(Minghui.org) Greetings, esteemed Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
Three other practitioners had formed a Fa study group in early September, which was a great idea, because one of these practitioners had clarified the truth about Falun Dafa only once one-and-a-half years ago. The other practitioner was clear on the Fa principles, but was still immersed in human emotions. She was retired, lived close to her family, and did not get involved in any Dafa projects. I felt happy, as being in a Fa study group would surely encourage them to be more involved in Dafa projects. However, behind my happiness was an indescribable discomfort.
Since these practitioners studied the Fa together, they quickly improved in their cultivation. They often went out to tell people about Dafa and the importance of withdrawing from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I felt that I had fallen behind and wanted to join them. However, I had a gut feeling that they did not want me to join them, and this bothered me.
I looked for an opportunity to find out why I was left out. I was going to produce Shen Yun DVDs the next day, but I had problems with my printer.
Despite being upset, I went to the home of one practitioner to test the driver. I asked her how many practitioners went out as a group to talk to people about Dafa. She did not answer my question, but complained that I asked too many questions. I disagreed with her.
“Others don't want you to join us because you argue with people,” she said. “It's obvious what's on your mind. Some coordinators want to know about everything so they can keep everything under their control.”
There was no sense in arguing with her, so I kept quiet. She seemed to have said what she wanted to tell me.
I installed the driver in her computer, but it also gave me an error when printing. This was unexpected, as I had used her computer in the past, and it had worked fine.
As I left her home, I wondered what Teacher was trying to tell us with this last experience. I turned around to talk to the fellow practitioner. I told her that I did not need to make the DVD. I was doing this for her, and it was her problem, not mine. In response, she asked me to leave her home.
Then, I went to another practitioner's home, installed the driver, and it worked. I wondered what was going on and what it meant. I realized that I looked down on some fellow practitioners.
Negative thoughts kept racing through my mind. I have coordinated and produced informational materials for so many years, cooperated with her, taught her how to make the materials, and treated her well. Yet, why has she isolated me and refused to tell me about the Dafa work they were involved in?
I forced myself to calm down and listened to Teacher's lectures the next morning. By the afternoon, I felt much calmer. But, I still did not know what Teacher was trying to tell me.
Finally, I talked to fellow practitioners. One said, “Why are you attached to what others do?” She said that I had a strong attachment to myself. This is the principle of the old cosmos: one only wants to change others, but not oneself.
Another practitioner told me how she let go of herself and improved when she had conflicts with others. Her words really impressed me. She said, “I positioned myself too high in the past…The universe is prosperous, and there are all kinds of lives.”
I realized that I lacked tolerance. I held tightly to several attachments. I looked down on others, was jealous, and always thought that I was correct. How could I be tolerant while holding onto these attachments?
The universe is prosperous, because Teacher is broad-minded and can bring everything in the universe under one roof. Why is that the sea can hold water from thousands of rivers? Because it has the capacity to do so.
After I improved my understanding, I could extend the sitting meditation from one hour to one-and-a-half hours.
When I met up with a practitioner that I'd avoided because of past disagreements, I realized that my negative thoughts towards him were gone. I felt my mind was broader, and we had a very good sharing.
Teacher has carefully arranged everything for me so that I can improve. I realized that we have to get rid of all gaps, take the Fa as the standard, improve together, elevate, and form one body without gaps.