(Minghui.org) Falun Gong practitioners who are parents naturally want their kids to become practitioners. However, being a practitioner does not necessarily guarantee that your child will also become a practitioner. Many adult practitioners may have noticed that not every child who studies the Falun Gong books and practices the exercises actually becomes a genuine practitioner either. Some kids may study the Fa and practice the exercises because their parents tell them to, but they don't actually cultivate. Some kids may well stop practicing when they grow up.
Parents must first learn to genuinely cultivate themselves if they want their kids to truly cultivate. If us parents do not know how to cultivate in an upright manner, how will we be able to properly teach our kids anything about cultivation? Cultivation is a process. It takes time. It can take years to overcome human notions and finally understand what cultivation is all about. It is especially difficult to overcome notions about how to raise our kids.
I would like to share some observations I have made from watching practitioners who are parents and being a parent myself. I hope these insights will help our kids become genuine cultivators.
Some parents are exceedingly attached to their kids, and love and raise them like ordinary parents do. It is perfectly normal for a parent to love and protect their child, but too often these parents forget that they are cultivators and allow their parental instincts to take over. A parent's overbearing behavior can create obstacles in assisting their kids to genuinely cultivate. For example, some parents are eager to have their kids study the Fa and practice the exercises, as they want them to reap the benefits from Falun Gong. This is a selfish thought.
These parents may cultivate well and do a lot of things to help clarify the facts about Falun Gong, but they act like ordinary parents. They are happy when their kids perform well at school. But when their kids no longer get good grades, they immediately think that their kids spend too much time studying the Fa and not enough time on homework.
Some parents want to ensure that their kids get enough sleep, even if it means skipping the exercises. They clearly believe that sleep is more important to their child's well being than practicing the exercises.
Some parents cannot bear to see their kids bullied or taken advantage of, and will seek justice when their kids have conflicts with others. Because these parents are too attached to their kids, they completely forget that these conflicts are opportunities for their kids to improve in cultivation, and therefore miss these opportunities to allow their kids to improve their xinxing.
Some parents disregard supervising their kids and believe that they will grow up to be just fine without any parental guidance, as long as they study the Fa. They do not spend enough time with their kids to ensure that they are raised properly and learn respect and good manners.
I have noticed that some of these parents spend so much time clarifying the facts that they don't have time for their kids. As a result, their kids do not understand what cultivation means and often behave poorly in public, having little respect for others and lacking in manners. Some practitioners believe that the old forces arranged for their kids to be problematic in their family. Whether this is true or not, a loophole must have existed for the old forces to exploit. If we have kids that are troublesome, we must look within ourselves for the root cause.
Blaming the old forces for a child's behavior is an excuse to avoid looking inward. Parents who would rather spend time clarifying the facts, instead of spending time with their kids, are also exhibiting selfish traits. Such selfishness is precisely the loophole the old forces will exploit, and can manipulate kids to create trouble and prevent their parents from doing the three things well. I believe that children behave better when a parent searches inward and improves at being a practitioner parent.
When my daughter was born I faced some interference from the old forces, but I was able to eliminate it after I changed my attitude.
My husband and I, along with my parents, practice Falun Gong. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I continued to study the Fa and practice the exercises. We were so sure that our child would grow up to be a Falun Gong practitioner.
Before my daughter was born, I had read many articles on the Minghui website about practitioners' babies being joyful when they saw Teacher's photo for the very first time. A few months after my daughter was born, I held her in my arms and put Teacher's photo in front of her. I thought that she would be very excited and happy, but she looked timid and afraid. She did not want to look at Teacher's photo. My mother and I were shocked and disappointed. My mother even asked me, “Do you think she was born into our family because of the old forces' arrangement?” I tried to get my daughter to look at Teacher's photo for a few days but each time she refused to look.
After I got over being disappointed, I began to look inward. I didn't know why she acted this way. Perhaps it was an opportunity for me to get rid of my attachment to vanity. I had always thought that my baby would be born a practitioner, and that the first word she would utter would be “Teacher.” My strong attachment could have created her reaction and my disappointment.
I then thought about what I would do if the old forces had arranged for my daughter to interfere with my cultivation. I decided not to acknowledge it. Even if my daughter was not born a Falun Gong practitioner, I was certain that she would become one!
I said to my baby, “Whoever you may be, you have Falun Gong practitioners as your parents. You are Teacher's disciple from now on. Only Teacher can determine your fate.” I don't know how much she understood or if she understood anything at all, but I would often show her Teacher's photo and explain to her that this was her Teacher. She gradually became comfortable with looking at Teacher's photo, and also learned to pay respect to Teacher.
When my daughter was one year old, she would get excited when she saw Teacher's photo or a Falun emblem. She often pointed at the air and would exclaim, “Spinning! Spinning!” I guessed that she was seeing Faluns rotating in our home with her Celestial Eye. As soon as she was able to talk, my mother had her memorizing the poems from Hong Yin. By the age of two, she had memorized many of the poems, and could recite Hong Yin and Hong Yin II fluently by the age of three.
However, sometimes my daughter would say disrespectful things about Teacher and Falun Gong. I love my daughter and I am always very affectionate to her, but when she was disrespectful to Teacher, I would have a serious talk with her. I would also tell the old forces that they had no power over any practitioner, least of all my daughter. By the age of four my daughter would study Zhuan Falun and practice the exercises with me, and eventually she stopped saying anything disrespectful about Teacher altogether.
My daughter is almost nine years old now, and has read Zhuan Falun many times. She has learned a lot about cultivation and often points out cultivation issues to our family members.
There may be many reasons why a child is born into a particular family, but as cultivators we should turn all malevolent relationships into benevolent ones. If a child is born into a family to settle a debt from past wrongdoings in previous lives, the greatest way to settle the debt is by raising the child to be a Falun Gong practitioner. If the old forces arrange for a child to be born into a particular family, we should care for the child just the same. We must deny the old forces' arrangement and raise them to be good practitioners.
Most children born into families of practitioner's have come from high places. Children raised with the principles of Falun Gong are supposed to be good and healthy kids. As long as the parents cultivate well, spend a lot of time with their kids, and do not have too many attachments toward them, then they should grow up to be good people and even become role models for other kids. If a child turns out to be troublesome, we should look inward and rectify ourselves. Only then will we be able to steer our children in the right direction. We should also solemnly deny all of the old forces' arrangements. Raising our children to be good, proper and respectful will also help to validate Dafa.
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