(Minghui.org) I attended a day-long Fa-study session not long ago. When we left to take a break, I decided that practitioners involved in the Falun Dafa truth-clarification efforts with informational display boards in Chinatown would benefit from a face-to-face discussion.
These practitioners were arguing repeatedly about how the display boards should be arranged and displayed.
Someone told me about that conflict. I felt sad and could not calm down, even during the group Fa-study. These conflicts had been occurring on and off for over two years. I felt uneasy each time I went to Chinatown, because the atmosphere was very depressing.
I was the first person to speak up during the discussion. One practitioner, who had been taking care of one of the practitioners' children, interrupted and asked where one of the children went. I asked her not to cut in, as it was disrespectful. She asked me if I felt that she was in the wrong, and she explained why she was concerned.
I knew her from before we moved overseas. What she said made me feel embarrassed.
I was ready to go back into the Fa-study room, but she asked to talk with me to settle our conflict. I felt as if she was looking for excuses, and did not feel that I had done anything wrong. Therefore, I did not think that talking with her would resolve the issue, so I stopped the conversation and left.
Master's poem then began popping into my head:
“Cultivation is looking within for the cause”(“Don’t Argue” from Hong Yin III)
I wrote the poem on a piece of paper and gave it to the practitioner. I also wrote at the bottom of the page, “I do not want to talk with you today. I want to find my problem.”
I used to think that I was respectful to the older generation, and that I was following Chinese traditions. I since realized that I was judging myself by everyday people's moral standards, which are deteriorating. That aunty was older than me and she was also a fellow practitioner. From either perspective, I needed to respect her. Even if she interrupted me, I should not have chastised her in public. I wasn’t thinking about her feelings.
I thought that the interruption insulted my dignity, and that I was not being respected. The incident showed my real xinxing standard, which was far from the moral standard of Chinese traditions, not to mention the standard of the Fa.
Respect is an important issue. I was not respecting others, and that was the real reason for the incident. There were about eight other practitioners present, and I should have listened to their experience sharing. I cut in, however, so I could instead air my thoughts. This came from my show-off attachment.
I frequently interrupted others, including that aunty, but she never said a word when I interrupted her. She just listened. Her xinxing was much higher than mine in that respect. I realized my shortcoming, and although sometimes I could overcome it, I did not correct it completely, because I did not pay attention to it.
I was not respecting others. I could not pay attention if other practitioners' speech did not hold my interest. I was unable to focus, and I would check my cell phone, talk with the practitioners sitting next to me in a low voice, or do other things.
An everyday person with a good education would look at the other person and listen attentively, displaying good manners, while I, a practitioner, ignored these basic manners.