(Minghui.org) I started my cultivation in Falun Dafa in 2009. I thought that I had never been jealous of others, and would never be, although other people might be jealous of me. I did not understand why Master had singled out this topic in Zhuan Falun. I thought a group of people with a pure goal of self-cultivation wouldn't be jealous.
As time passed by, I found that some fellow practitioners were jealous. They got angry as soon as they heard anything that could create jealousy. My fellow practitioners behavior was like a mirror and alerted me to refrain from being jealous. As I improved on my cultivation path, I let go of many things. It appeared that I was laid-back, peaceful and nice-looking. I never thought that I could be jealous.
However, tribulations abound tested me. I did my best to follow the Falun Dafa principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, studied the Fa when things were difficult, and asked fellow practitioners for advice. Thus, I went through the tribulations that happened in my family life and work.
I looked much older after each tribulation, because I suffered unspeakable loss during my tribulations. Every time I saw others enjoy their gain based on my loss, I felt helpless, which was coupled with a strong jealousy. The jealousy made me look old and gloomy. I experienced such tests over and over again.
The most difficult time in family life and work occurred in 2012. It was just like Master described it in his poem, “A hundred hardships falling all at once” (“Tempering One’s Heart and Will” in Hong Yin)
My jealousy rose when I saw incapable people succeed in their career. I looked much older, and grew many age spots. They looked like a bunch of buckwheat husks scattered on my face. I knew the cause of my unhappiness was jealousy, but I just could not let it go. I forced myself to go to every Fa study session, and repeatedly pondered on the section of the Fa on jealousy. I also eliminated jealousy every time I sent forth righteous thoughts. Eventually all my age spots disappeared.
My colleagues knew I experienced a hard time. They also knew the I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. Everyone watched how I would react when faced with a tribulation. They witnessed how my face turned darker, grew age spots and looked disfigured. But, to their surprise, I looked the same as before within a short time. My recovery validated the Fa to my colleagues. One of them even quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She praised Falun Dafa and hoped to also practice Dafa. I gave her a copy of Zhuan Falun to read and taught her the exercises.
She told me excitedly after a short time into the practice that she was able to meditate in the full lotus position for half an hour. I was a little jealous on hearing that. A half hour was the longest I could meditate in the full lotus position, even though I had cultivated for years. But it only took her a few days to do that! Because of jealousy, I didn't congratulate her. Instead, I said that those who had dance training should be able to do that, and warned her that she might not be able to do it so long someday because true cultivation would make her start from scratch. She looked confused.
I felt bad for what I had said. It was obviously out of jealousy. I should have congratulated her instead of being a wet blanket! I felt so embarrassed on thinking of Master's teaching on jealousy in Zhuan Falun, and was disgusted with myself! I hope I didn't discourage my new fellow practitioner. I must correct my mistake right away to avoid any loss!
Therefore, I found her the first thing the next morning and told her that half an hour was the longest I could sit in the full lotus position. It was marvelous for her to be able to do it after she cultivated for only a few days. I encouraged her and said that she might surpass me. I said she had shown me where I fell short, and I must do better to keep up with her. My colleague was very happy to hear it. I felt relieved.
She asked me a few days later if her stomach looked smaller. It was true! I could see her waist curve. She had done the exercises diligently, started looking younger and had a better posture. I was not jealous this time. I felt happy for her from the bottom of my heart! Especially, I was relieved that my jealousy hadn't discouraged her to cultivate.
A friend of mine sent me her pictures while traveling abroad. I didn't feel happy. I knew she had not been admitted to any college, yet she got an opportunity to travel abroad! I realized immediately that I was jealous and eliminated it right away. I sent my friend a congratulatory message. I felt happy after sending out the message!
I realized the only way to enjoy other people's happiness is to eliminate jealousy. Happiness would multiply as more people enjoy the sharing. I had just gained an understanding of such a simple principle! I finally got rid of jealousy, the most harmful attachment to myself and others. I finally embraced a feeling of happiness I had not experienced before.