(Minghui.org) I am a graduate student. I used to think that my practice of Falun Dafa was uneventful, and consequently I had nothing to contribute. I want to share bits and pieces of my cultivation experiences to report to Master, and share with fellow practitioners.
My academic performance was poor before college. Throughout my primary and secondary years, I was rather lackadaisical when it came to learning. It wasn’t until I was a high school senior, that I started to study hard. Eventually, I gained admission to the university where I am now attending.
During my freshman year, I was overly attached to my family. I became very homesick and cried every time I called home. Although I was aware that, as a practitioner, I should behave differently, yet, because there were no other practitioners around to help me, my heart was constantly restless, and my academics suffered.
I went home for winter vacation. Under the guidance of my practitioner father, I began to seriously study the Fa. I uncovered my many human attachments, especially toward my family. I did my best to rid myself of those attachments.
During the second semester of my freshman year, I continued to study the Fa diligently. I worked hard. I did well in my finals.
Since then, I have maintained a high ranking in my class. I know it is Master who has unlocked my wisdom.
In the summer of my junior year, I was faced with issues of what to do and where to go after graduation. I agreed with my father that I should not take the entrance exams for postgraduate schools, because I would need to study communist regime's politics, which are harmful. As a Dafa practitioner, I should not allow those harmful things to invade my brain.I decided instead to apply to graduate schools abroad.
A month into my senior year, my department issued a notification with information regarding the university's recommended postgraduate candidates. A few days later, the list of guaranteed graduate school students was posted. I was on the list.
That was great good news for me. That meant I would be directly admitted to graduate school without the need to participate in any postgraduate exam.
I know everything is arranged by Master.
Reflecting on my years at the university, I realize where I had improved and where I still needed to improve.
On the one hand, I had become a serious student, making great efforts to achieve academic excellence, and leaving a good impression on people around me. All is thanks to Dafa.
On the other hand, I have not done a good job in balancing well the relationship between studying the Fa and studying my books.
I was too attached to my academic successes so I spent most of my time pursuing human knowledge. All was for the sake of ensuring that I could advance to graduate school.
In my senior year, I devoted my energy to preparing for exams and writing my thesis, so much so that even when I have some spare time, I did not spend it on studying the Fa. I relaxed myself and failed to cherish every moment to be diligent.
It pains me even now of how I must have disappointed Master.
(1) In my junior year, the university posted the rules for assessing scholarship qualifications.
I was aware that, in addition to academic excellence, a student has to have good involvement in extracurricular activities. Since I rarely participated in such activities, I figured I would never qualify despite my grades, so I didn’t pay much attention to the posted rules.
One afternoon I was in the study hall, a classmate friend ran over to tell me she believed I had an excellent chance to qualify for the scholarship. My heart suddenly got stirred up, and I listened carefully to her explanation.
According to her analysis, although I have not much extracurricular activities to speak of, my grade points were way higher than the other students, so my overall ranking was still way ahead. She thought I should have no problem being awarded a third-class scholarship.
My heart was restless, because I knew I would be able to get a 500 yuan scholarship. All at once, I started daydreaming of how I would use this good sum of money.
The next day, my friend came to tell me I didn’t get the scholarship, because the decision was made to award the scholarship to another student who was well known and much liked.
I felt aggrieved by the news and voiced my resentment in a manner not befitting a practitioner. I forgot to weigh my loss from the standpoint of the Fa.
Fortunately, I was given another opportunity to rectify myself.
In my senior year, another scholarship was posted. When I sent in my application, I was informed I missed the deadline.
This time, I remained calm and said to myself, “Oh well, It’s just too bad.”
The next morning, I found out the criteria for the scholarship needed to be adjusted so the deadline was moved back and all applicants were to resubmit their applications.
As it turned out, I was picked to receive the scholarship. A 500 yuan stipend finally became mine to have and spend as I pleased.
From that experience, I learned to stay calm, because I knew that what was mine I would not lose, and what was not mime, I would not get, even if I fought hard for it.
Master says:
“We therefore believe in following the course of nature. Sometimes, you think that something should be yours, and others also tell you that it is yours. Actually, it is not. You may believe that it is yours, but in the end it is not yours. Through this, it can be seen whether you can give it up. If you cannot let it go, it is an attachment. This method must be used to get rid of your attachment to self-interest. This is the issue.” (Zhuan Falun)
(2) One day, I ran into my mother’s old classmate who said to me, “My daughter is continuing her studies in the United States. She might find a job there and settle down.”
I exclaimed, “Wow! How very wonderful!”
Later, upon reflection, I realized my remark stemmed from my attachments to envy, to yearning for the kind of living conditions abroad, to wanting to change my life, and seeking a better future.
I often thought about and obsessed over what lies ahead of me, how will I get a good job, how do I make sure I live in a good environment, how to have a good income, and so on.
I realized those were all the mentality of seeking comfort and looking outward. I am a Dafa practitioner, and my path is the path of practice. Everything is arranged by Master. I will just walk the path Master arranges for me.
(3) I have a rather quick temper, with a tendency to be impatient and oftentimes speak with intended or unintended unkindness.
My roommates once made a mistake. I was immediately upset and scolded her in a strong tone of accusation. Through studying the Fa, I realized I had done wrong. So, I worked hard to rid myself of this attachment. But it was not easy.
One day, I took an afternoon nap. I could feel I was asleep, but at the same time, I felt I was reciting “Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong” from Hong Yin III.
I came to the realization: Master was helping me to remember to look inward at my own shortcomings instead of trying to find out who’s right, who’s wrong. Master was telling me to use every opportunity when I encounter a conflict to improve and elevate my xinxing (mind-heart nature).
I was never good at talking to people about the facts of Falun Dafa. Previously in high school and later in college, I did very little toclarify the truth. I was afraid and nervous I couldn’t do a good job. I was afraid I would not be believed.
I knew that helping people to understand Falun Dafa was one of the things that we should do. So, I decided I would overcome this by trying hard to approach and talk to every person whom I chanced to meet.
It happened in June. I was alone in the classroom studying. The door opened. A female student walked in and asked if she could study in the classroom.
I smiled and said, “Of course. There are a lot of seats. Come on in.”
I then started thinking, since there was just the two of us, that it is a good opportunity to talk to her about Falun Dafa. So, I started a casual conversation with her.
I asked, “What do you major in?”
She answered, “Foreign language.”
I said, “Google is now blocked. It must be hard to check for foreign language materials.”
She agreed.
I offered my sympathy and went on to talk about why Google was blocked, how news in the country is basically false, the issues of civil rights, why students want to go overseas to study, how people who practice Falun Dafa are being persecuted, what people outside of China think about the CCP, and how foreign governments will refuse entry to Communist Party members.
She listened. When I told her about renouncing the Communist Party, she consented and allowed me to help her withdraw from the CCP’s affiliated organizations.
After this encounter and successful outcome, I felt encouraged and confident. I used the same format to help several other students to learn the facts about Dafa and the persecution, and encouraged them to renounce the CCP.
In clarifying the facts, I also came to understand that for people to believe me, I must behave like a true Dafa disciple, always thinking of them first, and always trying my best to be kind and helpful.
Because people whom I met were students, I also learned that to earn their trust, I must be willing to help them understand at their level.
I would start by talking with them about their studies, about possible difficulties they might be encountering, and about how to overcome these difficulties citing personal experiences.
I would then tell them about me being a university recommended postgraduate candidate, which normally raises my status in their eyes, so they were more inclined to respect me and more willing to accept what I said to them.
After I gained their respect and trust, when I talked to them about Falun Dafa and the persecution, they would be very responsive.
I know it is Master leading me along this path, showing me the way, helping me, encouraging me, so I can better bear witness to the power and wonder of Dafa.
I’m so grateful I can be a Dafa disciple in this Fa rectification period. In the days and years to come, I will let go of my human notions so as to advance more diligently, cultivate more solidly to fulfill my prehistoric vows, and follow Master home.