(Minghui.org) I have cultivated for nine years, and have experienced the difficulties and happiness of being a cultivator. I deeply sense the importance of cultivating myself well and saving sentient beings. I only hold one thought: Whatever Master says, we need to try our best to accomplish it.
My daughter had cancer in 2003. She took chemotherapy treatments but they did not kill the cancer cells. Within one year, my daughter’s cancer returned.
My sister is a Falun Gong practitioner. After she heard about my daughter’s situation, she gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun. When my daughter came home she began to seriously read the book. At the time she was only one week away from her next scheduled surgery.
The surgery went very smoothly. Her cancer had turned into a benign tumor. The lab director did not believe the results and thought that it was a misdiagnosis. We borrowed the X-ray films from the first surgery and had the whole team of doctors review them. Finally they all agreed that this was a miracle.
Since I grew up in Communist China I believed in the atheism the Party spread, so what happened to my daughter was a big shock to me. I started to seriously read Zhuan Falun. Although I had smoked for over ten years, I soon quit smoking. I also had other medical problems, including joint infection, stomach disease, spinal column problems, and lower back pain. All of these went away without any treatment.
I started to practice Falun Gong in 2004 and at that time a Fa-study group was not available to me. Because I had gained much, I wanted to share the goodness of Dafa with others.
Whenever I chatted with my relatives, friends and neighbors, I always mentioned how Dafa had healed my daughter’s cancer. As soon as I heard of anyone getting an illness, I would visit them, introduce Dafa to them and teach them the exercises.
One of my neighbors suffered from severe diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. After she heard about my daughter’s experience, she started to practice Falun Gong. Soon her illnesses were gone and her face became smoother and lighter. Several of her co-workers who had not seen her for years said she appeared much younger.
Whenever I did the fifth exercise, the sitting meditation, I had a tough time crossing both of my legs. When I started to practice, I could only cross one leg. Even after two years, I could only cross both of my legs for a few minutes, and I was worried that I could not make good progress in my cultivation.
One day I urged my husband to quit smoking. He said, “I can't quit smoking because you can't cross both of your legs.” Why did he put these two different things together? I realized Master was using his mouth to give me a hint.
Afterward, I decided that I would cross both of my legs and I would not uncross them until the music stopped. As Master said in Zhuan Falun : “Suffering physically and mentally can make both the body and the mind quite uncomfortable.” (Lecture Four)
The severe leg pain plus thought karma hurt very much. After an hour had passed, I couldn't move my legs. I had to be helped to get up from the floor. My body shivered and my teeth were clenched. Sometimes after the sitting meditation, my legs would not feel normal even after a night of sleep.
I don't remember when it happened, but later I could easily cross both of my legs for an hour. I'm in my 60s. When I go out to hand out the materials, I can climb 30 to 40 floors without stopping and without getting tired. Now my legs feel so light.
My husband had a strong addiction to smoking. I talked with him about quitting many times, but it was no use. I tightly controlled his money, so he refused to do household chores. He would not get up in the morning and stayed up late at night to show me how unhappy he was. I felt bad, but I did it for his good; however, he did not understand.
Master said: “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference”)
When I was able to calm down, I looked within myself and found that I had not let go of my emotions for him. I knew I should be more considerate of him.
When I stopped keeping on eye on my husband, he gradually changed. He controlled the level of his smoking and started to pay attention where he smoked so he would not bother others. He also voluntarily helped me with some of the household chores. He told our daughter: “Your mom really acts like a practitioner now and isn’t stubborn like she was before.”
After I had finished reading Master’s lectures that he had given at various locations, I realized that simply studying Fa and practicing the exercises was still far away from meeting Master’s requirements, which is doing the three things. I also needed to help save people.
The first time I handed out the truth-clarifying materials, I was in a big hurry. Instead of being confident and calm, I was in a panic. Even after I had returned home for a while, my heart still beat quickly.
However, saving sentient beings is a most holy thing and should be done in a dignified way. It cannot be done well if one has a fearful mind. After I realized this, I changed my approach. After sending forth righteous thoughts at lunch time, I go out to save sentient beings in a calm and dignified manner. With the wish of saving people, I did it more and more smoothly.
Fellow practitioners suggested that I should start a materials site in my house. I worried that this may not be safe. However, I also understood that I should do whatever is needed without any conditions, which was also what Master wants. Fear is an attachment that practitioners need to cast off.
Once the decision was made, my daughter, who's also a practitioner, bought a printer. We started to print out whatever materials we needed. It was very fast and convenient.
Whenever I went out, I always packed truth materials in my bag and found time to talk to people or hand out DVDs. Whenever I saw a smooth wall or power line poles, I put up fliers.
When I met with any elderly people, after telling them the facts, I would give them nice cards with words such as: “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” written on them. I did not meet with any trouble when I seized these opportunities to clarify the truth.
Master said:
“All of you are already aware of the principle of mutual-generation and mutual-inhibition. If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I understood that if we hold the Fa in our minds and think about Master whenever we're in a serious situation, the substance of fear will disappear. If we are in danger, Master will protect us.
In August 2008, just before the Olympic Games were held, my brother-in-law, also a practitioner, was arrested by 610 Office agents. The court sentenced him without allowing him to have a lawyer present. When I clarified the truth at the court gate I was also arrested and sentenced to one year and nine months of forced labor.
As soon as I was taken to the labor camp, I was locked up in a special room. One prisoner was assigned to monitor me both day and night. They tried to force me to wear a prison uniform and sit upright. I refused to cooperate. One inmate stood on my hand and forced me put on the prison uniform. A large piece of flesh was torn off of my hand. When she removed her foot, I immediately took off the uniform.
One woman, a former practitioner who had been “transformed”, was specifically sent to talk to me. She appeared to treat me kindly. She tried to tell me her backward understanding of the Fa and she attempted to brainwash me. I realized what she was doing and ignored her. I turned to face a wall and recited “Lunyu”, Hong Yin and Zhuan Falun. She left two months later.
I did not realize that a labor camp is not a place where Dafa disciples should be. We need to go out and save people. I had gone along with the old forces' arrangement and thus I was forced to endure even more severe persecution. I was threatened with force feeding. I was also told that my jail term would be lengthened and that I would be sent to another place with tighter controls. I could not take the pressure anymore, so I renounced my belief in Dafa and Master against my conscience.
But my feelings of guilt and regret tortured me so much that I could not breathe. I recalled Master’s words: “Coercion Cannot Change People’s Hearts” (from Essentials for Further Advancement II) .
Therefore, I decided to stop cooperating and behave like a dignified Dafa disciple.
Soon after I gave the guards my formal declaration to resume my practice of Falun Dafa, I was put into their special unit. As punishment I was beaten badly. They also pulled my hair and slapped my face. I do not know how long I was abused this way.
One midnight, a former practitioner was sent to brainwash me. I told her seriously: “It’s useless for you to talk to me. The persecution of a cultivator who believes in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is a crime.” She left with an unhappy expression.
The guard came back early the next morning. He was wearing his military shoes and kicked me with them several times. I did not feel much pain at the time. One week later, when I removed my clothing I saw that my arm was black and blue.
Since then I could not leave the forced labor camp. For a while I was sent to work in their factory. Other times I was locked up in their special unit. My family members were not allowed to see me for 20 months. For six months, I was only allowed to sleep a little over two hours per day. The abuse and insults occurred nearly every day.
Although I was suffering, I did what a Dafa disciple should do, and I felt happy inside. I told the prisoner who guarded me about the wonderfulness of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, the miracles of Dafa and about the crimes that the evil Party has committed. Two prisoner guards learned the truth and said that they would help their family members quit the Party when they went home.
They began to protect me from the jail guards and offered me all kinds of special care and also helped practitioners pass around new articles and information.
When my term was almost up, the guard told me that all the Falun Gong practitioners who refused to “transform” would have their terms extended. The guard said that my sentence would be extended three months longer. I was not affected by this. I thought that only my Master makes the decision. Nothing could move me.
Early one morning, I suddenly got a notice that I was going home. Thus, under Master’s protection and fellow practitioner’s righteous thoughts and strength, I successfully was able to return home. The term was not extended but instead, was actually reduced. I knew that if we truly put down our human notions, Master will arrange the best for us.
While clarifying the truth to people face-to-face, I met many people who not only accepted the truth but also value Dafa and respect Master very much. It seemed like they came to hear the truth. Their sincerity touched my heart and reminded me of my responsibility as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. The people are waiting to be saved.
When anyone came to my home to repair an electrical appliance, deliver goods, collect waste or read the electric meter, I would help them quit the Party and also give them some materials. One delivery man said: “This trip was very valuable. Delivering the goods was not the reason I came here.” He pointed to the Shen Yun DVD in his hand: “This is truly important.”
One young man sold vegetables to make a living. I often clarified the truth to people near his booth and he never stopped me. He told me that whenever someone said bad words about Dafa, he would tell them that Falun Dafa is good.
He liked to use paper money bills with truth-clarification messages printed on them. Each month he helped me use several hundred one yuan of change. If anyone refused to take the money, he would tell them that by spending this kind of money they would receive good fortune. His business is thriving.
Quite frequently a complete stranger greeted me like an old friend. I would proceed to tell them the truth. One man heard the truth and said it felt as if he had just awakened from a dream: “No wonder you look so familiar, it was you!” Actually I did not know him at all.
I found the people who greeted me first or talked to me first were the ones that I talked to and they quit the CCP organizations easily. I knew Master had arranged for them to come to listen to the truth. Sentient beings are longing for this after waiting for millions of years.