(Minghui.org) Recently, I had frequent thoughts about certain fellow Falun Dafa practitioners. I would always think of what they did wrong and how they needed to improve. I was very worried about them. I felt that I had to help them, so I spent several days meeting and talking with these practitioners. I was so busy doing this that I could not study the Fa well. It felt like there was a thick barrier in my brain. My eyes could see the words and my mouth read the words, but I did not really study the Fa or understand the Fa principles.
I knew something was wrong, so I sent forth righteous thoughts a few times, but this situation did not get better. I was still busy with those kinds of things all day long. I was studying the Fa as if it was a task. As time went by, the feeling that there was a barrier in my mind got stronger and stronger.
Around that time, Master taught us,
“Whichever kind of life form your thinking aligns with, that life form will immediately have an effect on you.”
“But in fact, it was precisely your attachments that resulted in those things having an effect on you, and that led to their strengthening your attachments. ”
(“Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”)
It is true! How could I obtain the Fa with so many attachments? How could these attachments not interfere? How could I send forth any righteous thoughts in such a state?
When I looked inward, I found many attachments. I discovered that I always blamed others when I came across any problems. I would ask, “Why was she/he like that?” However, I didn’t think about what I did. It's already become natural for me to blame others and complain about them. I did not consider others first. I did not behave in accordance with the principle of “ looking inward”. Looking inward became merely empty talk and I became self-centered. l wanted to hear pleasing things and seek comfort for myself.
I asked myself why I only saw others’ shortcomings. Why didn’t I see their strengths? The shortcomings I saw are to help me improve myself. They are mirrors of myself and I didn’t cherish the opportunities for improving myself.
I spent three days looking within. I put Fa study as my daily priority. While studying the Fa, I double-crossed my legs and concentrated. I eliminated external interference and bad thoughts and studied the Fa with all my heart. The barrier disappeared very soon and I felt my true self begin studying the Fa.
I studied Master’s “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa” again and again. I required myself to behave in accordance with the Fa and measure every single thought with the Fa.
A few days ago, we invited a fellow practitioner who does technical work to repair our local printers. He was busy repairing them for several days, but some printers stopped working again. He decided to train us so that we could solve the printer problems by ourselves in the future. In order to save time, we obtained a broken printer needing repair and invited a few other practitioners to join the training with us.
The practitioner who provided the location got very upset when she saw so many people had come to the training. She yelled, “What are you doing here? You said you just needed a place to repair machines—why are all those people here? They have to leave now.” I said, “They came here from far away, and can only go back home later tonight at the earliest.”
I thought, “She is so selfish and does not consider others. Her printer was repaired so she does not care about others”. While I was complaining, it occurred to me that I should look inward. Then I realized I was not thinking about this fellow practitioner at all. She was stressed and beyond her limit of tolerance. In addition, I realized that I had not behaved respectfully toward her because I had not informed her of my plans in advance. I calmed down right away and the problem was resolved in the end.
In addition, I typed this sharing article by myself this time. It was my first time typing. Previously, I would ask fellow practitioners to type it for me. Actually, I asked this practitioner who had been so upset to type this article for me. She has a busy job and she stays up late at night. I never thought of this when I asked her to type for me. I always ask her to type for me whenever I want to submit an article. I would then go home relaxed and go to bed right away, but she had to stay up late to finish other things. I felt ashamed now and apologetic to other practitioners. So this time, I told myself that I had to finish the article by myself so that fellow practitioners could have more time to study the Fa.
I learned to let go of my attachments and consider others first. Although it is just a beginning, I will continue to be diligent until it becomes a habit for me.