(Minghui.org) After seeing Zhuan Falun for the first time in late 1998 and reading several pages of it, I knew it was what I had been waiting for my whole life.
Looking back at the 16 years of my cultivation journey, I realize that being sincere is very important for our personal cultivation as well our efforts in telling others about Falun Gong. Below are some of my experiences.
Not long after beginning to practice, I noticed Teacher used the word “serious” many times in Zhuan Falun. I asked an assistant at the practice site about it, and she said cultivation was indeed serious. Her words made sense to me, but I still did not quite understand the inner meaning of the word.
Master said in the article “Huge Exposure” from Essentials for Further Advancement :
“Some disciples said: ‘What’s there to fear? My body would still sit there even with my head cut off.’ When you compare them it’s clear at a glance how well they cultivate.”
Those words made me think further and pay closer attention to my cultivation. That experience helped to lay a good foundation for my cultivation and helped me handle well the tests that came later on.
The persecution of Falun Gong started 7 months after I began to practice. Officials announced plans to confiscate Falun Gong books, fire people from their jobs, or discontinue pensions if they continued to practice. I was not scared or intimidated, thinking I could continue practicing even if I had to beg to survive. As for my Falun Gong books, they were like my own life, and I would not give them up.
Another test came in 2001 when many practitioners, including some practice-site assistants, turned in their Dafa books. They said they had reached consummation and no longer needed to read the books. I disagreed with that idea and told them not to do it.
After all, in Zhuan Falun, Teacher said:
“Think about it, everyone: If we clear all obstacles in your path of cultivation practice, how will you practice cultivation? It is under the circumstance of demonic interference that you can demonstrate whether you can continue your cultivation, be really enlightened to the Tao, be unaffected by interference, and be sure-footed in this school of practice. The great waves shift the sand, and that is what cultivation practice is all about. What is left in the end will be genuine gold. Without this form of interference, I would say that it is too easy for one to practice cultivation. In my view, your cultivation is already too easy.”
Many practitioners did not listen to me and turned in their Dafa books anyway. I was very sad and often in tears during that time. Thinking they were my fellow practitioners, I decided not to give up on them. Whenever Teacher published new articles, I printed them out and delivered them to these practitioners. After such practitioners came back to practice, I brought them gifts to congratulate them.
Under the hostile environment, there appeared to be security cameras or undercover agents everywhere. Nonetheless, we had to deliver materials to other practitioners so they would tell people about Falun Gong, and we also had to debunk slanderous propaganda.
What we did was not bad or illegal, but we did not want the police to interfere, either. I sometimes tied materials on my body, around my legs, or at my abdomen, underneath my clothes and coat. One to two thousand pieces of Dafa materials could be transported at a time like this. It was somewhat cumbersome and uncomfortable, but it worked.
Another way to transport materials was using big student backpacks. Since my child was always next to me, no one would suspect anything.
For security reasons, I did not contact practitioners by cell phone. When they were not at home or did not show up at designated places, I had to take the materials back and go there again later. I didn't regret the extra time spent, because I knew it was worth it. On very rare occasions, I had to make contact through a cell phone in advance, but each time there were safety concerns, and I ended up canceling the cell phone service and getting a land-line instead.
When meeting practitioners at their workplaces, I sometimes pretended to be a delivery person to reduce the risk. Once the meeting place was near a big tree where many people were chatting or playing cards. There was a police station on one side and a sidewalk was on the other with people passing by.
Concerned about this situation, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts: “I am here doing things to save people. With power from the Fa and help from Teacher, no one is allowed to interfere.” I stayed there for quite a while before the practitioner showed up, but during that time, nobody walked by or came close to me.
Righteous thoughts are critical; being rational is also important. When going to purchase consumables for material production sites, I was told there were many plainclothes police in the shopping mall. So, I only negotiated the prices with vendors, asking them to deliver to a safe location later. I paid them when they delivered the consumables, and I returned by a different route. It always worked well this way.
As the need for materials increased, the production sites nearby faced more challenges. Because traitors leaked information to the police, some sites stopped running. Just about the time that I was thinking about starting a production site, one relative gave me 10,000 yuan as a gift. With that money I bought supplies and started producing materials.
My son, who was studying in a PhD program in Beijing, heard about it and threatened to destroy my equipment. I was not disturbed by his words. Although he was my son, I couldn't let him commit wrong deeds. I told him the facts about Falun Gong and said seriously, “If you intend to destroy this equipment, you will have to destroy me first.” This helped him understand the situation, and he then began to support me. He also began to practice Falun Gong soon afterward.
Preparing materials was not easy for me. Because of the hostile environment, the interaction between practitioners was limited to one-on-one, and it had to be kept very low-key. Since I was unable to find practitioners who could offer technical help, I began to think about how these things came to be. If I had been the very first person to start a production site, what would I have to do to make it happen? Because of old age and bad memory (at that time, I did not realize these were human notions), those icons and windows on the computer screen appeared very complicated to me.
Other than plugging in or unplugging the electric cord, I did not even know how to turn the computer on or off. Nonetheless, I began to pay attention to these things and learned as much as I could. I also asked everyday people questions, without letting them know what I was doing. With the help of nearby practitioners, I was also able to get in touch with those practitioners with technical knowledge. Little by little, I learned all the necessary skills and the material production site began to operate smoothly.
Realizing the materials were used to save people, I decided that everything that I would provide to others must be of high quality. I also sent forth righteous thoughts when preparing materials: “These materials are to be distributed widely to save people and no one is allowed to destroy them.” I told other practitioners that, as long as there was a need for materials, I could skip eating and sleeping to finish them. Because of my busy schedule, I sometimes prepared one week's food in advance, so that I did not have to spend time cooking every day.
One time when working on the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I found some pages that were mis-numbered. Although the materials were almost ready, I felt they would not work well. I thus decided to destroy them and start over from the beginning. With some reflection, I realized that my Fa-study had not been good enough with such a busy schedule. So I made adjustments to improve Fa-study and things worked out well.
In Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005 , Master said, “...Dafa disciples all have to walk their own paths. Each person has to proactively play his own role...” I thus began to help practitioners start more material production sites. After discussing things with practitioners and becoming more confident in their abilities, I would provide them with some equipment.
To reduce their stress, I also helped them learn the skills, step-by-step, until they were able to operate independently. It took a lot of time--some practitioners took 6 months to learn things well. However, when they were able to produce high-quality materials and perform basic equipment maintenance, I was very happy for them.
A practitioner once asked me, “Why are you are so selfless, teaching me everything you know without holding back?” I said, “This is what I learned from Minghui, where practitioners share everything they know and put it all in one place for everyone to use.” They have done better than I have in this regard. How could I hold back the things I know? Plus, without practicing Falun Gong, I would just be a 70-year-old woman with all sorts of ordinary problems. It was Teacher who gave me the wisdom, and I had to do my best to validate the Fa without reservation.
I also encountered some tests and interference during this process. Once on the way to purchase equipment with another practitioner, I had an accident. I fell off the motorcycle and hit the road hard. The other practitioner helped me stand up and I said to myself, “I am a practitioner who has the mission of saving people. I will be all right. Teacher is looking after me and nothing can take advantage of this.”
We both kept sending forth righteous thoughts, but my lower back was very painful, and it felt as if all my internal organs were turned upside-down. I walked home slowly. Despite the physical difficulty, I forced myself to listen to Teacher's lectures as well as do the exercises. I couldn't eat or drink for 4 days and didn't use the toilet for 15 days.
Through my celestial eye, I could see Teacher suffering tremendously for me. I was very touched and continued to produce materials as usual. Everything was back to normal after three weeks. I was very grateful for Teacher's help.
As more practitioners started production sites, my workload was reduced and I had more time to distribute materials, as well as tell people the facts about Falun Gong face-to-face. This also required righteous thoughts and wisdom. Once while distributing materials in a residential building, I noticed that an elderly lady kept watching me. I sent forth righteous thoughts, thinking she should be saved and was not allowed to interfere. I also went to a nearby apartment, knocked on the door, and said I was looking for a particular person. When the elderly lady saw me do this, she walked back to her room. I then continued to distribute materials as before.
One day while distributing Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party in a store, a police officer came in. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate any interference, having only compassion for him. I told him and other customers in the store, “This is a very good book and you will benefit from it your entire life.” As they were looking at the book and thinking about what I said, I quickly exited the store.
While asking one person to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), he got very angry and yelled at me, “This is politics. I'm not interested!”
I smiled at him and said, “Young man, do you think a 70-year-old lady like me is interested in politics? I retired a long time ago, and I'm here talking with you just hoping that you can have a safe future. We know that more than 80 million people have lost their lives during the political campaigns of the CCP. Heaven will not allow this, and anyone associated with it is facing serious consequences. I don't want this happen to you. That's why, instead of staying at home, I came out here to talk to you. Plus, quitting the CCP with a pseudonym won't affect your promotion or finances at all.”
He smiled and said he would like to quit the CCP with his real name. He also said he would tell his family to do the same.