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Discarding Old Resentments

July 08, 2015 |   By a practitioner in Hebei Province, China

(Minghui.org) I am 67 years old and I started practicing Falun Dafa in August 2012. I was able to let go of my anger and resentment and develop a heart of compassion and kindness after practicing.

How Dafa Saved My Life

I developed serious illnesses in my 40s, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and I was taking antihypertensive drugs. For years, I went to hospitals and took various medicines but nothing helped. Instead my health got worse. Before I started practicing Falun Dafa, I was so sick that I could not even walk down the stairs.

I was living with my daughter at the time. I was not able to help her with the housework or childcare and my daughter had to stay with me every day. I spent a lot of money and seriously disrupted my daughter's life; I constantly pressured and burdened my children.

My brother and sister-in-law are Falun Dafa practitioners and my brother advised me to try practicing. Just two weeks after I started reading Zhuan Falun even before I started doing the exercises, my health improved and I stopped taking medicine; I became energetic and started doing housework. I even went with my family on a trip which would have been impossible for me before.

Abuse from Ex-Husband

I was married for more than 30 years. During those years I suffered tremendously. In order to survive I had to get a divorce because of his violent temper.

My ex-husband often went on a rampage. When our children were little he often chopped the door with an axe as soon as he came home, for no reason. Our children and I were frightened but we had no place to hide. No matter how I tried to take care of him with all my heart, he was never pleased.

Arguments were a daily thing between us in the beginning years of our marriage. For two or three years he did not speak to me. Later he simply stopped talking to me for several years. He also did whatever things he could to make me suffer.

My ex-husband ran a factory and made a lot of money. However, he only gave me barely enough money to buy groceries and he gave me and our children almost nothing. He did not take care of our children; I raised our children by myself. He gave all the money he earned to his parents and his several brothers. His brothers’ families became very rich with his help, while our children and I had nothing.

After living under this constant stress for years, I developed severe heart disease. The doctor who treated me understood my situation and told me, "Quickly get away from him. Otherwise you may die." In order to survive I decided to divorce him. Our children were aware of my situation and they supported me.

After the Divorce

During the divorce hearing, the court decreed that each of us owned half the house. Soon after the divorce he got married again and moved out. I kept living in the house. Six years later he divorced again. He called our children and told them that he had nothing left, had no place to live and was sleeping in a broken shed.

Discarding My Resentment and Treating Him Kindly

At that time I had been practicing Dafa for just over a year. As a practitioner I knew that I should treat him kindly. Considering his poor situation I thought that I should let him live in the house and I went to live with my daughter. However, it was very difficult for me to discard my resentment towards him, which was formed over years.

I felt angry whenever I remembered the way he treated me before. I then thought about Master’s teaching that whatever we do we should consider others first, and to be tolerant. I tried my best to dissolve the resentment over and over again following Master’s teaching.

I kept in mind that any worldly possession is not what I want and I only want Dafa. I moved in with my eldest daughter.

My ex-husband first went to live in our second daughter’s home, and he did not immediately move into the house. Although I had moved out, I still could not let go of my resentment completely. In the beginning several months, every time I thought about him moving in, I became upset. Every time I heard anything about him, I was upset.

After several months of Fa study and sharing with fellow practitioners, I finally discarded my resentment completely. Later, when I heard that he had moved into the house, my mind was calm and tranquil. Because he did not take care of our children when they were young, the children also complained about him. I advised them to be nice to him and to take care of him, because he is after all their father.