(Minghui.org) Fourteen years ago, I graduated from college and began working as a civil servant in a city government in southern China. Two of my college friends took a four-hour bus trip to deliver the book Zhuan Falun to me, telling me that it was a good book. I looked over it and asked them to take it back. Just like this, I unknowingly missed a precious opportunity. Three years later, I resigned from the city government to work in foreign trade, moving from place to place to make a living.
In 2004, I would see a Falun Gong truth-clarification site during my multiple trips to Hong Kong. I was initially hesitant to accept the materials that they were passing out. After a year, I returned to Hong Kong and saw that the truth-clarification site was still there. I thought that since these people were so dedicated to their cause, rain or shine, there must be a large grievance behind it. I examined the exhibition's contents from top to bottom and realized that the truth was completely different from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)'s propaganda. This revelation changed my thinking dramatically.
After many ups and downs, I returned to my parents' hometown, found a stable job, and got married. Even though my life had calmed down, I felt as if I was still searching for something. I sensed that this was not my destiny, and that I would eventually leave this place. In the next six years, my marriage came to an end. I missed the south and requested my employer to transfer me to a southern subsidiary of the company. My wish was granted.
After returning to the south in March 2012, I was reunited with two of my best friends from college. Both of them were Falun Gong practitioners. One asked whether I had quit the CCP. I told him that I joined the Party in my third year of college, but had not paid my membership dues for over ten years since I quit my job as a public servant. He asked whether I filled out the application form to get into the CCP, which I confirmed. He then asked whether I raised my hand and swore in front of the CCP's blood-red flag, which I confirmed. I then remembered that I swore to give the CCP my life, and it was a deadly vow. He told me, “If you do not terminate the vow, you will always carry the symbol of the sickle and hammer. After you nullify the vow, righteous gods will take care of you.”
The concept of gods was very vague in my mind, as I was brought up in a society of atheism. I still felt that I needed to void the vicious vows I took. I agreed with my friend and announced that I quit the CCP on the spot. A minute later, I felt a cool breeze on the back of my neck, as if something was pulled out of me through my neck. My friend, who could see other dimensions, told me that the symbol on me had faded away.
One day in late April, while walking down a bustling street, I suddenly felt that everything was an illusion and transitory. A question popped into my mind: do I really exist? When I entered a half-asleep state later that night, the question echoed in my mind again. My answer was: this me does not really exist.
The next day, I sat on the sofa with my legs crossed. Out of boredom, I picked up a Buddhist book. Actually, since childhood I had always been fascinated by the mysteriousness of life and searched for the meaning of life. In one sitting, I finished reading this book, but it did not explain many things clearly. Nevertheless, I was determined to begin cultivation. Even though I didn't understand what true cultivation was, I mused to myself that I would still be a good person, follow the course of nature, and search for truth and beauty in this society.
The next time I saw my college friend, I told him that I had decided to start cultivation. He smiled and said, “Are you ready to take a difficult path?” I told him, “Cultivation is not hard. It is ignorance that is hard.” As I said that, I felt immense tranquility and joy. The habitual anxiety that I had felt since I was a child was greatly reduced.
That night in my dream, I saw a demon trying to chop off my head. It lasted all night. As soon as I closed my eyes, the demon in red clothes would find me. I did not sleep at all and left the light on. My friend visited me the next day. When I told him about my night, he told me to recite “Falun Dafa is good” if I got scared. Night came, and I laid down on the bed. I felt the night come down and smother me like a comforter, and I could not breathe. I quickly recited “Falun Dafa is good.” Immediately, I smelled an aroma and felt a stream of warmth come down from my head. The stream of warmth circled twice in my lower abdomen and disappeared. That night I slept well.
My friend brought me the book Zhuan Falun and told me that I must finish reading it no matter what happened. After I got home from work that evening, I started to read the book. As I was reading it, I told myself that the book was written by a god! I finished the book at 2 a.m. After I went to bed, I felt the stream of warmth come down from my head again. The next day, I told my friend that I knew the purpose of my existence here was to read this book. I had finally obtained the Fa!
Each time I recalled this part of my memory, I became very excited. At times when I saw pedestrians on the street looking exhausted and worried, I wanted to shout at them, “Wake up! Falun Dafa is being taught here, and obtaining it is the purpose of your life!”
My friend told me, “There would be all kinds of resistance when you try to read Falun Dafa books. It is not easy to obtain the Fa, and having a strong will is very important. Teacher will help you if you remain steadfast in studying.” At first, my old ailment recurred when I studied. Red, itchy rashes covered my body. I scratched as I read. I promised Teacher in my mind, “I will finish reading this book tonight, and nothing can stop me.” Half an hour later, the itchiness stopped. The normally noisy surroundings suddenly quieted down. In the next two weeks, I finished reading dozens of Falun Dafa books. During this time there was minimal interference, as if I were reading in another dimension.
Once, two of my longtime friends wanted to visit me. I planned to go home to get my Falun Dafa materials, so that I could clarify the truth to them. When I got home, the door was jammed. I called a locksmith, who told me that this kind of lock was difficult and that it would take twenty minutes. As he was drilling, the tool broke. He tried other tools, but they did not work. I realized that it was interference and asked Teacher to help me. I thought, “I'm going to save people, and nothing should stop me” while sending forth righteous thoughts. Two minutes later, the drilling tool began to work, and the door was opened in five minutes. The surprised locksmith said he had never unlocked such a lock so quickly. I gave him a Shen Yun DVD, and he happily told me that he would watch it that night.
Whenever I had doubts in doing the three things, Teacher arranged for fellow practitioners to find me or share experiences with me. Sometimes during a discussion seemingly irrelevant to the problem I had, I still found the answers I needed. In the past two weeks, my teeth hurt so badly that I was unable to study and do the exercises normally. I tried to look within, but was unable to find the root of my attachments. The pain worsened, and I did not think I could take it anymore. I asked Teacher to give me a hint. That night, I studied the Fa with several other practitioners. Seeing that I was unable to hold the book properly because of the pain, they sent righteous thoughts to help me. When the practitioner who helped me obtain the Fa talked to me, everything he said was like thunder roaring in my ears, striking hard at my human notions. Suddenly, my righteous thoughts came back to me. I realized that in the past two weeks I was struggling with my emotions, because I had a lot of interaction with a person I really liked from last year. I saw the test that I must pass and rediscovered my righteous thoughts. The Fa principles rushed into my head and manifested to me their higher meanings.
Sometimes when I read Master's new articles, tears would flow down my face. Tears would also pour out when I read fellow practitioners' articles on Minghui. What I want to say cannot be described in words. Other than diligently and truly cultivating, what else can I do to repay Master's mighty grace?
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!