too. She purchased a copy of Zhuan Falun and audiotapes and CDs of Master's Fa lectures for me, but I was too immersed in worldly things and did a lot of bad stuff.
When my older sister again encouraged me to take up the practice, she said, “It will be too late if you do not start to practice Falun Dafa right now!”
Her words awakened me. All of a sudden, I felt that I was wrapped in fear, despair, and regret. I will never forget that agonizing feeling.
That was how I started to cultivate in Dafa.
I joined group Fa study at the end of 2007. Fellow practitioners were very nice to me. I had no idea about what to do as a Dafa practitioner at the beginning, so I just followed them. As I knew, Master's fashen would follow me and take care of me as long as I was a genuine cultivator.
Fellow practitioners told me that we had to do the three things to meet Master's requirements, so I went with them to distribute informational materials and tell people the facts about Falun Dafa.
They also told me to study the Fa as much as possible to be safe while validating the Fa in dangerous circumstances. I always carried Zhuan Falun and Master's articles with me so that I could study the Fa whenever I had time, especially Master's articles. I forced myself to read the Fa even though I couldn't understand it all for the time being.
I kept busy like this, until one day I was suddenly aware of how I had changed. I became inexplicably light and full of joy. The feeling touched me deeply in my heart.
I no longer racked my brain to get promoted, cared about loss or gain, missed my family, or fretted about my kid's future. I was not afraid to keep my parents' Dafa books in my home. I no longer cared if anyone knew that I was a Dafa practitioner.
Without being aware of it, cultivating in Dafa had changed me. I thought this might be what Master meant when he said “the Fa refines practitioners.” I felt so lucky to be a Falun Dafa practitioner.
In the summer of 2008, a practitioner from another city came to live with me temporarily. I was shocked when I saw her. She had appeared in a dream about 20 years before. After that dream, I studied the people around me, looking for that face I saw in my dream.
Now she appeared before me in real life. I deeply believed that Master was helping me.
We did the five exercises, studied Zhuan Falun, and read all of Master's lectures and articles together. She asked me to recite Zhuan Falun and try to send forth righteous thoughts at the top of each hour, as she did.
She seldom chatted like ordinary people do. She was kind but serious. When I was lazy and didn't want to do the exercises, I still had to do them with her. When I went to work, she went out to distribute truth clarification materials and tell people the facts about Falun Dafa. She prepared food for me every day before I came home from work.
During that time, all I did was work and cultivate. I was immersed in joy all the time. I felt light all over while climbing the stairs and distributing informational materials. When I encountered anyone in the hallway, I smiled at the person. One time I helped an old lady carry a cart upstairs.
For a period of time, I lacked confidence in doing the fifth exercise, sitting in meditation. I complained at this practitioner that crossing my legs into the double-lotus position really hurt. She said, “Is the pain going to kill you? Just overcome it!”
What she said upset me, but I thought she was right. If others could do it, I could, too. I would test how much my flesh body could endure. I then studied the Fa while sitting in the meditation position.
At first it was all pain. After a while, I felt sore and swollen. I sat in the same position while reciting the Fa until I couldn't feel my legs any more.
I soon conquered the fear of sitting in meditation. It's true that after the bitter comes before the sweet. I no longer considered whether it “hurt” or not and could do all five exercises easily, then send forth righteous thoughts. If time permitted, I continued to study the Fa. It was really wonderful.
From that experience, I enlightened to the fact that we should take the initiative to cultivate. As with my understanding about sending forth righteous thoughts, the pressure of the old forces shouldn’t be what motivates us to cultivate. Instead, we should take the initiative to eliminate the evil. If we can do it that way, the evil will not persecute us. Doing it this way ensures that our path of cultivation will be a smooth one.
After that practitioner left and returned home, I could do exercises, study the Fa, recite the Fa, and send forth righteous thoughts on my own. I took these things as the basic elements of cultivation.
Master has arranged everything for me on my path of cultivation. This is what I have experienced and witnessed in these years. One practitioner joked with me: “Master treats you especially well and gives you whatever you want.”
I thought it might be because I shoulder more responsibility for some projects. If I don't do well, I would not be living up to Master's expectations. It's a Dafa practitioner's mission to clarify the truth and save people.
As an office worker, it's difficult to find a fixed time to go out with fellow practitioners to clarify the truth, so I distributed materials by myself. At first, I got Dafa materials from practitioners in another city. Sometimes there wasn’t enough left for me.
The practitioner who stayed with me suggested that I make those materials on my own. She set up all the equipment and taught me how to operate it.
I distributed most of the informational materials that I produced on my own and purchased supplies accordingly. I downloaded the materials only from the Minghui website. My production site is still in operation.
My older sister reminded me not to develop the mentality of showing off and complacency when she found that I was so happy about what I was doing. I took her advice and didn't tell anyone about my material production site. Whenever a practitioner in our Fa study group needs materials, I provide them without saying who made them. I first distributed materials in my own district, and then walked along the streets to tell people the facts about Falun Dafa.
The practitioner who had come to stay with me returned home, but she still sent forth righteous thoughts for my efforts to distribute materials. She told me about this when we met later. I thought we had a deep predestined relationship. In those years, she would come to help me whenever I needed her. I knew that Master was helping me.
One time I met an older woman and told her about Dafa. She thought the Falun Gong principles were reasonable, but she had some doubts about it and asked me why a certain practitioner had jumped off a building to her death.
I went to ask a veteran practitioner about the incident and was told that the practitioner had been thrown from the building. It was terrible! I had to let people know what really happened.
That day, my practitioner friend came to see me on her way to purchase supplies. She suggested that I make a pamphlet about the incident. She downloaded all the information about this practitioner, who was tortured brutally. She also taught me how to contribute articles to the Minghui website, how to write articles to disclose the evil doings in my local area, etc.
We spent several days distributing information about this practitioner all over the city, with several practitioners sending forth righteous thoughts at home while others worked in pairs. After that, the rumor died down. The names of the police officers who had participated in this incident were reported, and those officers avoided Falun Gong practitioners thereafter.
My city is not that big. I thought to myself that clarifying the truth only in my city wasn’t enough. Then I started covering neighboring villages from time to time.
On my first visit to a nearby village, I hesitated to open my mouth for fear that many villagers would come out together to listen to me because the village was small and they all knew each other.
As I was wandering around the village, I saw a crowd of people surrounding and listening to an official-looking man. I walked over to the group, still hesitant to open my mouth. At the point, the official saw me and asked who I was looking for. I smiled and handed him a copy of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I said, “This book is for you. It's worth reading.”
He took it and promised to read it. He also told the crowd that he had read Falun Gong materials and believed that they were all true.
I took out all the materials from my bag so that they could choose which ones they wanted. I reminded them to cherish the materials. I also told them the basic facts about Falun Gong. All this was thanks to Master.
Later I met a veteran practitioner, who was kind, frank, and straightforward. She often went out to tell people the facts about Falun Gong. When I asked her if she would like to clarify the truth with me and ride a motorcycle to towns and villages farther away from the city, she agreed without a second thought.
I ignored what other practitioners said about her, as I only cared about her heart to save people. She often said, “I will always follow Master no matter what.”
We respected and were tolerant with each other. There were also times when we had disputes. Sometimes it was heart wrenching, but when I thought that it might cause her more pain, I stopped arguing with her.
From Master's Fa, I understood that we cannot see the part of a fellow practitioner that's been completely cultivated, because it is no longer visible on this human side. When we see a fellow practitioner’s bad side, it's a wake-up call for us to cultivate ourselves. So we cherish our predestined relationships and the chance to be together.
We often recited the Fa together on our way home. We encouraged each other and shared our understandings of the Fa. We spent all our weekends and holidays—even Chinese New Year—clarifying the truth.
Someone who was deceived by the CCP propaganda reported us to the police twice. We were arrested and taken to the police station. We sent forth righteous thoughts and told the police the facts about Falun Dafa with compassion. We were released in a matter of a few hours.
Every moment of our cultivation is filled with Master's compassionate protection and arrangement.
One year, on April 25, the anniversary of Falun Gong practitioners appealing to the central government, more than 20 policemen and three police cars surrounded and inspected me and the practitioner I clarified the truth with. We were not moved and firmly believed, “Master is protecting us. They are not allowed to persecute us.” We escaped safely.
This other practitioner was arrested for telling people the facts about Falun Gong and taken to prison.
When I first heard about it, I blamed myself for not sharing with her enough about security. When fellow practitioners and I tried many ways to rescue her but failed, I complained and compiled materials to expose the persecution while holding unkindness in my heart.
One time I went to visit her in prison, but was not allowed to see her. When I heard that she was severely tortured, I lost my righteous thoughts completely and cried like an ordinary person. It was not until then that I realized how attached I was to her.
I calmed down and looked inside. During the whole process, I had treated this incident like an ordinary person. I didn't cultivate myself. On the contrary, I added corrupt substances to my fellow practitioners.
I sent forth righteous thought for an extended time and absolutely negated the old forces. Meanwhile, I eliminated my jealousy, hatred, complaints, and mentality of fighting. I thought that if a practitioner other than her had encountered such a tribulation, I would be calmer. I knew that I should remove my sentimentality for her. It was selfishness, a loophole the old forces could take advantage of.
After she was released, I went to her home to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts with her. We shared our cultivation experiences. I was able to talk to her calmly.
When I heard that she had passed away, I was suddenly depressed and full of regret. Immediately I was aware of my feelings and looked inside to identify my problems.
I found that my regret was more about myself: I didn't help her out while she was at home; I didn't help her find the root cause of her tribulations; I was still planning to go somewhere to clarify the truth with her; and so on. Everything I considered was about “myself.”
It was a selfishness that was deeply hidden. Only Dafa could purify me. At this point, I had a better understanding of Master's Fa about the fifth exercise that requires us to achieve the optimum state while sitting in meditation.
For years, I dared not approach a particular area on my path of cultivation—I had no idea how to deal with it. In time, this area turned into quicksand, and I struggled in it painfully. If I slacked off a little, I would sink. It was my sentimentality for my husband.
My husband and I were classmates in a three-year high school. We got married after we both graduated from university. I took good care of him, but I was very strong-willed. He always tried his best to please me, no matter how hard it was.
Superficially, I had no obstacles to my cultivation at home. He did whatever he could to help me and fellow practitioners. When the police followed us, he drove his car and looked for me everywhere without any fear. Everyone who knew him praised him.
I relied on him a great deal and enjoyed his tolerance. I understood that, as a practitioner, I had to let go of these attachments. But I was reluctant to let them go because I would be sad without them. What I could do was to try my best to avoid conflicts with him.
Later, this sentimentality expressed itself in an extremely odd way. We had different opinions on our child's choices at school. I complained to him and looked down on him. Plus, I thought of ways to get the best of him.
Sometimes I was confused and was not sure where my thoughts came from. I lost my temper from time to time and was always mad at him. I regretted it every time afterwards. In time it became a vicious cycle.
One day as I was binding the weekly truth clarification magazine, a voice echoed in my mind, “My husband is doing something improper with his friend.”
I was very clear-minded but very mad: “Do not tell me this. Whoever does evil things has to pay for it himself. It's a heavenly principle that good is rewarded with goodness and evil incurs evil.”
As I was about to call him, I was aware of one point immediately: Do not be fooled. My words were not kind. Then I started sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference. Meanwhile I identified my problem: I was cultivating so superficially.
One summer night, it was very hot. I was in my room with the air conditioner on producing informational materials. When I took a break, I went to my husband's room to get something and found him asleep in a pool of sweat. He hadn't turned on his air conditioner, just a small fan. I turned on the air conditioner for him, but he said it was unnecessary, that he didn't want to waste electricity. I complained about him to myself and left.
I went back to my room and felt cool and comfortable with the air conditioner on. Just then I heard an echo in my mind: “Ignore him. Let him be hot, let him be hot.”
That thought made me very happy, which really surprised me. I was not that evil. I changed my thought and was aware that it was not me. I said, “I will not listen to you.” I went back to his room and turned on the air conditioner.
That night, I thought over my past experiences and reflected on myself. I shouldn't avoid the tests and tribulations on my path of cultivation. My attachment to him had already interfered with my doing things the right way. Wouldn't that discount those things I did in the past to validate the Fa?
The next day, I said to my husband, “As a practitioner, if I am wrong or not doing well, I must rectify myself. Please believe me and monitor me!”
He was surprised at first, then smiled. He said, “You have a demon in your heart. I don’t like to see it come out when you get mad.”
I knew he forgave me from what he said.
I sent forth righteous thoughts to cleanse my dimensional field. I studied the Fa a lot. I paid close attention to my every thought whenever I interacted with my husband. Sometimes I wrote down how things went at the end of the day.
But from time to time I couldn't help losing my temper. Whenever that happened, he reminded me, “A demon is coming out!” I immediately restrained myself.
Now we are able to get along well with each other. He also started practicing Falun Dafa. Sometimes we study the Fa and do the exercises together.
Thank you, great compassionate Master!
And thank you to all my fellow practitioners who have helped me and accompanied me on my path of cultivation during this Fa-rectification period!