(Minghui.org) The Chinese Communist regime started persecuting Falun Gong in July 1999. Ever since then I have been speaking to those who have been exposed to the regime's hate propaganda against Falun Gong and the persecution. I have experienced numerous trials and mistakes in my cultivation practice over the past 13 years. I have faced countless heart-wrenching tests of my xinxing. Here, I would like to share some of the most memorable cultivation experiences and insights with everyone.
Training other practitioners to print truth-clarification materials in their homes is not a new topic. What I want to share is how I have helped other practitioners blaze their own trails in their cultivation and to help stop depending on practitioners who are coordinators as guides in their cultivation. I think it is important for everyone to treat the Fa as Teacher and know how to respond to different situations based on their own understanding of the Fa.
Practitioner Amanda (pseudonym) and I have been roommates since 2004. Since then we have been producing informational materials about Falun Gong in our apartment. We have trained other practitioners to produce materials in their own homes and have provided technical assistance to those practitioners.
We would collect business cards of computer service professionals and call to ask about their services and rates. We kept the ones we liked and then “casually” left their business cards for those practitioners that routinely called us for tech support.
Our response time was determined by the level of a practitioner's readiness. If we thought a practitioner was technically sound to resolve problems, and that she could wait seven days before she may become upset, we would wait until the 6th day to come to her assistance, because we wanted to know if she had made reasonable attempts to solve the problems with the training she received, or whether she had called one of the computer service professionals we recommended. If she decided not to wait and called a professional for help, we knew she was ready and no longer needed our assistance. There were some practitioners who would rather wait for our help even if it meant a delay on producing materials. We would then have to wait until the next time they ran into a technical problem to see if they would try to make a step towards independence.
As for those who were not ready to tackle technical problems on their own, we would naturally hurry to assist them. But we would give them more training so that they would become soon technically independent.
Amanda and I made very calculated decisions before we actually provided technical assistance. After a while, other practitioners understood our objective and stopped depending on us for technical support. They even began to help one another troubleshoot problems and provided technical assistance to one another.
I did not have a good understanding of what solid cultivation really meant. I had a lot of tests of my xinxing during that process.
When I tried to persuade another practitioner to produce truth-clarification materials on her own, she found me annoying. When she started producing materials, she became very friendly because she needed training and my technical assistance.
When I had her stretch her wings and fly on her own, she resented me because I stopped being so available when she called. When she became completely independent, she lost contact because I was no longer needed.
I completely understood, because Amanda and I went through the same process while we learned to produce materials on our own. But that did not stop me from missing the feeling of being needed. Nevertheless, I quickly came to my senses. I am here to cultivate, not to seek the feeling of gratification. I should be selflessly helping other practitioners. I gradually let go of the attachment.
I spent two years from 2004 to 2006 on training other practitioners. I thought only of helping them become technically independent. I wasn't above them, and I didn't think I was better than any of them. Despite my selfless intention, I had a lot of conflicts with other practitioners because I didn't quite know how to cultivate myself.
It was not until 2007 that I finally understood what solid cultivation really meant.
I once read a story about a cultivator who was once a prince in Nepal. He was the only heir to the throne, but he was determined to pursue cultivation since he was a child. Despite the king and the queen's strong objection, the little prince left the royal palace and became a monk when he became a teenager. He cultivated at a Buddhist temple of the highest level in India and studied Buddhist scriptures in earnest. He quickly became the abbot there because of his stellar understanding of the Buddhist scriptures.
He cultivated as an abbot for many years until one day an enlightened being told him that he had not cultivated at all. He was told to go find a monk who had been kicked out of the temple many years ago in order to cultivate himself genuinely. He resigned from being the abbot and left the temple. All the monks begged him to stay and said they would be lost without him. But he left anyway. Once he found the monk, he was told that cultivation was about eliminating one's attachments. He cultivated with the monk and finally reached Consummation.
This story completely blew me away.
The prince gave up the throne to seek the Dao. He studied Buddhist scriptures for decades. He gave up so much in order to pursue the Dao. But an enlightened being told him that it was not cultivation at all. Fortunately the enlightened being showed him the way because the prince sincerely wanted to cultivate himself.
I, too, have given up a lot. My business was just about to take off after three years of groundwork when I was arrested for appealing for Falun Gong. After I was released a few months later, my business was finished. I was at the rock bottom of my life. I was wanted by the police because I practiced Falun Gong. I had to leave my own comfortable home and go into hiding. I felt I had a good understanding of the Fa in comparison. I had spent two years training other practitioners to produce materials on their own.
But had I truly cultivated?
It suddenly all became clear to me that I had not cultivated at all. I had regarded my contribution and sacrifice as a form of cultivation, but was it what Teacher meant by cultivation?
Teacher said, “To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments.” (Zhuan Falun)
Teacher has repeatedly taught us to search inward and upgrade our xinxing when we face conflicts. Teacher has never once said that those who contribute the most [in spreading Falun Gong or clarifying the truth about Falun Gong] cultivate the best.
Teacher said, “One’s gong level is as high as one’s xinxing level, and this is an absolute truth.” (Zhuan Falun)
I had contributed a lot of time and effort, but I did not cherish the opportunity to cultivate myself in the midst of making such contributions. I failed to cultivate myself when I had conflicts with other practitioners.
I had wasted my energy on determining who was right and who was wrong. I would only search within if I knew I was wrong. But I searched inward for the purpose of resolving conflicts. If I decided I was right, then I left it to others to search inward. I only needed to be ready to accept their apology.
Because I failed to upgrade my xinxing with each conflict, I accumulated so many unresolved xinxing problems that eventually all of my attachments were exposed, but not eliminated. My contributions were all for naught because I failed to elevate my xinxing.
Teacher said,
“How they busy themselves, building temples, worshiping, Knowing not their acts are all for naught; Lost in stupefying illusion, they vainly dream of journeying to the Western Paradise, Groping blindly, walking in darkness, they try to scoop the moon’s reflection from water.” (“Acting with Intent” in Hong Yin)
I felt so regretful when I realized that I had wasted so many years. I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed uncontrollably. I regretted the time I had wasted, and I was also afraid that I might not have enough time left to truly cultivate.
I eventually told myself in tears that I shall never, ever try to find fault in others again. I swore to cherish each and every conflict as an opportunity to cultivate myself and upgrade my xinxing.
Once I stopped my tears and calmed down, I asked Teacher to arrange opportunities to genuinely cultivate myself, and made a commitment to Teacher that I would never waste any opportunity to search inward again.
Identifying my problem was only the first step. I must now really cultivate myself.
It was not easy to eliminate my attachments because I had accumulated so many problems with my xinxing. I spent the following year cultivating myself in the most heart-wrenching agony.
Even when I suffered the most unbearable injustice among practitioners or significant personal losses, I did not try to find fault in others. No matter how painful it felt, I searched inward for my attachments.
That was how I started to cultivate myself genuinely in 2007.
Amanda and I became coordinators for our local area in 2007. We spent the next two years working with Ben (the main coordinator) and Chris (Ben's right-hand man) to facilitate local practitioners on projects to clarify the truth about Falun Gong. But Amanda and I primarily worked as technical support and editors of the material.
Ben had been the main coordinator in the area since 2000. He always had a higher xinxing level. He was very rational and had powerful righteous thoughts. He had been a coordinator amongst local practitioners and was always well respected by other practitioners. As for Chris, we have been acquainted for many years. This is why I was shocked when Amanda and I faced so many challenges working with them.
For example, Ben was vehemently against training other practitioners to produce truth-clarification materials in their homes. He had been one of the few providers of the materials used by local practitioners. He thought it was easier to protect one large production site than protecting multiple smaller ones. He called it an imprudent change. He thought our xinxing was not at a level to do so without running into danger. He even accused Amanda and me of damaging our local cultivation environment.
Amanda and I had been arrested before and we were both hiding from the police. Next to Ben, Amanda and I were nothing. We thought that no one else in the area had a better understanding of the Fa than Ben, so we all looked up to him for guidance. But he started acting like a strict father and did not allow for different opinions.
He would say things like, “What can you two do? You cannot even return to your own home.” “Don't think we can do without you two.” “Those practitioners I have worked with as coordinators have all been arrested, I hope this time you two will last longer.”
He might have been perfectly civil in his manners when he made these harsh comments, but that did not make it any easier for Amanda and me to listen to.
Chris and I used to be very close. He used to enjoy it when I shared my understandings of the Fa with him. But he thought poorly of me as a cultivator after I was arrested because it showed that I had loopholes in my cultivation.
Chris was now the right-hand man to Ben. Chris was always generous in giving his time and paying for the costs of materials, but he looked to Ben for guidance on the Fa.
Chris treated me differently after I was arrested. He did not hide his contempt for Amanda and me. He also held grudges against us because we used to be arrogant and in the past we had said and done a lot of things to hurt his feelings. Now Chris would say the most hurtful things to us as a result of the karma we had accumulated.
Nevertheless, we had to work together to facilitate the truth-clarification work. Amanda and I worked as content editors. If we had any negative feelings towards Ben, Chris or anyone else, the negative energy would spread from the contents we produced to every practitioner that printed them out. It might create grave risks for those practitioners who distributed them on the streets if those materials should contain any negative energy. Therefore, Amanda and I decided that we must not harbor any negative feelings towards Ben and Chris.
Being civil to Ben and Chris on the surface did not mean we worked well together. We only worked well together when we had no negative feelings towards them. It was a lot easier said than done.
It was hurtful to listen to Ben and Chris criticize us. Amanda and I often broke down in tears after they left. But we knew we had to identify our xinxing problems, cultivate ourselves, and purge our negative feelings before we saw them again the next morning. Sometimes I still felt wronged and resented Ben and Chris the next morning, but I was also very anxious to eliminate my attachments and sentiments.
Fortunately I received a lot of help from Teacher. He must have seen my sincere wish to cultivate myself. I almost always managed to identify my attachments and cultivate myself before I saw Ben and Chris the next day. When I saw them again, I really appreciated them for giving me the opportunities to cultivate. I really felt what it was like to “...have gained four ways in one shot.” (Zhuan Falun)
I might not have always been able to overcome each xinxing test by the next morning, but I gradually learned to prevail over them quickly.
As Amanda and I kept improving our xinxing, over time our relationship with Ben and Chris improved. Ben became more respectful of Amanda and me. He once commented, “You two are really cultivating.”
Chris and I were no longer “buddies,” as we had become “fellow practitioners.” We treated each other with kindness.
When another practitioner upset me, I realized that his/her behavior was a reflection of my own problem. No matter how upset or hurt I felt, I always worked on myself and eliminated any negative feelings I may had harbored toward the other person. I will never hold a grudge against any practitioner. I know that every problem I see in another practitioner and every hurtful thing he says or does is just a reflection of my own problems. If I want to change the situation, I must work on my own xinxing.
Teacher said, “Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal ” (Essentials for Further Advancement)
I believed that Ben had a higher understanding of the Fa and Fa-rectification. It would take me a few days to completely comprehend his understandings. Amanda and I had been working previously by ourselves. This was the first time we worked with other practitioners as a team. We only knew that we should cooperate with Ben unconditionally, and we would try to make it work even when we noticed problems in his plan. But when Ben started to ask us to do things that we did not think would help with the Fa-rectification, Amanda and I continued to cooperate with Ben. We thought we were letting go of our ego.
A catastrophe happened just when we were starting to work well with Ben. Almost all the coordinators in our area were arrested while they were having a conference to share their cultivation insights. They were all sentenced to prison or forced labor camps.
Ben had asked Amanda and me to attend, but we ended up not going and were spared from the misfortune. Two other coordinators did not go because they stopped cooperating with Ben once they saw significant loopholes in his xinxing.
Another coordinator also saw major xinxing problems in Ben, but she believed that cooperation meant following the main coordinator even when he was obviously wrong. She went to the conference because Ben asked her to, and she was arrested.
This incident had a significant impact on me. Amanda and I might have cultivated ourselves genuinely, but we never really understood the true meaning of cooperation. I now knew what a terrible mistake we had made. I thought I was letting go of my ego, but I had let go of myself. I had abandoned my main consciousness.
It is my understanding that cooperation means doing what Teacher expects of us in each stage of the Fa-rectification. Cooperation does not mean blindly following any coordinator, but to take the Fa as Teacher and evaluate a coordinator's plan based on the Fa. We must also study Teacher's new articles and read Minghui.org often to keep up with Teacher's expectations.
I had a dream in May 2008 where, in the dream, I said to Ben, “Teacher, I have managed to meditate in the full lotus position for 45 minutes!” I was troubled as to why I had addressed Ben as Teacher in the dream, as Ben is not Teacher. Only Master is Teacher.
I previously always had difficulty with meditating in the full lotus position. I didn't start sitting in that position until March 2008. Ben kept prompting me to work on it. In fact, he would always ask about my progress when he saw me.
I was really nervous after the dream. I kept thinking about it. It must have something to do with cultivating, but I just couldn't comprehend what it really meant. It was not until Ben was arrested that I began to contemplate the dream again.
I finally realized that I was always idolizing those practitioners with higher understandings of the Fa. I wanted to catch up with them and even surpass them. I had made the mistake of following practitioners when I should have followed the Fa.
When Ben shared his understanding of the Fa, I listened and repeatedly considered what he said. I started to conduct myself according to his understanding.
Teacher said,
“...you always study the scriptures, you will be practicing in that school of practice, since the scriptures have also integrated the gong and the Fa from that school of practice. Once you study it, you will be practicing in that school of practice. It involves this issue. If you study it in depth and follow that school of practice, you may have assumed that school of practice instead of ours. Throughout history, in cultivation practice one has been required not to undertake two schools of practice at the same time. If you really want to practice this school of practice, you should only read the texts in this school of practice.” (Zhuan Falun)
What I did was the same as studying Ben's “scriptures.” But why was I so attached to listening to a higher understanding of the Fa? I guess I was trying to avoid any detours in my cultivation. I wanted to take a shortcut or get a free ride. I wanted to elevate my cultivation by learning from other practitioners' understanding of the Fa.
How foolish I had been. Teacher said,
“His cultivation has reached this level, because his enlightenment ability, xinxing standard, and wisdom have reached this level.” (Zhuan Falun)
A cultivator's understanding of the Fa is a reflection of his level in cultivation. It is impossible for any cultivator to ascend to a higher level by listening to another cultivator's understanding of the Fa. Improving xinxing is the only way for a cultivator to elevate in levels.
Teacher said,
“I can make you immediately reach the state of 'three flowers gathering above the head (sanhua juding).' Once you step out this door, however, the gong will come off because it is not yours, and it is not from your cultivation. Because your xinxing standard is not there yet, it cannot stay there. Whoever wishes to add it to you will be unable to do it, because it comes completely from one’s own cultivation and from cultivating one’s own mind. You can move up only by developing gong solidly, improving yourself constantly, and assimilating to the characteristic of the universe.” (Zhuan Falun)
If I don't cultivate myself, the gong will come off even if Teacher gave it to me. How can I possibly take any shortcut or get a free ride in my cultivation?
Besides, Teacher has said,
“A cultivator has no role models. The path each person is to take is different, because each person’s foundation is different, the sizes of their various attachments are different, the characteristics of their beings are different, their jobs among everyday people are different, their family environments are different, and so on. These factors determine that each person’s path of cultivation is different, that how they get rid of their attachments is different, and that the sizes of their tests are different. Therefore, amidst the manifestations of things it’s very hard to find a path that others have made, and it’s even less possible for a person to get a ride down one. If there really were pre-made paths and effortless rides, that definitely would not be cultivation.” (“Path” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Teacher has already made the best arrangements for my cultivation. Why did I not follow the Fa, which is the best vehicle Teacher has given me, but instead I tried to get a ride from another practitioner who was on a different path in cultivation?
Ever since then, I have stopped imitating or blindly following any practitioner. I always find answers in the Fa.
I was always very pleased with myself. It might not be obvious to other practitioners, but I knew I thought highly of myself because I always tried to teach other practitioners how to cultivate.
In order to eliminate this attachment, I tried to find others' merits and strengths in order to be more humble, but I still thought I was better than others.
I finally made a breakthrough in 2008 when I came across a passage from the Fa. Teacher said,
“One day his Celestial Eye is opened, and he can see things quite clearly. He thinks: 'At this exercise site, only my Celestial Eye is opened very well. Am I perhaps an unusual person? I was able to learn Teacher Li’s Falun Dafa and have studied it so well, better than all the others. Perhaps I’m also not an ordinary person.'” (Zhuan Falun)
I may not be able to see anything with my Celestial Eye, but I thought I was better than others. That was a form of demonic interference from my own mind.
When I was wondering about what I should do to overcome this problem, I came across two articles that were narrated by two illiterate practitioners and written by educated practitioners. I saw in the articles that the practitioners had righteous thoughts that were as strong as diamond. They have quietly made tremendous contributions, yet they are so humble. I was deeply moved.
I knew I would never have noticed that they were such excellent cultivators even if they were sitting right next to me. I began to contemplate upon the standard with which I evaluate other practitioners.
I had been evaluating other practitioners with my own notions. I judged other practitioners based on how much they had contributed, how eloquent they were when they talked about their understanding of the Fa, or the scale of the project they worked on. I also judged other practitioners based on their attachments. But have I seen their true level of cultivation?
Teacher said,
“As a matter of fact, those people who have enlightened are often disciples who don’t show themselves off but who quietly and truly cultivate. They are of different ages and look no different from everyday people. It is very likely that they don’t attract much attention.” (“What is Enlightenment?” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Thinking of those of us who work as coordinators, a lot of us show off and attract a lot of attention.
Teacher said,
“Sometimes some of our students, including veteran students, demonstrate very bad attachments that are totally unfitting a cultivator. Nevertheless, we can’t say that the person isn’t good. That’s because you can no longer see the attachments that he has eliminated, and only the attachments that he hasn’t eliminated show themselves. In other words, many attachments are not evident in him because he has cultivated himself quite well; only the ones he hasn’t yet eliminated can manifest. So maybe the attachments that haven’t been eliminated will manifest. You can’t say that the person isn’t good—you can only say that the attachment of his isn’t good.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Assistants’ Fa Conference in Changchun”)
It was wrong of me to pass judgment on other practitioners based on their attachments.
Teacher said,
“In genuine cultivation practice one must cultivate one’s own heart and inner self. One should search inside oneself rather than outside.” (Zhuan Falun)
Talking about our understanding of the Fa eloquently does not mean we cultivate well. If a cultivator has a great understanding of the Fa, but fails to improve his xinxing, it amounts to no more than empty talk.
If a practitioner shows a stronger attachment on a given issue than I do, it does not necessarily mean he has cultivated any less. Let's say I carry five pounds of fear and another practitioner carries fifty pounds of fear to start with. I will only need to remove five pound of fear to be fearless. But when I see him with ten pounds of fear, it means he has already eliminated forty pounds of fear! He has cultivated more than I have!
I cannot see another practitioner's true xinxing level, but I know very well how I have responded to tests on my reputation, feelings and self-interest.
Teacher said,
“The ability to achieve tranquility is gong, and the depth of ding indicates one’s level.” (Zhuan Falun) [ding: A state of empty, yet conscious mind.]
How many times have I really achieved tranquility when I practice meditation? Very few. Isn't it obvious how poorly I have cultivated myself? Why do I even try to compete with other practitioners?
I also think I was overcome with demonic interference from my mind when I tried to compare my strength with another practitioner's weakness. It was really a lesson of humility. I have become more humble and grounded since then.
I was jealous of other practitioners' strength when I compared my own strength with their weaknesses. I have now become all the more tolerant and forgiving of other practitioners' weaknesses. I know their weaknesses on the surface do not represent their true level of xinxing.
I am really appreciative that Teacher helped me overcome the demonic interference from my own mind.
Amanda and I took over some of the coordination work for two years since 2009 because Ben and some of the other coordinators had been arrested. Dana and Elle also started to help with coordination work as well.
Amanda and I realized that we were like abbots in ancient times. We were responsible for two things. We must detect signs of danger to deter other practitioners from it, and we must guide and help other practitioners in their cultivation, but allow them to walk their own paths.
There is a local computer store owned by a relatively new practitioner. He started practicing Falun Gong because of a relative who is also a practitioner. One day Dana took me to his store to run an errand. The owner showed his hospitality by burning broken toner cartridges in the stove to keep us warm.
The cartridges might be broken, but the plastic shells were still intact. It cost only about 30 yuan to fix a toner cartridge, which will last a few years, but a new toner cartridge will cost as much as 500 yuan. A genuine practitioner would never waste any resources like that. I had an uneasy feeling about this.
A month later another practitioner, Faye casually mentioned that the computer store owner is very popular and she often runs into other practitioners at his store.
After Faye left, another practitioner Gena came over and mentioned this computer store too. She said the owner is very enthusiastic in helping others. But when I asked about the store owner's cultivation, Gena said he was so busy that he rarely studied Zhuan Falun . She also said he sells computer supplies to other practitioners at a profit.
Amanda and I had a discussion after Gena left. It was not a coincidence that two practitioners mentioned the same person on the same day. It must have been a hint from Teacher. We thought it would be dangerous for us to buy supplies from his store to produce materials.
But how should we protect other practitioners without raising any interpersonal conflict? We decided to start an email discussion with other practitioners. We wrote that it might not be very considerate if every practitioner buys supplies from him and counts on his assistance. We added that the store owner hardly has any time to study the Fa because he was too busy with the store.
Most practitioners stopped going to that computer store. It was just as Amanda and I had suspected. The police started watching the store traffic shortly afterwards. Six months later, the police arrested three practitioners who still frequented the store. The store owner gave up practicing Falun Gong shortly after the arrests.
I think denying the old forces is something each and every practitioner must learn to do. I have learned that the old forces have no power over us if we refuse to acknowledge their arrangements.
In order to have us accept their arrangements, including arrests, the old forces have installed all sorts of notions in us. For example, if I have a bad dream or my eyelids twitch, I suspect something bad is about to happen. That is a notion. Growing up under the Chinese Communist regime's propaganda, I acknowledged that a person might be arrested if he opposes the regime's policy. That is another notion.
The old forces often sent me dreams as a way to have me acknowledge their arrangements. I had a nightmare once about being bitten by a large black dog. I could even remember the pain of the dog bite in the dream. I saw it as an omen and stayed home for two days to avoid any risk of being arrested. I sent righteous thoughts at home for two days. But I kept stepping on bugs at home and crushing them. I then suddenly remembered what Teacher said.
Teacher said,
“Though you may find one that has practiced cultivation for nearly one thousand years, a tiny finger will be more than enough to crush it.” (Zhuan Falun)
I decided that Teacher was trying to tell me that the old forces are as puny and weak as bugs. I forgot about the ominous nightmare and went about my business as usual.
I knew that if I had acknowledged the nightmare, things would have turned out differently. I might actually have been arrested again.
I had another nightmare while I was working on an important project. I dreamed of escaping from a police siege. When I woke up, I thought, “What a close call.” But soon I realized that I still acknowledged the old forces' arrangements. The police should not have shown up at all, not to mention forming a siege. I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate all the degenerated lives in other dimensions that had given me the nightmare.
I used to have a lot of fear. If I had bad luck, I would see it as an omen that I might soon be arrested. I would study the Fa more diligently to avoid being persecuted. I would send forth righteous thoughts before I left home to avoid being arrested. I kept saying I must deny the old forces' arrangements, but I did not.
I was constantly vigilant. I was constantly tense. Soon I was worn out. “Why can't I have a moment to relax?” I asked myself.
I searched inward and realized I had studied the Fa diligently to avoid being arrested again. I should have tried to assimilate myself unconditionally to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
If I don't eliminate my attachment to fear, it will not do even if I keep myself safe and intact until the completion of the Fa-rectification period.
What was I afraid of? I was afraid of being beaten again, of being forced to perform hard labor, of being cold in prison, or that I might succumb to torture and renounce Falun Gong. I kept studying the Fa and eliminating fear bit by bit. When I heard census takers knocking from door to door, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate my fear, instead of coming up with a strategy to avoid the census taker.
I could feel my fear diminishing. I came to a better understanding of Teacher's Fa on negating the old forces.
Teacher said,
“We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference” in Teaching the Fa at the Conference IV)
Every once in a while, I ask myself these questions. What is the Fa? Why do I practice Falun Gong? Why do I do the three things?
Here are my own answers:
The Fa encompasses the principles and power to create the universe. It is Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. It is the ultimate truth of the universe.
Doing the three things is the way for us to assimilate to and have the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance manifest in the human realm.
To cultivate is to pursue the meaning of our lives. It is a process where we assimilate to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
A cultivator does not cultivate to elevate his level, to reach Consummation, to be free of tribulations forever, to avoid persecution, to seek honor and glory, or to seek any reward. A cultivator should not cultivate with any strings attached. Once I came to such an understanding, cultivation has become less complicated for me.
I met two practitioners last year. One has never succumbed to the torture in prison or renounced Falun Gong, but he was dying because of the torture. He gave up fighting. He had even prepared a will.
I asked him why he focused on the thought of death so much. “Why don't you leave it to Teacher?” I asked him.
Teacher said, “Having heard the Dao in the morning, one can die in the evening.” (“Melt into the Fa” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
“Why don't you spend the time you have now on truly elevating your xinxing? Let go of everything, and cherish the time you have left to cultivate your xinxing.” He started opening up and identified many of his attachments.
The other practitioner, on the other hand, renounced Falun Gong in a forced labor camp. She slowly started to do the three things after she was released, but she has not written any statement to nullify what she wrote in the camp.
She asked me a question that had been confusing her. She met two other practitioners in the forced labor camp. They persevered in their faith in Falun Gong despite the severe torture, but they were very difficult to get along with and they always stayed by themselves in a corner.
She said she might have renounced Falun Gong in the camp, but she still felt very energetic. She said she got along well with the person sent by the 610 Office to watch her. That person was receptive when she clarified the truth about Falun Gong. Her relationship with her family had also improved.
She thought she had made a good choice. On the other hand, she thought those two practitioners she met in the camp were not likable and no one would want to listen to them when they talked about Falun Gong.
I said to her, “Wen Tianxiang was a scholar-general in the final years of the Southern Song Dynasty. He was captured after Kublai Khan of Mongolia invaded the Song. Kublai Khan promised to spare the Song people and even had Wen rule his own people as long as he surrendered. But if he refused to surrender, Khan would execute him and turn his daughters into palace prostitutes. Did he choose to keep his loyalty to the Song and die, or compromise his patriotism and turn himself and his countrymen into slaves? Wen Tianxiang did not surrender. He would rather die. Why? It is an important principle. A man of virtue will never compromise on such an important principle. We cultivate to assimilate to Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. How can we compromise on Truthfulness?”
She began to ponder. Three hours later she decided to write a statement to nullify what she wrote in the camp.
Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is so beautiful. Falun Gong is so beautiful. I will give everything I have to assimilate to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance until the end.
I have come to realize that cultivation means assimilating to the Fa without pursuit.