(Minghui.org) I am a new practitioner of Falun Gong who started to practice in 2011.
One day during a class in 2010, my heart felt uncomfortable and I couldn't see clearly. I managed to go to the restroom, slowly sit down and lean against the wall. I thought that I had a fatal disease and my life might come to an end. My mind went blank and I couldn't think of anybody or anything. I felt that I had to accept my fate.
In that state, the photo of Master Li who was the teacher of Falun Gong, flashed before me. (I had read Zhuan Falun once in 1998 and saw Master's photo.) I remembered that a Falun Gong friend of mine had told me several years ago that I should recite "Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good" whenever something bad happens. Therefore, I recited it three times, and then I lost consciousness.
I was taken to the hospital and the doctor in the emergency room told my family that all of my vital signs were failing, and that they should make arrangements for my funeral. Unexpectedly, I came to my senses. I had suffered an acute myocardial infarction.
I was discharged from the hospital later and went home. I didn't have any strength and couldn't even drink water by myself. I was depressed every day and felt that I was a burden to other people. I easily lost my temper. Forty days later, I had a stroke and couldn't move my arms and legs. My mouth became crooked and I couldn't speak properly, and I lost total confidence in life. My Falun Gong friend then visited me again and brought me more than ten Dafa books and some experience sharing articles. Thus, I started to study the Fa.
In the beginning, I only read the Dafa books because I wanted to know what it was all about, and discovered that these books were very good and made a lot of sense. I admired Teacher Li, and my health improved. I could not help but wonder if it was like it was written in the book, and that my body was being purified. During my menstruation, I discharged big clots of blood, but I was not afraid nor did I feel uncomfortable, as I realized Master really was purifying my body.
I had previously taken a lot of medicine, but I have not been on any since June 18, 2011. Before I stopped taking it, my husband bought more to me and said: “Take this medicine before you stop completely.” I didn't listen to him and stopped taking my medication. I started to practice the exercises like other practitioners. I had some difficulty sitting in the lotus position, but I could put my legs down flat and was able to stay in that position for ten minutes. This took place on the third day after I had stopped taking medication. Fellow practitioners said that it was because I had improved my xinxing a bit.
I haven't taken any medicine since then. I had some tests of having sickness karma with symptoms of a heavy cold and high fever, but it lasted only a couple of days. I also had some stroke symptoms. When I wrote this article I had stomach pains, but I knew that Master was purifying my body. I sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve them and studied the Fa more and I became healthier. My husband didn't understand me at first, but he later accepted Dafa and said that it was amazing. He and our child sometimes read Zhuan Falun together.
I used to be an atheist. When I grew up and had experienced a lot of unhappy things, I started to think, what am I living for? Was it for money, power, love, family? But obviously none of it was the reason because I experienced all kinds of unhappiness in my life. Then why was I here? I couldn't figure it out. When I studied the Fa, I understood that the purpose of life is to return to one's original true self.
I was previously a person who harbored strong hatred and jealousy. I was irrational, competitive and had psychological problems. I fought with others over trivial things and found fault with them, and felt guilty afterwards. I sometimes argued with my husband and child for no reason.
I became calmer after I started to cultivate in Dafa, and I no longer lost my temper. I previously would say so when I was unhappy, even though nobody listened to me, but then I would get angrier. I am more sensible now. When I get angry, I remember that it is not me but something else that was formed by karma. Previously, I became unhappy instantly if someone pointed out my shortcomings and I would turn it around and point out theirs. I have become more pleasant and I have sincerely tried to improve myself.
I had difficulty getting rid of my hatred. The person I hated most was my father. I often thought about the things he had done to me and became even angrier when I realized that he was not a good person. My mother passed away when I was young, and my father remarried. I brought him to the city from the countryside and bought an apartment for him. I bought food and clothes and did everything for him, but he felt that it was simply payback. He often complained that the things I bought for him were not good. However, he was very kind to his step-children, and I felt it was unfair and that I was wronged. One day when I did the meditation, I thought of those things, and suddenly Master's Fa came into my mind.
Master said:
A wicked person is born of jealousy. Out of selfishness and anger he complains about unfairness towards himself. ("Realms" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Master's Fa awakened me. Behind my hatred was the attachment of jealousy. Previously when I read the Fa, I thought that I definitely was not a wicked person. Then I realized that I was worse than an ordinary person in this regard. As a matter of fact, everything happens for a reason. There must have been a reason and a karmic relationship between my father and I. It is a heavenly principle that one has to pay back the debts one owes. I must cultivate and eliminate hatred from my heart. Thank you Master for your timely reminder and for making me aware of this.
I was on sick leave when I started to practice Falun Gong. I talked to everyone about the amazing effects of Falun Gong without fear. In my residential compound, and on the streets, I told people to remember "Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." I started to attend group Fa study, and two of the practitioners there had been detained in forced labor camps. Only then did I realize that the persecution indeed exists and I became aware of safety issues.
Fellow practitioners helped me selflessly. They treated sentient beings compassionately and were diligent in saving them. They made materials and seldom complained. Their behavior and actions influenced me, and I also stepped forward to distribute materials, Shen Yun Performing Arts DVDs, Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party booklets and other informational materials. Sometimes I told people the truth about Falun Gong face to face. Whenever people would visit me, I would definitely talk to them about Falun Dafa and the persecution.
One day a couple came to my home to clean my range hood, I was afraid at that time because they was in my home, and consequently I didn't tell them the facts. I missed this opportunity, but it seemed that the man had a predestined relationship because he delivered a part to me the next day. This time, I did not want to miss this chance, but I didn't know how to start. Dafa gave me the wisdom. I had money with truth clarifying information on them in my hand, and I read it out loud before I gave the money to him.
I said that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is very corrupt. He said that the CCP is worse than the Kuomintang. I asked him if he heard about withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliates. He said he hadn't, so I told him how he could withdraw. He said he had joined the Young Pioneers.
I told him the CCP has done many bad deeds and have staged many political movements, and have killed so many people during those movements, and that now they are persecuting Falun Gong. If you've joined the CCP or any affiliates you become one of them, and you will be implicated. But you will be safe if you withdraw from it." He said he would withdraw, and I helped him with an alias and gave him an amulet. He left my home happy.
On another occasion two young people came to install a water purifier. I asked them if they were a member of the CCP. The woman said that she had joined the Youth League and Young Pioneers. I told her that I would help her withdraw from the CCP using an alias, and she happily agreed.
The man joined us when he had finished the installation. I asked him if he was a member of the CCP, and he said that he had joined the Young Pioneers. I asked him if he'd heard about withdrawing from the CCP. He replied that he had but didn't know what it was all about, so I explained it to him. I answered some of his questions, and he finally understood and agreed to withdraw with an alias. He was happy too. I gave them amulets and a Shen Yun DVD and they left happy.
The above is my experience during the last two years of my cultivation in Dafa.
Please point out anything inappropriate. Heshi!