(Minghui.org) It took me over a month to overcome the sorrow of my mother's passing. She died due to “sickness karma” last December. After reviewing my mother's cultivation path, I discovered a few points that can be shared with fellow practitioners who might be trapped in similar situations.
I believe a Falun Dafa practitioner's extended life is for cultivation practice and saving people. One must balance the relationship between family and cultivation, strictly follow the requirement of Dafa, and carefully monitor each test, including small tribulations and easy-to-pass xinxing tests.
My mother had many severe sicknesses when she was only 48 years old and doctors said she had no chance of recovery. In September of 1998, while on the verge of death, she discovered Falun Dafa.
Immediately, her celestial eye opened and she saw Master Li's Law Body, Buddhas, and Gods. Since Falun Dafa cured all her illnesses, she had no need for any further medication. After witnessing the mighty power of Falun Dafa in healing her illnesses and rejuvenating her body, many villagers followed suit and began practicing Falun Dafa.
For years, she had been a good companion on my cultivation. She reminded me of measuring every thing against the Fa and looking inward. She often told me to respect my mother-in-law and treat everyone with compassion.
My mother lived on the countryside and was busy year round. When she finished her own farm work, she would help other villagers. She was busy and had less and less time to study the Fa.
She would try to squeeze in time for Fa studies after a long day of work. Truth-clarification came second to her field work. She only distributed materials after she made sure that her field was covered. As a result, she held some materials, but didn't use them. I even found some truth-clarification fliers printed a few years ago amongst her leftover belongings.
I had reminded her to spend more time telling people the truth of the persecution and saving lives. She always refuted me with “a farmer Falun Dafa practitioner has her own cultivation path to walk on. Keeping the crops growing well and making the family life happy are her ways of validating the Fa.”
My mother was a hardworking woman and cared for her family unconditionally. She would meticulously prepare a full table of wonderful food when her children visited on weekends and even more on holidays or Chinese New Year.
After dinner, she would wash all the dishes and organize the kitchen before studying the Fa. Sometimes, she was so exhausted that she would fall asleep while studying the Fa or nod off while sending forth righteous thoughts.
My mother pursued cleanliness to an extreme degree. She meticulously organized her house, diligently washed clothing and bed sheets, and swept the yard repeatedly. She couldn't tolerate anything untidy so she devoted a lot of time methodically setting things in order.
I told her that it is honorable for a Dafa practitioner to keep things organized but she should not pursue cleanliness to the extremity. But she wouldn't listen to me.
My father has a short temper and often scolded my mother over trifles. She couldn't tolerate it and confronted my father every time. Sometimes, she was so exhausted from a dispute she had to lay down in her bed.
I often heard her jokingly say, “The moment I can stay calm and tolerate your father is the moment I have reached consummation. ” However, she never reached “consummation” in her life.
I don't know the exact reasons why my mother passed away. The above are a few points I believe she failed to conduct herself properly so I hope practitioners in similar situations may draw some lessons from it.
My mother had experienced two instances of “sickness karma” before. During those times, she looked inward and unearthed some human attachments. She had vowed to Master Li that she would save more people after she recovered. But both times she forgot about the vow soon after and continued to spend most of her time around family, farming, and yard work.
My relationship with my mother has ended in this lifetime. I regret I could not help her overcome her “sickness karma.” However, I wish other practitioners may draw some lessons from my mother's experiences and treat their own cultivation practice more seriously.
The above is my personal understandings. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.