(Minghui.org) I was 55 years old in 2005 and suffering from an incurable disease. I was released from the hospital and sent home to die, although I did not know it.
My third night home, I lost consciousness several times. My husband and son finally told me my true condition. At that moment, I suddenly thought of a lady who once tried to persuade me to practice Falun Dafa. I decided to give it a try.
I started to shout, “Falun Dafa is good! Master Li, please save me! I don't want to die!” My voice became louder and louder. My family members noticed that I could speak and were excited.
At that moment, my son who had been arranging my funeral, also returned home. My whole family shouted together: “Falun Dafa is good! Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!” After a while, I fell asleep.
It was amazing--the next day I could eat. I began to practice Falun Dafa at the end of 2005.
A week later, I recovered. Master Li saved me from the brink of death and gave me a new life.
“Since we’re guiding you down the true path, during Triple-World-Law cultivation we’re always purifying, purifying, and purifying your body for you, all the way until it’s completely transformed into high-energy matter.” (Second Talk, Zhuan Falun)
However, I could not completely let go of my illness. Whenever I felt unwell, I thought, “Why does Master Li not help me, even though I have done the three things pretty well? Does Master not care about me? Or does he not want me as his disciple?”
A fellow practitioner came to my home to help me and told me to let go of my worries. She told me that Master told us:
“... if you can’t set aside those thoughts of yours, if you can’t set aside that health problem, then there’s nothing we can do and we can’t help you. And why is that? Because there’s a truth in this universe: the things that happen to ordinary people, as Buddhists put it, all have underlying causes, and for ordinary people things like birth, aging, sickness, and death are just a fact of life. People only have health problems and suffering because they did bad things in the past and made karma.” (Zhuan Falun)
After hearing that, I lied and told her that I had already let go of my worries and attachments, when, in fact, I had not let go of them at all. I even wrote my will several times and gave it to my family.
The beginning of January 2015, I stuffed a tissue in my nose because I was bothered by it running all the time. Inadvertently, I inhaled it in so far I could not get it out. I had to go to the hospital to get it out.
They took an X-ray to see where the tissue was located. The doctor reviewing the X-ray asked me what I had growing inside my head He said, “It looks like a brain tumor.” He said I should stay in the hospital and have surgery.
My son also urged me to stay in the hospital. I strongly disagreed and told the doctor and my son, “I will go home after you have removed the tissue.” My son got worried and complained, saying that I should listen to him. If I didn't, he said he would not recognize me as his mother or take me home.
I told him, “If you don't recognize me as your mother, I won't recognize you as my son. If you don't take me home, I'll get home by myself. All these years, I did not truly listen to Master's teachings. From now on, I will only listen to Master's teachings and practice Falun Dafa until the end. If I cannot cultivate myself well, I will not have any regrets whether I live or die.”
I said those words in a loud voice in the lobby of the hospital. I was very calm and had no fear at all. Many people heard me and came over to look at me. I walked out of the hospital and went home.
Reflecting on the way I did things in those years, I realized I lied to Master Li, I lied to my fellow practitioners, and eventually I lied to myself. I had been thinking that, as long as I could do the three things well, I would be able to recover from my illness and I would not have to die.
To my fellow practitioners, I appeared to be very diligent, but, in fact, my goal was to cure my illness. During those years I was tormented by my illness and felt very tired and bitter. On the surface, I practiced Dafa, but actually I did not truly understand Dafa nor did I assimilate into the Fa.
This time, I finally understood everything from the standpoint of the Fa and really let go of my attachment to life and death.
With the help and encouragement of fellow practitioners, I now firmly walk on the road of cultivation practice. Not only can I do the three things well, I can also do some housework. I've experienced what it means to be free of illness!
I sincerely hope that other practitioners who started to cultivate like me--for the sake of curing their illness--can firmly cultivate in Dafa and not lie, not make the same mistakes I did. I hope they can truly devote themselves to the practice of Dafa without any intentions! Let go of all ordinary people's attachments. Cherish this wonderful and profound Dafa.
Thank you, revered Master!