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Having Tolerance When Resolving Conflicts

July 29, 2015 |   By Shuxing, a Falun Dafa practitioner from China

(Minghui.org) I am an artist. During a performance, a rude student insulted her teacher who was my subordinate and she cried. In order to resolve the conflict, I blamed the student. Unexpectedly, the student reacted with more arguing, and the conflict became worse.

I later looked inward and found the reason why this conflict was not resolved well. I did not behave in accordance with compassion and forbearance, the principles that a Falun Dafa practitioner should follow. Of course, it was wrong for the student to insult her teacher.

However, I did not try to understand from her perspective. Instead, I simply blamed her. In my heart, I looked down upon her and disliked her very much. I also thought she was a hopeless person with low intelligence. In addition, I was very annoyed by her attitude towards her teacher.

The following day, the student refused to apologize to her teacher and skipped school. I hoped to have a chance to speak with her compassionately, and that she would recognize her fault and apologize to her teacher from her heart.

Perhaps due to my compassionate thought towards her, one afternoon, the student came and apologized to us politely. After she apologized, she told me she wanted to talk with me. She told me why she had developed a negative personality and told me about her helplessness. I felt sorry for her and gave her a lot of guidance.

I also told her of how conflicts were resolved using ancient stories in China. One being of how a Chinese man called Hanxin had to crawl under a bully's legs to avoid a conflict, of how Xiangyu did not succeed in winning battles due to his impulsiveness, and how a Chinese medical doctor Caocao had refused to follow the medical advice of Huatuo, a Chinese physician, and died. I told her to learn from these examples to overcome her own weakness of being intolerable, impulsive and accepting of other people's opinions.

After an hour of discussion, the student told me in tears, “Thank you very much! I am so fortunate to have met you in my life. I have suffered a lot from my own bad temper, but could not control myself. Nobody could help me. I do not know why I did not listen to other people's advice, but I accept what you've told me.”

I understood that it was predestined. The power of Falun Dafa touched the student's heart.

From this experience, I realized the power of compassion. When we truly think of others and are tolerant of them, the hopeless “offensive people” will find their conscience, and the conflict would be resolved.