(Minghui.org) I was introduced to Falun Dafa in 1997, but because of strong human attachments and low enlightenment quality it took me a long time before I truly practiced Dafa. Yes, I knew that Dafa is good, but I did not know about cultivation or looking inward, let alone having righteous thoughts. However, Master did not give up on me.
It was not until 2007 when my daughter, also a practitioner, got married into a family of practitioners, that I really started cultivation.
My daughter was reported by people who did not know the facts about Dafa for practicing Falun Gong and was arrested on January 9, 2009. When I heard the news, I was in shock and I could not eat or sleep. I used to be worried sick when she talked to people about Dafa and distributed Dafa materials. Now, I was distraught and didn’t know what to do.
Then, I asked myself what I had to fear. As an old woman, my life did not matter. I pulled myself together and sent righteous thoughts. After repeating the formulas for some time I calmed down. My body felt light and I could do the double lotus position for the first time. Then, I realized that this was Master encouraging me.
My brother was imprisoned for practicing Falun Gong in the winter of 2005 and my sister-in-law took off and left her four-year-old son with me. The little boy complained of a headache and a sore throat. He felt hot and appeared to have a fever.
I asked him to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” The child's little face was flushed and he could not open his eyes. Still he mumbled: “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion Forbearance is good.”
I asked Master for help while going upstairs. By the time I reached the fourth floor I touched the child's face and he was no longer hot.
I regret from the bottom of my heart my ignorance and stubbornness whenever I read the following paragraph in Zhuan Falun:
"Those of our practitioners with the Celestial Eye open can each see that this book looks very colorful, golden, and shiny. Each word bears the image of my fashen. If I tell lies, I will be deceiving everyone. That mark you made looks very dark. How do you dare to casually make marks in it?” (Zhuan Falun)
When I first came across Dafa, an elderly practitioner told me that one should not underline or put any type of mark in Zhuan Falun. I thought that this practitioner was making a big fuss out of nothing and that one could not read a book without highlighting the key points. I opened the book to search for key points everywhere and marked them. Later I came to really regret this.
My sister borrowed Zhuan Falun but could not find it when I asked for its return. It was not until July this year when she cleaned her house that she found it and returned it to me. When I held the treasured book, I repented sincerely: “Master, I indeed made a mistake, I must think of a way to correct it.” When I opened it, the marks were gone. I was grateful, cried, and could not express my feelings in mere words.
An elderly practitioner called and scolded me with sharp and harsh words. I felt very sad, but thought as a cultivator I had to endure and could only listen patiently. Instead of slowing down after about 30 or 40 minutes, she was getting harsher in her comments.
After she hung up, I felt very hurt and depressed. Then, I thought that I had been an extremely proud and strong character all my life. Perhaps, this was to get rid of my attachment to being proud.
That night in a dream, I felt great discomfort because of phlegm which I could not spit out or swallow. I finally pulled it out and found that it was a strip of gray-black phlegm, which I flung into a sewer. When I woke up, I felt very comfortable and realized that Master eliminated my karma and purified my body. Thank you Master!
A friend of mine wanted to learn the exercises and read Zhuan Falun. But, I could not find a copy and became a little anxious.
On my way to a commodities market, while waiting for a bus, I started to chat with a stranger. We kept talking and I asked after her health. She said she didn’t sleep well and had stomach problems. I told her about a young medical doctor whose grandfather and father were famous local Chinese medical doctors. He had not found any effective treatment for his insomnia and stomach problems. After he read the Falun Gong book he no longer was bothered by insomnia or stomach problems.
The lady said that she had a copy of Zhuan Falun, and knew that Falun Gong is good, but did not have time to read the book. She offered me her book and I thanked Master for helping me find the book for my friend.
When I was with my daughter, I always felt she was immature and often scolded her. Therefore, we had a lot of arguments that stirred my emotions. I was reminded of all the pain and tribulations her father’s various vices brought upon me.
I grew more and more sad and kept going over things in my mind with human sentiment and reasoning. At times I even thought of suicide. Staring into the sky, I was beside myself with anger.
I had always had a strong character and a quick temper. The suffering and injustice I felt was difficult to explain and difficult to suppress. Then Master’s poem from Hong Yin came to my mind,
"In life, nothing sought,In death, regretting naught;Washing away all wrong thought,Buddhahood, with lessadversity, is wrought."( “Nothing Kept” from Hong Yin).
I recited this poem continuously and my mind became empty. The more I read it, the more relaxed and comfortable I became and my problems felt more and more trivial. Was my heart not pure? Was this the reason for my wrong thoughts? I wanted to get rid of all the wrong thoughts that were not aligned with the Fa. All of a sudden I felt my mind had become wide open.
Another time when human attachments surfaced, I found it very tough, bitter and extremely uncomfortable. As I felt more and more bitter, another poem of Master’s from Hong Yin II came into my mind:
"A Great Enlightened One fears no hardshipHaving forged an adamantine willFree of attachment to living or dyingHe walks the path of Fa-rectificationconfident and poised "(“Righteous Thoughts and Righteous Actions” from Hong Yin Vol. II)
Another cloud vanished.
When I looked inward by using the Fa principles, I found a lot of human attachments. I found that my heart was not pure. I realized that I was quick to latch on to the faults of others and then looked at them with the principles of ordinary people. I drilled deeper and deeper and found the attachment to resentment. I had to get rid of it.
Master has taught us that there are no coincidences on the cultivation path and I finally understood the deeper meaning of this Fa truth. Only by following the Fa, can we have righteous thoughts, can we improve and can we use the power of the Fa. The Buddha Fa is boundless.
I have no words for my gratitude towards Master. I will study the Fa well, will send righteous thoughts and tell people the facts about Falun Gong. I will purify myself during genuine cultivation practice.